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Reviews tagging 'Mental illness'
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
4 reviews
laurenfro22's review against another edition
fast-paced
1.0
You are a Badass presents itself as a self-help book in the tone of 2013 girl-bosses and irreverent slang. At its face, I wanted to like it - a confidence boost, a reminder that even when you feel unqualified, you are still awesome and can pursue the things you love. I was not the right audience for this, and I’m not really sure the book aged well. I wanted to put it down at like 100 pages, but figured I might as well see the train wreck through to the bitter end.
Obscuring her points is a plethora of problems. From incredibly fatphobic language, to XXX You could not pay me to read this again. Jen Sincero spends the ~300 pages harping on ‘frequency’ and insisting that the reasons you may not have what you want is that your energy isn’t telling the universe that you *really* want whatever it is. She flip flops constantly between suggesting big risk taking (buy that house you probably can’t afford and figure it out later! Lie through your teeth for that job you want! Buy that car because it feels right!) and promoting hiring professionals to do things you don’t like doing (hire a career coach -like me! Hire someone to do your laundry/cleaning/etc.!). Talk about whiplash!
For a book meant to focus on greatness and living your best life, it was very narrow in its scope. Your job, your looks, and your relationship are the main cases Sincero returns to time and again. The individualism powering her text fails to interrogate the systems and institutions that oppress people, choosing to instead shame folks for things they cannot control.
I had to stop about 12 pages in and look at the bio, and my immediate reaction was "of course! Of course she is flipping white." She says that to be your best self/live your best life, one must just "make one simple shift...from wanting to change your life to deciding to change your life." (12) Having a good mindset is helpful, yes, but you can't simply 'decide' yourself out of poverty, inequality, discrimination, &c. Right off the bat the author sets a sour tone via her obliviousness as she ignores systemic and intersectional barriers that exist.
In her exploration of consciousness and subconsciousness and their impact on decision making, she discusses how our subconscious can create barriers to the conscious goals we have in life. Her point has merit, and there are a number of more academic texts that give a better (less sound-bitey) understanding of this. However, her choice of examples was concerning. See below:
“Conscious mind: I want to lose 25 pounds.
Subconscious mind: People aren’t safe; I must build a shield to protect myself.
Body: A fortress of flab.” (25)
Throughout the rest of the book, Sincero uses a motif of body shaming and fatphobia to underline her points about chasing your best life. While I understand that this was 2013, there are no excuses for utilizing this as a tool to berate readers and people who are looking for help. I was also irritated by the number of times she used “big fat x” to emphasize a point.
Sincero’s advice for folks dealing with depression is to “behave the way a person who isn’t depressed behaves.” (147) Excuse me, what!? People who deal with depression deserve more than to be told, just pretend you don’t have depression. Our understanding of mental health and illness has certainly expanded in recent years, but even in 2013 it would have been reasonable for her to consult doctors or psychologists - people who actually treat these issues - rather than just telling people to not be sad anymore. Connected is her trauma olympics where she talks about how when she’s feeling down, she compares her struggles to Ray Charles and decides maybe her life isn’t so bad. Now, having perspective is not necessarily a bad thing - it is helpful to frame a situation and that can help you find a solution. However, people can experience many different and interconnected traumas, and they are allowed to acknowledge and be frustrated with the situations. There will always be someone who has it worse - that doesn’t mean you have to pretend your situation isn’t bad.
There is a concerning amount of white saviorism and weird fascination with Periphery countries woven throughout Sincero’s examples. From orphanages and schools in African countries to a strange recounting of her trip to India in a very ‘Eat-Pray-Love” moment, Sincero once again reveals her cluelessness. In a combination of classism, pro-capitalism, and racism-lite, she manages to repeatedly denigrate people who live different lives, hold different religions, and hold different values. Her tone is grating and infantilizing and comes across as her holding the keys to some kingdom of wealth and knowledge.
Sincero’s book is less a reminder that ‘you are a badass,’ and more a prosperity gospel with monetary advice fit only for those with WASP-y middle-class privilege at minimum. I was unimpressed by the majority of her book, and disappointed that it is clearly popular amongst self-help books. I am equally horrified that she has another book focused on money, and I’m concerned about the terrible, Dave Ramsey-like advice she is giving people. Between the cheerleader-y chatty slang, awful visual formatting, and generally terrible advice, I was very happy to close this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Fatphobia, Mental illness, and Sexism
A LOT of fatphobia, shaming language, and problematic approaches to issues. Proceed with caution.readingwithk's review against another edition
informative
fast-paced
1.0
One of the worst books I’ve ever read, but I’m so ready to dive in and tell you all about it
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Moderate: Fatphobia
waybeyondblue's review against another edition
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
1.75
I'm happy for all the people who love this book, and hope it gives them whatever they were looking for - but it wasn't for me. There were some core ideas that I liked - gratitude practice; the importance of forgiveness and letting go; meditation; surrendering control; and the emphasis on self-love. Her nan, who made some cameo appearances, also sounded cute. But I felt that these concepts were often appropriated from spiritual practices, and then undermined by being put to the use of manifesting (usually material) desires.
The chapter on money was particularly uncomfortable, especially the idea that it can just be materialised into your life if you want it bad enough (never mind the complexities of social structures, barriers, and systemic disadvantages). I also felt angry that depression was presented as something to just switch off and get over. This is completely misinformed, shows no empathy, and could be quite harmful for anyone living with depression. These are my main reasons for giving it such a low score.
On a less serious note, I also didn't like the use of language - calling anyone who can't, doesn't, or won't live according to her terms 'lame', 'lazy', 'whiney'. And there were way too many lists for me! Rather than making things easier to remember, there were so many that by the end they all just bled in to one, giant, never-ending list.
It left me feeling more bad than badass in the end.
The chapter on money was particularly uncomfortable, especially the idea that it can just be materialised into your life if you want it bad enough (never mind the complexities of social structures, barriers, and systemic disadvantages). I also felt angry that depression was presented as something to just switch off and get over. This is completely misinformed, shows no empathy, and could be quite harmful for anyone living with depression. These are my main reasons for giving it such a low score.
On a less serious note, I also didn't like the use of language - calling anyone who can't, doesn't, or won't live according to her terms 'lame', 'lazy', 'whiney'. And there were way too many lists for me! Rather than making things easier to remember, there were so many that by the end they all just bled in to one, giant, never-ending list.
It left me feeling more bad than badass in the end.
Content Warnings
Minor: Mental illness
kimi72714's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
3.0
This book, like most self help books, is a mix of good stuff and absolute bullshit. There are some great lessons in here that are great for people to learn, but there's also the complete avoidance of discussing the role of structural inequalities built into society. (I assume selling self help books is harder when you have to confront the issues of racism, colonialism and ableism).
Not every bad thing in your life is down to a lack of discipline: please know that going in! This book also completely misrepresents depression as wallowing in your own self pity, rather than a serious medical condition. Don't be like Jen, don't think that's what depression is.
So this was a good book overall, I liked most of the stories, I liked the writing style, but for a book that talks about getting serious with reality, it sure ignores most of what reality actually entails.
Not every bad thing in your life is down to a lack of discipline: please know that going in! This book also completely misrepresents depression as wallowing in your own self pity, rather than a serious medical condition. Don't be like Jen, don't think that's what depression is.
So this was a good book overall, I liked most of the stories, I liked the writing style, but for a book that talks about getting serious with reality, it sure ignores most of what reality actually entails.
Content Warnings
Minor: Ableism, Death, Fatphobia, Mental illness, and Toxic friendship
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