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jess_pars's review against another edition
4.0
V, formerly Eve Ensler, is by far my favorite playwright and one of my favorite activists. This book is the perfect expansion of her previous work. The Apology is one of those books that beautifully lives in both realms of perfectly personal and unique to V’s experience and also perfectly universal and relatable to so many people throughout the world. While V in the past has shared so many of other women’s stories in The Apology she digs deep into her own in order to heal her inner child.
pattydsf's review against another edition
3.0
“Each admission here defies a blood vow determined long before my birth. An apologist is a traitor of the highest order. How many men, how many fathers ever admit to failures or offenses? The act itself is a betrayal of the basic code. It sprays shrapnel of guilt in all directions. If one of us is wrong, the whole structure and story come tumbling down. Our silence is our bond. The power of not telling, of not letting on, is the most ancient and powerful weapon in our arsenal.”
I am still trying to get my head around this book. I don’t remember exactly where I first encountered it, but this book was displayed at my public library and it caught my eye. I know I had read something about it, so Ensler’s words should not have surprised me. But, they did.
How does someone sit down and attempt to craft an apology from their abuser? Who wants to walk around in those shoes? In an interview with Ron Charles, Ensler says, “I didn’t want to climb into my father,” Ensler admits. “I didn’t want to know what was inside my father. It was too painful.” (https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/books/eve-ensler-waited-decades-for-an-apology-from-her-abusive-father-she-finally-wrote-one-herself/2019/05/10/3dd19a00-7343-11e9-8be0-ca575670e91c_story.html) I can understand wanting the admission of guilt and an act of contrition. I can understand wanting revenge for that matter. I get stuck when I think about trying to come up with an explanation by myself for myself.
Once I realized exactly what Ensler is trying to do with this book, I slowed down and read carefully. In many ways this was hard to read. Even with Ensler’s explication of her father’s behavior, my brain could not absorb everything Ensler wrote. I have no life experience that makes her father’s behavior possible. In my head I know there are bad people, but someone sexually, verbally and physically abusing their own daughter is an evil I don’t want to acknowledge.
Although this is written to help victims of abuse, I am sure there are some survivors who will not be able to read this book. Readers should tread cautiously as they read this.
Ensler says that she wrote this book for both men and women. In the interview with Charles, she stated, “But I really haven’t heard one man make a true, thorough, public accounting: an apology for what he’s done, reflecting any self-interrogation, reflecting that he went back into therapy or worked with his clergy or looked into himself to figure out what the seeds of this are.” I only hope that someday some man is willing to do what Ensler is asking for. I am not holding my breath.
I am still trying to get my head around this book. I don’t remember exactly where I first encountered it, but this book was displayed at my public library and it caught my eye. I know I had read something about it, so Ensler’s words should not have surprised me. But, they did.
How does someone sit down and attempt to craft an apology from their abuser? Who wants to walk around in those shoes? In an interview with Ron Charles, Ensler says, “I didn’t want to climb into my father,” Ensler admits. “I didn’t want to know what was inside my father. It was too painful.” (https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/books/eve-ensler-waited-decades-for-an-apology-from-her-abusive-father-she-finally-wrote-one-herself/2019/05/10/3dd19a00-7343-11e9-8be0-ca575670e91c_story.html) I can understand wanting the admission of guilt and an act of contrition. I can understand wanting revenge for that matter. I get stuck when I think about trying to come up with an explanation by myself for myself.
Once I realized exactly what Ensler is trying to do with this book, I slowed down and read carefully. In many ways this was hard to read. Even with Ensler’s explication of her father’s behavior, my brain could not absorb everything Ensler wrote. I have no life experience that makes her father’s behavior possible. In my head I know there are bad people, but someone sexually, verbally and physically abusing their own daughter is an evil I don’t want to acknowledge.
Although this is written to help victims of abuse, I am sure there are some survivors who will not be able to read this book. Readers should tread cautiously as they read this.
Ensler says that she wrote this book for both men and women. In the interview with Charles, she stated, “But I really haven’t heard one man make a true, thorough, public accounting: an apology for what he’s done, reflecting any self-interrogation, reflecting that he went back into therapy or worked with his clergy or looked into himself to figure out what the seeds of this are.” I only hope that someday some man is willing to do what Ensler is asking for. I am not holding my breath.
soupwitch86's review against another edition
4.0
This was a necessary book. Tough to read at times because one, there were descriptions of sexual, physical, emotional, and mental abuse. And also because I knew this came from the author herself, so I knew she was writing what she needed to hear, and that level of vulnerability kind of blew me away.
This is a necessary book, I think for people who need an apology, and for those that need to give them (and aren't we always in both camps, anyway?). Also, this was an apology for an abusive father to daughter, but it really serves as a template for any person with privilege to be accountable to others.
Now I want to write a version of this for a few people that were/are in my life.
This is a necessary book, I think for people who need an apology, and for those that need to give them (and aren't we always in both camps, anyway?). Also, this was an apology for an abusive father to daughter, but it really serves as a template for any person with privilege to be accountable to others.
Now I want to write a version of this for a few people that were/are in my life.
giottoblue's review against another edition
5.0
Nauseating and impossibly difficult to read, but brilliant.
cadefritz's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Child abuse, and Sexual assault
elired's review against another edition
5.0
This may be short but it is definitely not an easy read. It’s equal parts horrifying and beautiful.
goda_kazl's review against another edition
5.0
Kartais, kad ir kokia iškalbinga bebūtum, kad ir kokį platų žodyną turėtum tos įvairovės neužtenka išsakyti žodžiais tam ką jauti. Skaitant šią knygą aš tuos žodžius susirinkau. Žinot kai būna tokie ‘klikt’ momentai? Tarsi dejavu jausmas? Tokių momentų kai pagalvojau “taip, būtent” ir “čia apie mane” buvo daug. Jau 15 psl riedėjo ašaros. Žinoma, vėlesniuose puslapiuose supratau, kad istorija apie daug žiauresnę patirtį negu mano. Ši knyga yra savotiška terapija. Jaučiau vienu metu ir palengvėjimą, priklausymo, supratimo, priėmimo jausmą ir visą apimantį troškimą išgirsti tą “atsiprašau”. Autorė neprašovė su dedikacija. Galiu kalbėti tik už save, bet nuojauta kužda, kad dauguma individų, kurie buvo traumuoti, įskaudinti artimų asmenų trokšta atsiprašymo. Deja, jo sulaukti iš skausmo sukelėjų nėra tikėtina. Šią knygą rekomenduoju visoms ir visiems, kurie buvo skaudinti, žeminti, traumuoti. Ir nesvarbu ar psichologiškai, ar fiziškai, ar lytiškai. Skausmas nėra kažkas ką galima lyginti, čia ne vieta konkurencijai, o ir konkursų nevyksta. Juk skausmas neturi matų. Ar galima litrais matuoti išlietas ašaras? Decibelais pamatuoti raudas ir kukčiojimus? Kaip pamatuoti begarsius klyksmus? Ne, tai neįmanoma. Linkiu skaityti, įsikvėpti ir parašyti tuos atsiprašymus sau. Galbūt neiškart. Galbūt po savaitės, po metų. Kai jausitės pasiruošusios ar pasiruošę. O kitoms skaitytojoms/ kitiems skaitytojams rekomenduoju, kad suprastumėt ar bent priartėtumėt prie supratimo. Labai gerai yra skaityti knygas su gausia statistika, šviestis. Tačiau labai svarbu skaityti ir tokias jautrias , atviras istorijas, kad atsirastų suvokimas apie ką minėti skaičiai kalba. Be tokių knygų, istorijų lengva pasimesti tarp skaičių, jų neįvertinti, apie smurto statistiką galvoti tik apie kaip bereikšmius skaičius. Tačiau čia ne ekonomikos paskaita. Čia ne vieta pragmatikai. Tie skaičiai kalba apie gyvus žmones, sugriautus gyvenimus, jie žymi tokias moteris kaip Eve Ensler ir jų istorijas. Beje tekstas parašytas proziškai, poetiškai. Labai malonu buvo skaityti. Žaviuosi ir gerbiu asmenis, kurie geba iš savo patirtų neteisybių, jaučiamo skausmo sukurti kažką gero, gražaus ar šiuo atveju keičiančio pasaulį.