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apileofcranes's review against another edition
emotional
funny
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.5
I really wanted to like this story, because the idea of starting a relationship without a strong base and then learning about each other and working on communicating better does appeal to me, but there was one big issue that left me feeling rocky about whether Miwa and Saeko should be dating at all, the drama around having sex. I think it’s important to talk about different sex drives/experience but the way this book handled it left me feeling gross. Saeko is seen as perfectly valid for wanting to have sex right away, yet their entire friend group labels Miwa as “a pain in the ass” for being scared and unsure about her first time. This story tried so hard to focus on the “working things out” aspect of a relationship, but ended up invalidating anyone who might not be interested in having sex right away, or ever. On top of that, I felt the communication aspect was lacking even more due to the fact that Saeko couldn’t be serious for more than a few seconds.
I’m going to keep reading because I’m hoping the dynamic gets better, but this story about communication and figuring things out in a relationship doesn’t do very well in that aspect. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen, but for something meant to be all about it? Mileage may vary.
I’m going to keep reading because I’m hoping the dynamic gets better, but this story about communication and figuring things out in a relationship doesn’t do very well in that aspect. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen, but for something meant to be all about it? Mileage may vary.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia
Moderate: Sexual harassment
Minor: Lesbophobia and Homophobia
jbeoin's review against another edition
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
1.0
Content Note: This book involves a lot of someone pressuring their partner to have sex when that partner is clearly uncomfortable and not ready. There are quite a few manipulative moments, some comments that feel anti-asexual, and some victim blaming-type language throughout the book
How Do We Relationship? Volume 1 is, according to the author, a book exploring the kind of relationship that doesn’t begin in a fairy tale kind of way; it dives into the messy dynamics of getting to know someone as a romantic partner.
What Worked for Me
✦ The artwork was very cute and expressive. I really enjoyed the way the creator utilized facial expressions and body language to tell the story; it was quite effective in conveying the mood throughout, and there was a lot of energy throughout the pages. The panel layouts were also well varied.
✦ There were some nice character designs in here, and I liked that the creator showed us how Miwa and Saeko looked different when they were younger during the flashback scenes. That felt really realistic to me, seeing younger queer people find ways to change their expression as they age.
✦ I liked that the creator dove into discussions about the fear of losing friendships when coming out. I’ve been out for over a decade, and I still have that concern about what will happen when I come out to someone new or when I push back on some aspect of my identity that someone close to me is wrong about. Our feelings can fluctuate, and this book represented that fluctuation well.
Spoilers follow!
✦ I really enjoyed the fact that no one in this book was blatantly anti-queer. It’s nice to read a book that allows the characters to be wary of it in their lives but ultimately ends up not having to deal with that on the pages.
✦ I liked that Saeko’s mom was super chill about her having a girlfriend. I liked that she wanted to make a good impression on her and was also treating the two women’s relationship as a completely normal thing. I don’t see that often enough, and I was glad for it to be in the story!
What Didn't Work for Me
I apologize for putting all of this section as spoilers, but it was just so... awful that I needed to speak about it in detail. To sum it up, I go in depth about the content notes at the beginning of this review and why they were so frustrating and harmful.
Spoilers follow!
✦ I intensely disliked the way Saeko continuously pressures Miwa to have sex throughout the book despite Miwa making it very clear that she’s not ready for that. It was very uncomfortable to read, and it made me angry that this was portrayed as Miwa being, quote, “a pain in the ass.” She’s repeatedly badgered and pushed into sexual acts that she’s not comfortable with, and that’s not okay.
✦ I felt that Saeko was very manipulative throughout the book. For example, as soon as she learns that Miwa is also queer, she immediately suggests that Miwa has no other options around, insinuating that she doesn’t have another choice if she wants to date a woman, while openly antagonizing her about her presumed lack of sexual experience. These are all red flags for me in relationships, and it’s not something I enjoyed reading. I think Saeko’s character could be very fun if she weren’t dismissive of others’ boundaries and were more respectful of other’s needs.
✦ The relationship didn’t consistently have chemistry to me. I didn’t see a reason for these characters to be together other than proximity and both of them being queer. I think it’s fine for a book to explore relationships that don’t start out the most enthusiastically, and I quite enjoy the trope of relationship-of-convenience when done well, but that wasn’t what I got out of their relationship (for many of the reasons I’ve already stated). I would love to see a book that explores this queer approach to the trope in a more respectful way.
✦ The guys in the book are creepy more often than not. Lucha was kind of cute later on when rooting for the two women, and I appreciated Mikkun’s support later on in the story, too. Tsuruta was just plan creepy the entire time, and the others were, too, at the beginning. There’s also a couple of inclusions of the men asking invasive questions about sex between women; I felt like that was realistic in a way that I didn’t want to read about lol
✦ I didn’t like that the characters didn’t just talk to one another about their issues and boundaries. I think Miwa’s character was designed as someone who has trouble speaking up about her boundaries, and Saeko was designed as someone who ignores boundaries and the need for them. I think this can be a common experience for young college people figuring things out, but as a reader, the dynamic made me uncomfortable when frequently revolved around sex. I think it would have been great to see more frank discussions about boundaries and learning how to communicate them well.
✦ Boundaries were an issue for most of the characters in here, not just the main two.
✦ I felt like Miwa’s character could possibly have been asexual or demisexual, but she wasn’t given a chance to explore those feelings in her relationship with Saeko. I’m not ace myself, so I don’t want to speak for the community, but there were a lot of comments throughout that felt anti-ace to me, which was really disappointing.
Overall
I give How Do We Relationship? Volume One 1 out of 5 speech bubbles: I didn’t enjoy this and wouldn’t recommend it.
I really wanted to like this book, but it just had too many issues for me to overlook. I felt uncomfortable most of the time while reading and had to force myself to finish it. I think the idea the author expressed in the end note was a good one, and I’d love to see more comics that explore relationships after they start, but I just don’t think this one rose to the occasion. I hope we’ll get more of that genre, though!
How to Read It
Interested in checking it out for yourself? Here are a few ways you can get your hands on a copy:
Local Options
Your Local Library!
Your Local Comic Book Shop!
Your Local Book Store!
Small + Indie Options
Loyalty Bookstores
Bookshop
Midtown Comics
Big + Boxy Options
Kinokuniya
Barnes & Noble
Books a Million
Read This Next
If you liked this, check out Vampire Blood Drive by Mira Ong Chua, Sora & Haena by Jackbull on the Tapas app, and My Love Mix-Up! by Aruko and Wataru Hinekure
If you enjoyed this review, I have a monthly comic review series called More Comics Please! on my website. This title was featured in Issue #2 with interior page excerpts and additional information not shared here on Storygraph. You can sign up to receive them in your inbox by subscribing to my newsletter Into the Bramble.
How Do We Relationship? Volume 1 is, according to the author, a book exploring the kind of relationship that doesn’t begin in a fairy tale kind of way; it dives into the messy dynamics of getting to know someone as a romantic partner.
What Worked for Me
✦ The artwork was very cute and expressive. I really enjoyed the way the creator utilized facial expressions and body language to tell the story; it was quite effective in conveying the mood throughout, and there was a lot of energy throughout the pages. The panel layouts were also well varied.
✦ There were some nice character designs in here, and I liked that the creator showed us how Miwa and Saeko looked different when they were younger during the flashback scenes. That felt really realistic to me, seeing younger queer people find ways to change their expression as they age.
✦ I liked that the creator dove into discussions about the fear of losing friendships when coming out. I’ve been out for over a decade, and I still have that concern about what will happen when I come out to someone new or when I push back on some aspect of my identity that someone close to me is wrong about. Our feelings can fluctuate, and this book represented that fluctuation well.
Spoilers follow!
✦ I liked that Saeko’s mom was super chill about her having a girlfriend. I liked that she wanted to make a good impression on her and was also treating the two women’s relationship as a completely normal thing. I don’t see that often enough, and I was glad for it to be in the story!
What Didn't Work for Me
I apologize for putting all of this section as spoilers, but it was just so... awful that I needed to speak about it in detail. To sum it up, I go in depth about the content notes at the beginning of this review and why they were so frustrating and harmful.
Spoilers follow!
✦ I felt that Saeko was very manipulative throughout the book. For example, as soon as she learns that Miwa is also queer, she immediately suggests that Miwa has no other options around, insinuating that she doesn’t have another choice if she wants to date a woman, while openly antagonizing her about her presumed lack of sexual experience. These are all red flags for me in relationships, and it’s not something I enjoyed reading. I think Saeko’s character could be very fun if she weren’t dismissive of others’ boundaries and were more respectful of other’s needs.
✦ The relationship didn’t consistently have chemistry to me. I didn’t see a reason for these characters to be together other than proximity and both of them being queer. I think it’s fine for a book to explore relationships that don’t start out the most enthusiastically, and I quite enjoy the trope of relationship-of-convenience when done well, but that wasn’t what I got out of their relationship (for many of the reasons I’ve already stated). I would love to see a book that explores this queer approach to the trope in a more respectful way.
✦ The guys in the book are creepy more often than not. Lucha was kind of cute later on when rooting for the two women, and I appreciated Mikkun’s support later on in the story, too. Tsuruta was just plan creepy the entire time, and the others were, too, at the beginning. There’s also a couple of inclusions of the men asking invasive questions about sex between women; I felt like that was realistic in a way that I didn’t want to read about lol
✦ I didn’t like that the characters didn’t just talk to one another about their issues and boundaries. I think Miwa’s character was designed as someone who has trouble speaking up about her boundaries, and Saeko was designed as someone who ignores boundaries and the need for them. I think this can be a common experience for young college people figuring things out, but as a reader, the dynamic made me uncomfortable when frequently revolved around sex. I think it would have been great to see more frank discussions about boundaries and learning how to communicate them well.
✦ Boundaries were an issue for most of the characters in here, not just the main two.
✦ I felt like Miwa’s character could possibly have been asexual or demisexual, but she wasn’t given a chance to explore those feelings in her relationship with Saeko. I’m not ace myself, so I don’t want to speak for the community, but there were a lot of comments throughout that felt anti-ace to me, which was really disappointing.
Overall
I give How Do We Relationship? Volume One 1 out of 5 speech bubbles: I didn’t enjoy this and wouldn’t recommend it.
I really wanted to like this book, but it just had too many issues for me to overlook. I felt uncomfortable most of the time while reading and had to force myself to finish it. I think the idea the author expressed in the end note was a good one, and I’d love to see more comics that explore relationships after they start, but I just don’t think this one rose to the occasion. I hope we’ll get more of that genre, though!
How to Read It
Interested in checking it out for yourself? Here are a few ways you can get your hands on a copy:
Local Options
Your Local Library!
Your Local Comic Book Shop!
Your Local Book Store!
Small + Indie Options
Loyalty Bookstores
Bookshop
Midtown Comics
Big + Boxy Options
Kinokuniya
Barnes & Noble
Books a Million
Read This Next
If you liked this, check out Vampire Blood Drive by Mira Ong Chua, Sora & Haena by Jackbull on the Tapas app, and My Love Mix-Up! by Aruko and Wataru Hinekure
If you enjoyed this review, I have a monthly comic review series called More Comics Please! on my website. This title was featured in Issue #2 with interior page excerpts and additional information not shared here on Storygraph. You can sign up to receive them in your inbox by subscribing to my newsletter Into the Bramble.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia, Sexual harassment, and Sexual content
More...