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3.69 AVERAGE
3.69 AVERAGE
2.5 stars. I’m a sucker for memoirs and love being a fly on the wall. ( I discovered showtimes couple’s therapy and eagerly await for season 2.) However, this memoir (while readable) just didn’t work for me. I wanted to shake the author. I applaud the therapist for allowing group members to live their lives without interfering (or shaking some sense in them). While I’m a huge advocate for therapy, I prefer books/memoirs that allow me to feel a variety of emotions, not just frustration.
So many mixed feelings about this book. It kept swinging between two stars and five stars for me. Some parts were deeply uncomfortable for me - the therapist seems more than eccentric and unconventional; he seems downright abusive and unethical, with a God complex to boot. The most obviously egregious transgression is having two patients in a relationship with each other and both getting counseled for the relationship - and this situation happened TWICE for good measure. For this cringey-ness, I would not outright recommend the book to anyone.
That said, if you are willing to read those parts of it, there are other parts of the narrative that are interesting, thought provoking, and compelling without making you recoil in horror. I'm super attracted to the idea of group therapy (which is really what my mom's group was, I now realize, with hindsight) and there were clearly some healthy aspects in the author's treatment. Overall: I'm glad I read this book.
That said, if you are willing to read those parts of it, there are other parts of the narrative that are interesting, thought provoking, and compelling without making you recoil in horror. I'm super attracted to the idea of group therapy (which is really what my mom's group was, I now realize, with hindsight) and there were clearly some healthy aspects in the author's treatment. Overall: I'm glad I read this book.
I plopped myself down on the couch one Friday evening and opened Christie Tate's debut memoir Group. I didn't get up again that night until I had finished it.
Tate's account of her life-changing years of group therapy in New York City riveted me. Luckily I had nowhere else to be, because I couldn't have stopped if I tried! That's not to say I agreed with everything she or her psychotherapist Dr. Rosen said and did--radical honesty and truth telling as others bear witness was his prescription, along with questionable "homework" outside of the room. But how it worked to open up Tate to intimacy and openness and connection to others was fascinating. Foul-mouthed and funny, Tate spins a self-deprecating--at times heartbreaking--and raw, candid tale filled with insights into herself and her emotional process. Best of all, it ends on a note of healing and hope. If you are a person, like me, who likes to get inside the therapist's office and bear witness to folks doing the work (I loved Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and Good Morning Monster) I predict you'll find this one addicting, too!
Tate's account of her life-changing years of group therapy in New York City riveted me. Luckily I had nowhere else to be, because I couldn't have stopped if I tried! That's not to say I agreed with everything she or her psychotherapist Dr. Rosen said and did--radical honesty and truth telling as others bear witness was his prescription, along with questionable "homework" outside of the room. But how it worked to open up Tate to intimacy and openness and connection to others was fascinating. Foul-mouthed and funny, Tate spins a self-deprecating--at times heartbreaking--and raw, candid tale filled with insights into herself and her emotional process. Best of all, it ends on a note of healing and hope. If you are a person, like me, who likes to get inside the therapist's office and bear witness to folks doing the work (I loved Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and Good Morning Monster) I predict you'll find this one addicting, too!
I absolutely loved this book. When I finished reading it, I immediately searched a group therapy place in my town because it felt like something that could help me too. (Ultimately I am not going into a group anything during a pandemic and the first person that came up was my husband's cousin's mother in law #smalltownprobs.) But it was just so interesting to see how group worked for Christie and to watch her through the process. Even when things seemed fine, she still went and worked out things.
I came back to downgrade my rating and write why, which I have never done. I think that while it was entertaining, I just find it so concerning that people unfamiliar with therapy might read this book and think that this is what therapy is normally like and choose not to go. If you are thinking about therapy and want to read someone’s experience, you should read Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottleib instead for a better view of what normal therapy is like.
I wanted to be completely head-over-heels for this book and wanted to tell everyone I know to read it.
But...
As a therapist who primarily does group therapy, there were many things that came across as red flags regarding ethics, boundaries, and confidentiality. I will never talk down something that appeared to have a profound impact on someone’s mental health; however, I fear that this view and model of therapy may be seen as what all therapy is and could not help us in the fight to end stigmas regarding therapy.
I want to discuss this book with other mental health professionals to gain a better understanding of their views.
But...
As a therapist who primarily does group therapy, there were many things that came across as red flags regarding ethics, boundaries, and confidentiality. I will never talk down something that appeared to have a profound impact on someone’s mental health; however, I fear that this view and model of therapy may be seen as what all therapy is and could not help us in the fight to end stigmas regarding therapy.
I want to discuss this book with other mental health professionals to gain a better understanding of their views.
An enthralling, harrowing, and relatable portrait of mental illness, love, friendship, and ambition.
Enjoyable read with heartbreaking and laugh out loud moments
This was a frustrating read. I am conflicted on my review.
I appreciated the author's journey throughout the book. It was interesting to see her realize certain aspects of her therapy and healing. Seeing all her relationships and how she handled things ebb and flow. Seeing her look back into her life for moments that shaped her views. All of that was the part of this book I enjoyed. Looking in on yourself, challenging your views, trying to reframe things, and learn is quite a journey for anyone to take. I enjoyed how much she opened herself up, to going through this journey with her and seeing the good and bad.
But, some of that journey was hard to read through. There were definitely times I was more annoyed than anything. There were a lot of contradictions that again were difficult to read through. I think a part of me balked at the importance and weight that being in a romantic relationship felt to the author and everyone involved.
I put this as 3 stars but not 100% sure that is my final rating. Should this be 4? I don't know. I think what this book did well was put you in the conflict so thoroughly it became a problem. You were living this with the author and that discomfort was part of it. But that discomfort and conflict made the book hard to enjoy at times. But therapy can be that way most days.
I appreciated the author's journey throughout the book. It was interesting to see her realize certain aspects of her therapy and healing. Seeing all her relationships and how she handled things ebb and flow. Seeing her look back into her life for moments that shaped her views. All of that was the part of this book I enjoyed. Looking in on yourself, challenging your views, trying to reframe things, and learn is quite a journey for anyone to take. I enjoyed how much she opened herself up, to going through this journey with her and seeing the good and bad.
But, some of that journey was hard to read through. There were definitely times I was more annoyed than anything. There were a lot of contradictions that again were difficult to read through. I think a part of me balked at the importance and weight that being in a romantic relationship felt to the author and everyone involved.
I put this as 3 stars but not 100% sure that is my final rating. Should this be 4? I don't know. I think what this book did well was put you in the conflict so thoroughly it became a problem. You were living this with the author and that discomfort was part of it. But that discomfort and conflict made the book hard to enjoy at times. But therapy can be that way most days.