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mariebutler's review against another edition
5.0
I received a free excerpt of Invincible for the purpose of my review through smiley360. This book is eye opening for me. Childhood domestic violence is not something that I have had to deal with in my life and hope to never experience with my own children. With children violence often goes unreported. This book was eye opening to me and I'm thankful for the chance to read an excerpt.
dropkickdisco's review against another edition
5.0
I have received a free excerpt of Invincible for the purpose of my review. However, all opinions stated are entirely my own.
Invincible opened my eyes to a world I thought I knew. While I did not grow up with domestic violence, I thought I had a proficient understanding of what it was like to do so; but I was wrong.
The flow of this book is very easy to read. The interchanging between Brian's personal experience with domestic abuse, and statistics, and insight from various other professionals and victims, makes for an easy read that keeps you engaged. The more I read, the more interested and saddened I was. It gave me a greater understanding of the impact on children and then adults who grow up this way.
Invincible is a book that I would recommend to all. Victims, friends of victims, and those like me who are on the outside. I appreciate the knew found information and understanding and hope that this book can give others clarity, empathy and maybe even a feeling of being understood.
Invincible opened my eyes to a world I thought I knew. While I did not grow up with domestic violence, I thought I had a proficient understanding of what it was like to do so; but I was wrong.
The flow of this book is very easy to read. The interchanging between Brian's personal experience with domestic abuse, and statistics, and insight from various other professionals and victims, makes for an easy read that keeps you engaged. The more I read, the more interested and saddened I was. It gave me a greater understanding of the impact on children and then adults who grow up this way.
Invincible is a book that I would recommend to all. Victims, friends of victims, and those like me who are on the outside. I appreciate the knew found information and understanding and hope that this book can give others clarity, empathy and maybe even a feeling of being understood.
westmoreland's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.5
tasmanian_bibliophile's review against another edition
5.0
‘Can a childhood filled with violence and pain be transformed into one filled with strength, love and freedom?’
According to UNICEF (as quoted in this book’s description), growing up with domestic violence is one of the most pervasive human rights violations in the world, affecting more than one billion people. What are the impacts on those children who survive to adulthood? Is it possible to (somehow) move beyond those impacts, and break out of what can so often become a self-perpetuating cycle of abuse? When we think of abuse, we often think of physical violence. But abuse takes many forms, and the effects of abuse are not always obvious.
‘For a child, witnessing domestic violence is as psychologically damaging as being physically abused.’
In this book, Brian Martin (himself a survivor of abuse) sets out to uncover the ten lies that abused children learn to believe (including how the abuse is their fault and their sense of guilt for not being able to save others). Each chapter addresses one of these lies, and includes a path from the lie to its corresponding truth. What I particularly like about Mr Martin’s approach is that he provides an explanation for why (and how) the lie becomes accepted as truth. For example, we believe as children that we are responsible for the violence we lived with because while the emotional brain is fully developed, the neocortex (the logical thinking centre of the brain) is not fully developed until adulthood. Over time, this belief becomes ‘true’ and we do not challenge it.
‘Guilt driven people are manipulated by memories. They allow their past to control their future.’
While those interested in (but not personally directly affected by) domestic violence as children may be able to read this book straight through, I’d recommend that domestic violence survivors deal with one chapter at a time, and undertake the exercises suggested in each chapter, before moving to the next chapter. While each chapter is important and has its own wisdom to impart, for me the reading order is less important than tackling and completing one chapter at a time. And, for some of us, it may well be necessary to revisit some chapters more than once.
There is hope in this book: the possibility of learning how to break out of negative (and self-destructive) cycles. For me personally, a key phrase is that: ‘Between a stimulus and a response there is a gap in time.’ And that gap provides an opportunity to consider which response might be most appropriate (for you) to the stimulus. You may not be able to change the stimulus, but there may be a more appropriate response to it.
I would recommend this book to anyone who cares about their fellow human beings. If you were fortunate enough not to suffer as a consequence of childhood domestic violence, this book will help you to better understand some of the actions of those who have. If you have suffered, this book will provide you with some very useful tools for taking control of your life rather than reacting to the pain of your past. It takes courage to make changes.
Note: My review is based on an uncorrected galley proof which was provided to me prior to publication.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
According to UNICEF (as quoted in this book’s description), growing up with domestic violence is one of the most pervasive human rights violations in the world, affecting more than one billion people. What are the impacts on those children who survive to adulthood? Is it possible to (somehow) move beyond those impacts, and break out of what can so often become a self-perpetuating cycle of abuse? When we think of abuse, we often think of physical violence. But abuse takes many forms, and the effects of abuse are not always obvious.
‘For a child, witnessing domestic violence is as psychologically damaging as being physically abused.’
In this book, Brian Martin (himself a survivor of abuse) sets out to uncover the ten lies that abused children learn to believe (including how the abuse is their fault and their sense of guilt for not being able to save others). Each chapter addresses one of these lies, and includes a path from the lie to its corresponding truth. What I particularly like about Mr Martin’s approach is that he provides an explanation for why (and how) the lie becomes accepted as truth. For example, we believe as children that we are responsible for the violence we lived with because while the emotional brain is fully developed, the neocortex (the logical thinking centre of the brain) is not fully developed until adulthood. Over time, this belief becomes ‘true’ and we do not challenge it.
‘Guilt driven people are manipulated by memories. They allow their past to control their future.’
While those interested in (but not personally directly affected by) domestic violence as children may be able to read this book straight through, I’d recommend that domestic violence survivors deal with one chapter at a time, and undertake the exercises suggested in each chapter, before moving to the next chapter. While each chapter is important and has its own wisdom to impart, for me the reading order is less important than tackling and completing one chapter at a time. And, for some of us, it may well be necessary to revisit some chapters more than once.
There is hope in this book: the possibility of learning how to break out of negative (and self-destructive) cycles. For me personally, a key phrase is that: ‘Between a stimulus and a response there is a gap in time.’ And that gap provides an opportunity to consider which response might be most appropriate (for you) to the stimulus. You may not be able to change the stimulus, but there may be a more appropriate response to it.
I would recommend this book to anyone who cares about their fellow human beings. If you were fortunate enough not to suffer as a consequence of childhood domestic violence, this book will help you to better understand some of the actions of those who have. If you have suffered, this book will provide you with some very useful tools for taking control of your life rather than reacting to the pain of your past. It takes courage to make changes.
Note: My review is based on an uncorrected galley proof which was provided to me prior to publication.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
p_tremuloides's review against another edition
4.0
3 for writing style; 4 for overall readability; 3.5 for content (if you've done your own work through other readings/healing via counselors/etc. or if you work in the field)
mathyoda1971's review
5.0
If you grew up as a child of domestic violence or know someone who did, please read this book. Through analysis of research on various topics, personal stories and accounts of other individuals who endured the suffering of domestic violence, this book explores ten lies that children learn in such a situation, the ramifications for their adult life, and pathways to re-frame suffering as strength. This is an excellent and readable book.
chymerra's review
5.0
I recieved an free excerpt of this book from Smiley 360 to review. From what I read, this book is excellent. If you were in a domestic violence situation with children or are currently involved in one, you need to read this book. The tips and empowerment that I read were great and I wish could afford to read the rest of the book.
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