Reviews

My Favorite Fangs: The Story of the Von Trapp Family Vampires by Alan Goldsher

barnesbookshelf's review

2.0

I remember not appreciating the overly sexed parts of the book, but I also vaguely remember there being scene where other monstrous pop-culture characters, like Wolf-Man and Frankenstein's monster, popped up and discussed the book. Did I imagine that?
I also remember it being a sort of fun read, but not the sort of thing I wanted to share with my friends and read a million times over. Not the worst book I've ever read, but incredibly far from the greatest.

beastreader's review

4.0

Maria lives at the Abbey with Mother Zombie and her fellow sisters. Mother Zombie has had enough of Maria's antics. She kicks Maria out to try and get along with others. Maria becomes the new Governesses for the von Trapp children. There is the father, Captain von Trapp and his children. Things get a rough start when Maria turns one of the children right away into a vampire. Things get better until Maria meets Lady Baroness. Lady Baroness wants Maria gone but Maria will not give up without a fight.

I have to admit that I have never seen the movie or play, Sound of Music. However, this is not what attracted me to this book anyways. It was the book cover. O-M-G. This book had me from the moment I picked this book up and started reading it. The shining star in this book was Maria. She was vile, shameless, and horney as can be. Trust me, while Maria may be dead that does not keep her from mentioning and showing her "lady parts" off as much as she can get away with. Maria makes Julie Andrews look like a saint. The female battle between Maria and Lady Baroness was entertaining as well. They were like watching two cats in heat My only problem was that I found Captain von Trapp to be a bore. It was like he was walking in an alcoholic haze all the time. I wondered what the two women found in him. It had to have been the money. The more that I got to know of Captain von Trapp, I more that I was rooting for Maria and Lady Baroness to hook up and forget the Captain. If this had happened, this would have really made things interesting. The crazed von Trapp children was also great. Running around shouting "The Hills are Alive". My Favorite Fangs will have you roaring with laughter and singing "Blood drops on roses and bloody-nosed kittens" are just a few of my favorite things.

lyssrose's review

dark funny fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

This book was ridiculous, gross, and I adored just about every minute of it!  It took about a chapter or two to really get into it, but after that point, my sensibilities were shocked enough that I could enjoy the rest of the ride. 

schottjm's review

3.0

I found most of the book laugh-out-loud funny. There were a few jokes that fell flat to me, but overall, this was a light, quick read.

goldenorchids12's review

DNF at 41%.

citizen6174's review

4.0

Oh my...This book. What a very strange book. I have never seen The Sound of Music, but it has a large enough imprint in pop culture for me to know the main things. This book was a breath of fresh air. It was grotesque, over the top, graphic, and it somehow just worked for me. Maria, who is a vampire, goes to help out with the Von Trapp family, and ends up turning the 5 kids into vampires. This book didn't necessarily have a straight through plot, but instead it relied on it's over the top hijinks and gross out methods to fill in the plot, which was ok for me. Also enjoyed the cameos by Alfred from Batman and Alice the maid from the Brady Bunch. Why were they in this book? I don't know, and i didn't really care. A few times i couldn't believe how over the line the author went. At one point an underage girl is taught to go down on herself!?! Lots of body fluids being spewed including blood and vomit as well as other stuff. I can completely understand why certain people would not enjoy this book, but for the same reasons it would be disliked, i enjoyed it. I laughed a few times as well as smiled from the humor. My only small complaint would be that the characters will tell you as the book progresses that you are reading a book, so there is definitely that wall that gets broken down enough for them to be like hey, this is a book and this chapter is something something yada yada, etc etc. It happened a bit much for my liking, but then again, nothing about this book was taking itself seriously. There are also interludes or breaks through out the book featuring Dracula, Count Chocula and Edward from Twilight. Also cameos from The Blob and Frankenstein.

ashleighbeanxo's review

1.0

I really shouldn't have expected much from a book based on The Sound of The Music where Maria is a sexed-up vampire. But this was sooo much worse than I thought it would be.

myntop's review

4.0

This book was VERY amusing to me. While some may not appreciate the humor of it, I found it highly entertaining. I will say that having seen the Sound of Music and several of the other musicals and cultural references throughout the book helped to add to the appeal. It's hard to get into a humorous book if you don't "get" the references. This author kept me smiling, giggling, even out right laughing throughout the novel. Good work.

theawkwardbookw's review

1.0

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Maria is a Vampire who lives amongst Sister Zombies in the Zombie Alley. When Mother Zombie kicks MAria out of the Alley, she heads to the Von Trapp residence to become the Von Trapp children's new Governess. Upon arriving, Maria turns the children into vampires and marries Captain Von Trapp. When Nazi's begin to threaten her new family she takes matters into her own hands to stop them once and for all.

I was so excited for this book when I read the synopsis... As soon as I finished the prologue I knew I was going to hate it.... If I could give less than one star on goodreads I would.... this was by far the most idiotic, pointless piece of garbage I have ever read. If I had to read the words "whore", "lady bits" and "breasts" I was going to freak out. read this book and you'll find out. It's so poorly written and obnoxious I hated every second of it.

Overall, the book is a waste of time and I'd definitely NOT recommend it to anyone...

rubyslippersreads's review

1.0

This gets one star for the extremely well-done cover. If only I'd just admired the cover in the bookstore and left it at that.