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4.01 AVERAGE
4.01 AVERAGE
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
I really liked this memoir, she provides an honest account of BPD, the severe pain, the emptiness and the struggle. But unfortunately I already had knowledge of DBT and the theories behind it, so her discussion of those was irritating for me, but I can understand this background was important for the book, especially for someone who is trying to educate others.
I loved that this book finished hopeful, but not yet complete, that she had made significant progress, but also still had a long way to go, it was refreshing, because that is the truth of most mental illness, and of life, nothing ever goes smoothly and you rarely get the neat ending you hoped for. Nevertheless, this book provides hope. I will definitely be rereading this again.
I loved that this book finished hopeful, but not yet complete, that she had made significant progress, but also still had a long way to go, it was refreshing, because that is the truth of most mental illness, and of life, nothing ever goes smoothly and you rarely get the neat ending you hoped for. Nevertheless, this book provides hope. I will definitely be rereading this again.
adventurous
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
I should have read Buddha and the Borderline ages ago. Seriously. This book is raw, real, and refreshingly honest. I really appreciated how frank the author was about her experiences living with BPD, she doesn’t sugarcoat anything, and that made it all the more powerful. It’s messy, vulnerable, funny at times, and deeply human. An eye-opening read for anyone trying to better understand Borderline Personality Disorder and the lived experience of the healing process.
Buddhism only comes in during the last quarter or so of the book, but given its presence in the title I expected more of it.
Definitely relatable for anyone with BPD or BPD tendencies, and I'm truly admirable of Kiera's drive to stay alive and keep moving forward.
Definitely relatable for anyone with BPD or BPD tendencies, and I'm truly admirable of Kiera's drive to stay alive and keep moving forward.
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
very self indulgent in the way that mental illness memoirs written by white women tend to be
Read the first page and didn't want to read anymore. Slightly triggering and I'm not ready to read about someone's darkest time
emotional
informative
reflective
I have conflicting feelings about this book, which appears to have been evangelised and taken as bible, if it being listed as *the* book on BPD by various community forums *and* shoved down my throat by different medical professionals is evidence enough.
Outside of her exploration of BPD and its DBT treatment, Van Gelder is a poor writer and this book suffers from lack of insight. The title is misleading as she leaves exploring her Buddhist faith till the very end, and has no discernible insight into what, exactly, she draws from it.
The stand out part of this book was her journey to healing via online dating, in which Van Gelder uses multiple dating apps to speed run self harming via sex and dating men only to serve her own need to be validated and cared for, which of course ends miserably each time. (God, I need to remain single).
Above all, I appreciate just how open Van Gelder was about her messiness. The ugliness of her BPD induced distorted thoughts did not cause her to hold back, and her vulnerability is what best allows her to advocate for those with the diagnosis. Like most of the reviews on this book I related heavily at times to her symptoms and deep struggle to identify, accept and try to heal from them.
Being kind to oneself when living with BPD is an alien concept it seems, given that our drive for acceptance is fuelled by an all too familiar feeling of abandonment. We operate on self-flagellation and allow our inward scrutiny to snowball out of control sometimes, as I am coming to learn. Seeing Van Gelder gradually be able to be kinder on and advocate for herself feels rewarding. If there is one thing the book needed to be it was hopeful and not deterministic, without hiding or minimising when the disorder rears its ugly head, which it succeeded at. Van Gelder is able to recognise her various parts of herself, like her six year old self, and nurture them. I absolutely love how she learned to discern which parts of herself - which of her ages - were the trigged self and through that, learn how each self operates and what soothes them.
I am unsure if I would recommended this book to somebody with BPD as eagerly as it was recommended to me, but it wasn’t bad by any means, and I’ll always advocate for reading about various illnesses and disorders from the hands and mouths of people living with them. Books on BPD are often pathologised to the point of encouraging stigma.
Outside of her exploration of BPD and its DBT treatment, Van Gelder is a poor writer and this book suffers from lack of insight. The title is misleading as she leaves exploring her Buddhist faith till the very end, and has no discernible insight into what, exactly, she draws from it.
The stand out part of this book was her journey to healing via online dating, in which Van Gelder uses multiple dating apps to speed run self harming via sex and dating men only to serve her own need to be validated and cared for, which of course ends miserably each time. (God, I need to remain single).
Above all, I appreciate just how open Van Gelder was about her messiness. The ugliness of her BPD induced distorted thoughts did not cause her to hold back, and her vulnerability is what best allows her to advocate for those with the diagnosis. Like most of the reviews on this book I related heavily at times to her symptoms and deep struggle to identify, accept and try to heal from them.
Being kind to oneself when living with BPD is an alien concept it seems, given that our drive for acceptance is fuelled by an all too familiar feeling of abandonment. We operate on self-flagellation and allow our inward scrutiny to snowball out of control sometimes, as I am coming to learn. Seeing Van Gelder gradually be able to be kinder on and advocate for herself feels rewarding. If there is one thing the book needed to be it was hopeful and not deterministic, without hiding or minimising when the disorder rears its ugly head, which it succeeded at. Van Gelder is able to recognise her various parts of herself, like her six year old self, and nurture them. I absolutely love how she learned to discern which parts of herself - which of her ages - were the trigged self and through that, learn how each self operates and what soothes them.
I am unsure if I would recommended this book to somebody with BPD as eagerly as it was recommended to me, but it wasn’t bad by any means, and I’ll always advocate for reading about various illnesses and disorders from the hands and mouths of people living with them. Books on BPD are often pathologised to the point of encouraging stigma.