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book_concierge's review
4.0
Book on CD read by Jeff Woodman
Hodgman’s elderly mother was clearly in trouble. He had lost one job and had the time to spend with her back home in Missouri. His work as an editor allowed him to continue “remotely” while he shepherded his mother along a path neither of them wanted to take. In this memoir he relates not only their fractious journey together, but the many incidents in their backgrounds that brought them to this place.
I found this tender and funny, heartbreaking and hopeful. There were times when I wanted to slap him (or Betty) upside the head and force one or both of them to face reality. There were times when I wanted to just wrap them in a blanket and give them little “now, now and there, there” comforting pats. I was reminded of the many trips I took to Texas to help my parents as they faced these same demons: of aging, of loss of independence, of loss of control, of loss of identity.
This snippet describes perfectly the relationship I had with my mother during the earlier stages of her disease process: I know she hates me sometimes. how could she not? I am the guard at the prison she will never get out of. Sometimes I am just as pent-up and angry. I loathe her too. Just a typical American family, torn between love and homicide, but united in our way.
Not that you need my opinion, George, but you did the right thing. Always.
The audiobook was masterfully performed by Jeff Woodman.
Hodgman’s elderly mother was clearly in trouble. He had lost one job and had the time to spend with her back home in Missouri. His work as an editor allowed him to continue “remotely” while he shepherded his mother along a path neither of them wanted to take. In this memoir he relates not only their fractious journey together, but the many incidents in their backgrounds that brought them to this place.
I found this tender and funny, heartbreaking and hopeful. There were times when I wanted to slap him (or Betty) upside the head and force one or both of them to face reality. There were times when I wanted to just wrap them in a blanket and give them little “now, now and there, there” comforting pats. I was reminded of the many trips I took to Texas to help my parents as they faced these same demons: of aging, of loss of independence, of loss of control, of loss of identity.
This snippet describes perfectly the relationship I had with my mother during the earlier stages of her disease process: I know she hates me sometimes. how could she not? I am the guard at the prison she will never get out of. Sometimes I am just as pent-up and angry. I loathe her too. Just a typical American family, torn between love and homicide, but united in our way.
Not that you need my opinion, George, but you did the right thing. Always.
The audiobook was masterfully performed by Jeff Woodman.
freckleduck's review
2.0
This book was heartbreaking and at times sad and at times beautiful. I appreciated the honesty and integrity with which this memoir was written. I also appreciated how the author was reflecting and describing the situation in a both humorous and true way.
debs4jc's review against another edition
2.0
The author relates his experiences and musings about returning to his hometown in Missouri to care for his mother after having lived in New York. She has issues with her memory. He has struggles with his career, with relationships, and with her. I found parts of it interesting, especially since I'm familiar with the general location where he was in Missouri - so I found his reflections on how people live there interesting. His stories about coping with his mom's condition and the dog he adopts were endearing or at least interesting. But overall it just seemed an average read, not hugely memorable. For those with more of a similar way of thinking as the author it would probably be more enjoyable.
ginny17's review
3.0
Funny and poignant. It jumps around in time a lot, sometimes multiple times on one page, so it's hard to follow. Still a nice memoir.
auroraboringallofus's review
5.0
Reviews made me nervous that this book would sentimentalize "the good old days" (hey, it's now 2018 and we're all more skeptical), but that's not what this book was about at all. There's no empty nostalgia. This book is so much more thoughtful and complex than that.
kategci's review against another edition
3.0
I so wanted to love this book, but it fell short for me. George Hodgman who has worked in publishing has gone home to Paris, Missouri to take care of his 90 year old mother. Paris is a small town, surrounded by other small towns and George, a gay man never felt like he belonged there. Going home, he spends much of his time trying to connect in a deeper way with his mother who has always been very self contained. She is not demonstrative, but vey strong willed and inflexible. She was not a gushy, "I love you" kind of mother and as much as George states through the story he would not have wanted a soft, tender mother, one senses he really wished she had been more open and kind. She was distant with everyone, including her husband of almost 50 years. George is unable to really provide a why to her demeanor and behavior; it just was Betty's way. Reading this memoir was tiring at times; George's examples and vignettes never really made much headway and we were back at Betty's cold behavior. George is much more forgiving than I would have been; his life has been marked by drug abuse and an inability to form an intimate attachment. He accepts full responsibility for himself and does not lay any blame at his parents' feet. Ultimately, George accepts his mother for who she was and has become, but this was not enough of a plot point for me. Memoir is not my favorite genre and I think there are probably better memoirs published. It is very well written, a testament to George's profession which suited him well.
pamjsa's review
4.0
A sweet and touching memoir about growing older, learning to love ourselves in spite of the things we were raised to believe about ourselves, and learning how to care for the parents that grow older right along with us. I found Hodgman's narrative alternately hilarious and frustrating, which I think is exactly what he intended. Having lost both of my elderly parents in the last 6 years, this memoir resonated strongly with me.