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3.55 AVERAGE
3.55 AVERAGE
I wanted to like it, but I just don't. There's nothing for me to get hold of. Maybe another time.
funny
lighthearted
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
5 stars; fran is not simply an author, fran is a way of life
for your enjoyment i include an unabridged collection of my favourite lines from the book:
manners
- 'all god's children are not beautiful. most of god's children are, in fact, barely presentable'
children: pro or con?
- 'children sleep either alone or with small toy animals. The wisdom of such behavior is unquestionable, as it frees them from the immeasurable tedium of being privy to the whispered confessions of others'
the right of eminent domain
– 'i, for one, would much rather be punched in the nose than in the sensibility'
digital clocks and pocket calculators
– 'the rigors of learning how to do long division have been a traditional part of childhood, just like learning to smoke. in fact, as far as i’m concerned, the two go hand in hand. any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke. i am really quite a nice girl and am very fond of children but i do have my standards. i have never taught a child to smoke before he has taken a piece of paper and a pencil and demonstrated to my satisfaction that he can correctly divide 163 by 12'
mars: living in a small way
– 'life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep'
food for thought and vice versa
– 'vegetables are interesting, but lack of sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat'
- 'people have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you’re the very first to have thought of adding fresh lime juice to scalp potatoes try to understand that there must be a reason for this'
the sound of music: enough already
- 'there are times when i find myself spending the night in the home of another. frequently the other is in a more reasonable line of work than i and must arise at a specific hour, ofttimes the other, unbeknownst to me, manipulates an appliance in such a way that i am awakened by stevie wonder. on such occasions i announce that if i wished to be awakened by stevie wonder i would sleep with stevie wonder'
letters
– 'if your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies'
parental guidance
– 'never allow your child to call you by your first name. he hasn’t known you long enough'
– 'do not allow your children to mix drinks. it is unseemly and they use too much vermouth'
– 'don’t bother discussing sex with small children. they rarely have anything to add'
– 'never for affect pull a gun on a small child. he won’t get it'
pointers for pet pets
– 'a dog who thinks he is man’s best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer'
diary of a new york apartment hunter
– 'she showed me a room she referred to as the master bath. i asked her where the slaves bathed'
fran lebowitz's travel hints
– '24 hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive. this is indeed disheartening, particularly when you ordered scrambled eggs'
for your enjoyment i include an unabridged collection of my favourite lines from the book:
Spoiler
manners
- 'all god's children are not beautiful. most of god's children are, in fact, barely presentable'
children: pro or con?
- 'children sleep either alone or with small toy animals. The wisdom of such behavior is unquestionable, as it frees them from the immeasurable tedium of being privy to the whispered confessions of others'
the right of eminent domain
– 'i, for one, would much rather be punched in the nose than in the sensibility'
digital clocks and pocket calculators
– 'the rigors of learning how to do long division have been a traditional part of childhood, just like learning to smoke. in fact, as far as i’m concerned, the two go hand in hand. any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke. i am really quite a nice girl and am very fond of children but i do have my standards. i have never taught a child to smoke before he has taken a piece of paper and a pencil and demonstrated to my satisfaction that he can correctly divide 163 by 12'
mars: living in a small way
– 'life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep'
food for thought and vice versa
– 'vegetables are interesting, but lack of sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat'
- 'people have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you’re the very first to have thought of adding fresh lime juice to scalp potatoes try to understand that there must be a reason for this'
the sound of music: enough already
- 'there are times when i find myself spending the night in the home of another. frequently the other is in a more reasonable line of work than i and must arise at a specific hour, ofttimes the other, unbeknownst to me, manipulates an appliance in such a way that i am awakened by stevie wonder. on such occasions i announce that if i wished to be awakened by stevie wonder i would sleep with stevie wonder'
letters
– 'if your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies'
parental guidance
– 'never allow your child to call you by your first name. he hasn’t known you long enough'
– 'do not allow your children to mix drinks. it is unseemly and they use too much vermouth'
– 'don’t bother discussing sex with small children. they rarely have anything to add'
– 'never for affect pull a gun on a small child. he won’t get it'
pointers for pet pets
– 'a dog who thinks he is man’s best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer'
diary of a new york apartment hunter
– 'she showed me a room she referred to as the master bath. i asked her where the slaves bathed'
fran lebowitz's travel hints
– '24 hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive. this is indeed disheartening, particularly when you ordered scrambled eggs'
funny
lighthearted
Lebowitz is sardonic and wry in all the best ways. While I enjoyed many of the essays in this collection, some sections felt like a slog. I think Lebowitz is best read little and often, rather than in one large compendium; you notice repeated jokes and crutches she relies upon for easy laughs when you’re reading so many essays in a row. Regardless, this was still a lot of fun to dip in and out of.
Closer to 2.5. Often humorous but sometimes Lebowitz and her essays are too clever by half. A lot of it is that a lot of what was once considered to be very funny in 1978 (barbs about trans persons; an entire essay mocking child sexual abuse through the lens of a gay Sherlock Holmes and Watson) is justifiably reprehensible to modern tastes, including my own.
Fun but sometimes all I could think was: "Who cares?"