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headbangerhijabi's review
funny
lighthearted
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
0.5
CW: this book discusses internalized fatphobia, low self esteem issues, and weight issues and does a mediocre job at addressing the actual issues. If that is something you struggle with I would probably go pick up something else
I really wanted to like this book, the back made it sound really interesting but there were way too many things I kept stumbling over.
Spoilers below
1) Lily, the FMC, constantly down talks herself. I understand that we live in a society that prioritizes thin-ness and non-straight-sized people are the target for a lot of ish flung at them; but when your entire personality seems to be taken over by this negativity it's hard to empathize with the character.
Especially when Lily's down talk is shown to negatively impact those around her. Her best friend Cat calls her out on it around 75% of the way through the plot, and she's absolutely right to. Lily, conversely, doesn't even realize that her best friend is hurt by everything she's saying, too. Additionally, Evan (one of two antagonists) tells her at one point that the reason he always hated her is her off handed remarks to his plus-sized friend about what they were both eating that hurt his friend badly. Just about every woman outside of her mother that is introduced is given a "she's so pretty because she's skinny and I can't compete with that" statement as a means of describing the character. Cat is "Tall and skinny" Raven is "Curvy and skinny" Marianna is "Pretty, blonde, and skinny". The only other plus-sized character is killed off after we have one conversation with her.
A good chunk of Lily's inner dialogue is caught up in thoughts of "I'm going to be this weight forever" it even becomes a tagline of sorts. In the last couple chapters, Lily finally "accepts" the body she's going to have for the rest of her vampire life, but it kinda falls flat given that it's in the final pages of the book and considering the percentage of the book that was devoted to her down talking. If you asked me to name three things non-weight related that Lily likes as a character I would say "Tequila and writing for her job and idk"
2) Tristan is boring. Genuinely, if you replaced him with a Ken Doll I probably wouldn't be able to tell. Also, I understand that the "Vampire Influence" thing is a thing in vampire books, but with the way Lily is constantly telling him it's skeevy and he never even acknowledges that gave me the ick.
3) There was way too much going on in this story. I like when books give themselves room for a sequel to come along, but the way it was executed here just felt like the author was trying to cram everything into one go. Introducing Gideon as the main antagonist would have been enough, but adding in Evan the way that he is introduced felt like the author had a eureka moment and threw him in because she wanted the extra pages his character would add. Having a Slayer in the mix of a vampire story is interesting, don't get me wrong, but when you randomly say he's got fire powers and goes feral when he's around vampires and then that's it, it leaves the reader disappointed. Also introducing Evan as the secondary antagonist took away from Gideon's character. I would have liked to see more into Gideon's head, not necessarily a POV chapter or anything but just a bit more into why everyone is scared of him. Develop him more, talk about what he's done in the past to get to be Grand Master of the vampires. Even talk about who his inner circle is and how they came to be. Instead we get a weird "everyone file off the elevator dramatically" scene and then Evan burns the whole building down and then Lily explains to them that "they can evolve and be modern" and basically reminds the grunts that democracy exists and Gideon lets them go home? idek, it was weird and anti climactic.
4) The writing style started to drive me crazy after a while. If this is how you like your books go for it, but for me Lily's internal monologue sounds like the author was trying to emulate how Cady narrates her life in Mean Girls. it's like shes talking to an audience, but there's not an established/consistent fourth wall break method to when and where she breaks it. I like 4thWBs but if they're done badly they're grating. She uses filler words in her internal monologue to emphasize herself, but again, it doesnt feel like a 4thWB and reading sentences like "the room was filled with, um, *fire*" just felt a bit childish and it got on my nerves. If I never have to read the word "natch" instead of "naturally" again it will be too soon.
Also the author uses product placement at every opportunity. It's never "I charged my laptop/phone" it's always "my MacBook" or "Cat's iPhone" or whatever else. Like, are you looking for a sponsorship or something? At this point in time, most people think of a smartphone when they read the words "my phone" so why emphasize that constantly? It reminded me of the writing rule about pants. "Unless there's a reason to mention it, always assume the character is wearing pants." Like, if it was a shocker that she has an iPhone or she's going for a sponsorship or something else plot related go ahead and include it, but you don't need to specify that she has an iOS phone or an Android or whatever.
5) maybe this is just because I live in a big metropolitan city myself, but the way that NYC is described sounds like it's deserted. There's no one just randomly walking on the street, there's only one or two mentions of people on the subway, and Tristan can always find parking for some unknown reason. like i get that it's night when she's out and about but COME ON NYC has more people than that randomly walking on the sidewalks at night.
I hope this didn't come off as catty or mean spirited. I really am just trying to leave an honest review. If you are someone who likes the book ignore me :)
I really wanted to like this book, the back made it sound really interesting but there were way too many things I kept stumbling over.
Spoilers below
Especially when Lily's down talk is shown to negatively impact those around her. Her best friend Cat calls her out on it around 75% of the way through the plot, and she's absolutely right to. Lily, conversely, doesn't even realize that her best friend is hurt by everything she's saying, too. Additionally, Evan (one of two antagonists) tells her at one point that the reason he always hated her is her off handed remarks to his plus-sized friend about what they were both eating that hurt his friend badly. Just about every woman outside of her mother that is introduced is given a "she's so pretty because she's skinny and I can't compete with that" statement as a means of describing the character. Cat is "Tall and skinny" Raven is "Curvy and skinny" Marianna is "Pretty, blonde, and skinny". The only other plus-sized character is killed off after we have one conversation with her.
A good chunk of Lily's inner dialogue is caught up in thoughts of "I'm going to be this weight forever" it even becomes a tagline of sorts. In the last couple chapters, Lily finally "accepts" the body she's going to have for the rest of her vampire life, but it kinda falls flat given that it's in the final pages of the book and considering the percentage of the book that was devoted to her down talking. If you asked me to name three things non-weight related that Lily likes as a character I would say "Tequila and writing for her job and idk"
2) Tristan is boring. Genuinely, if you replaced him with a Ken Doll I probably wouldn't be able to tell. Also, I understand that the "Vampire Influence" thing is a thing in vampire books, but with the way Lily is constantly telling him it's skeevy and he never even acknowledges that gave me the ick.
3) There was way too much going on in this story. I like when books give themselves room for a sequel to come along, but the way it was executed here just felt like the author was trying to cram everything into one go. Introducing Gideon as the main antagonist would have been enough, but adding in Evan the way that he is introduced felt like the author had a eureka moment and threw him in because she wanted the extra pages his character would add. Having a Slayer in the mix of a vampire story is interesting, don't get me wrong, but when you randomly say he's got fire powers and goes feral when he's around vampires and then that's it, it leaves the reader disappointed. Also introducing Evan as the secondary antagonist took away from Gideon's character. I would have liked to see more into Gideon's head, not necessarily a POV chapter or anything but just a bit more into why everyone is scared of him. Develop him more, talk about what he's done in the past to get to be Grand Master of the vampires. Even talk about who his inner circle is and how they came to be. Instead we get a weird "everyone file off the elevator dramatically" scene and then Evan burns the whole building down and then Lily explains to them that "they can evolve and be modern" and basically reminds the grunts that democracy exists and Gideon lets them go home? idek, it was weird and anti climactic.
4) The writing style started to drive me crazy after a while. If this is how you like your books go for it, but for me Lily's internal monologue sounds like the author was trying to emulate how Cady narrates her life in Mean Girls. it's like shes talking to an audience, but there's not an established/consistent fourth wall break method to when and where she breaks it. I like 4thWBs but if they're done badly they're grating. She uses filler words in her internal monologue to emphasize herself, but again, it doesnt feel like a 4thWB and reading sentences like "the room was filled with, um, *fire*" just felt a bit childish and it got on my nerves. If I never have to read the word "natch" instead of "naturally" again it will be too soon.
Also the author uses product placement at every opportunity. It's never "I charged my laptop/phone" it's always "my MacBook" or "Cat's iPhone" or whatever else. Like, are you looking for a sponsorship or something? At this point in time, most people think of a smartphone when they read the words "my phone" so why emphasize that constantly? It reminded me of the writing rule about pants. "Unless there's a reason to mention it, always assume the character is wearing pants." Like, if it was a shocker that she has an iPhone or she's going for a sponsorship or something else plot related go ahead and include it, but you don't need to specify that she has an iOS phone or an Android or whatever.
5) maybe this is just because I live in a big metropolitan city myself, but the way that NYC is described sounds like it's deserted. There's no one just randomly walking on the street, there's only one or two mentions of people on the subway, and Tristan can always find parking for some unknown reason. like i get that it's night when she's out and about but COME ON NYC has more people than that randomly walking on the sidewalks at night.
I hope this didn't come off as catty or mean spirited. I really am just trying to leave an honest review. If you are someone who likes the book ignore me :)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Cursing, Toxic friendship, Fatphobia, Murder, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Sexual content, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, and Gaslighting
booksandcurlz's review against another edition
This book is too triggering for me. Made it less than 10% I honestly could not do it. I did not finish it.
As someone who has gone through a journey of finding peace with their body, this is not the type of Fat rep in books I am seeking in the books I read. To me this book does a disservice to any efforts to portray fat women as strong, independent, and confident.
Some FMC’s behaviors that triggered me:
- Self-deprecation and fat shaming.
- Stuck in Diet Culture mentality. Lots of diet talk.
- Envious of her best friend because she had a better job, "better body", and was volunteering. WHAT?
- Belief that her appearance makes her less valuable, therefore not worthy of male attention. Thank you, NEXT!
This is a DNF for me. I'm not willing to sit through several hours of listening to this woman complain about her body image. This is way too triggering for me to continue listen. 5 chapters in and we haven't even met the MMC yet.
I really had high hopes for this one. This is disappointing.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic friendship, Eating disorder, and Body shaming
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