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3.69 AVERAGE
3.69 AVERAGE
I really enjoy someone letting it all hang out. The honesty of Tate's writing was beautiful (and painful st times) and a delight to take in.
This feels like a dangerous misrepresentation of what healthy therapy is. The manipulation, co-dependency, and boundary crossing described in this book seem more like cult worship than a setting for personal growth and acceptance. The fact that Dr. Rosen has not had his license revoked is baffling.
Up until a few years ago, I didn't care for nonfiction at all. Then I picked up a memoir and was hooked. I love memoirs written by "normal" people about their lives. It's like getting a peek inside for just a moment to see how other people live. Getting to know them, their story, and hearing their perspective is just so fascinating and important.
This memoir is the story of a law student who is deeply unhappy with her life. So much so that the entire first few pages describes how much she wishes for death. She hears from a friend about therapy - specifically group therapy - and decides to give it a try.
What follows is her journey through the things that are holding her back from having the life she wants and the sometimes hilarious ways she follows the advice of the group and the therapist.
This is a story about forming bonds with other humans and why that is one of the most important things we can do.
Oddly, this book made me want to try group therapy.
This memoir is the story of a law student who is deeply unhappy with her life. So much so that the entire first few pages describes how much she wishes for death. She hears from a friend about therapy - specifically group therapy - and decides to give it a try.
What follows is her journey through the things that are holding her back from having the life she wants and the sometimes hilarious ways she follows the advice of the group and the therapist.
This is a story about forming bonds with other humans and why that is one of the most important things we can do.
Oddly, this book made me want to try group therapy.
hopeful
informative
inspiring
challenging
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Moderate: Eating disorder, Self harm
There are lines in this book so disturbing, the stick in my head.
Where to start? I knew I would have significant ethical concerns about the therapy style presented in this book, so I tried to just focus on Christie Tate's story, however, the confidentiality issues were so ingrained in the story that by part 2, I could no longer avoid processing my thoughts about them. I'm not sure how to rate this book due to this.
Readability? 4 stars
Engagement? 4 stars
Ethical Concerns? 0 stars
Dr. Rosen operates under the idea that secrets are toxic because they increase shame and prevent you from dealing with your emotions. Okay sure, your own secrets are toxic. But I fail to see how having to keep another group member's information private is toxic for you? Is not your secret, so how is that creating problems for you other than you having to practice not being a busybody gossip? So basically, all of Rosen's many groups become a network of gossip. Not following the therapeutic value there. I mean maybe he was a bit ahead of his time and trying to prepare people for what going viral might feel like? Sigh.
One of Christie's boyfriends asks her not to share information bout him in the group. Now, obviously this wasn't good for her, but who could blame the guy when there wasn't any confidentiality? Not only are they sharing their own stories (which they obviously signed consent to do, assuming Dr. Rosen didn't throw that out the window too), they are also sharing the stories of anyone who is in their lives. Those people did NOT sign a consent to have their information shared, and now their business is potentially out there for all of Rosen's groups.
Also, there are no boundaries in these groups. He gives assignments for the some group members to call each other EVERY DAY. Goodness it all just sounds exhausting. But it worked for her and must be working for the people who choose to pay him ridiculous sums of money. I must also note that Dr. Rosen must have a very busy calendar based on the number of personal events he attended for his clients outside of his work.
And lastly, I had trouble with how long it took to address her concept of "If I'm not in a committed relationship, then something is wrong with me." She got there eventually, but why wasn't that more directly addressed in all those years? Maybe, Tate just didn't write about that. But when she's in the "advanced" group and still saying "I'll give this group 6 months, and if I'm not in a relationship then I'm quitting." that seems like the perfect time to address the issue.
I'm not rating this book because I want to be fair to the author. My issues aren't with her. I'm glad she found help and was able to work through her traumas. It is wonderful that she continues to put a focus on her mental health. If you are considering seeking help, please know mental health providers are governed by a code of ethics that MANDATE confidentiality and groups also require confidentiality, so you can feel secure.
One final note: if you want everyone to know your business, try social media, it's much cheaper.
Readability? 4 stars
Engagement? 4 stars
Ethical Concerns? 0 stars
Dr. Rosen operates under the idea that secrets are toxic because they increase shame and prevent you from dealing with your emotions. Okay sure, your own secrets are toxic. But I fail to see how having to keep another group member's information private is toxic for you? Is not your secret, so how is that creating problems for you other than you having to practice not being a busybody gossip? So basically, all of Rosen's many groups become a network of gossip. Not following the therapeutic value there. I mean maybe he was a bit ahead of his time and trying to prepare people for what going viral might feel like? Sigh.
One of Christie's boyfriends asks her not to share information bout him in the group. Now, obviously this wasn't good for her, but who could blame the guy when there wasn't any confidentiality? Not only are they sharing their own stories (which they obviously signed consent to do, assuming Dr. Rosen didn't throw that out the window too), they are also sharing the stories of anyone who is in their lives. Those people did NOT sign a consent to have their information shared, and now their business is potentially out there for all of Rosen's groups.
Also, there are no boundaries in these groups. He gives assignments for the some group members to call each other EVERY DAY. Goodness it all just sounds exhausting. But it worked for her and must be working for the people who choose to pay him ridiculous sums of money. I must also note that Dr. Rosen must have a very busy calendar based on the number of personal events he attended for his clients outside of his work.
And lastly, I had trouble with how long it took to address her concept of "If I'm not in a committed relationship, then something is wrong with me." She got there eventually, but why wasn't that more directly addressed in all those years? Maybe, Tate just didn't write about that. But when she's in the "advanced" group and still saying "I'll give this group 6 months, and if I'm not in a relationship then I'm quitting." that seems like the perfect time to address the issue.
I'm not rating this book because I want to be fair to the author. My issues aren't with her. I'm glad she found help and was able to work through her traumas. It is wonderful that she continues to put a focus on her mental health. If you are considering seeking help, please know mental health providers are governed by a code of ethics that MANDATE confidentiality and groups also require confidentiality, so you can feel secure.
One final note: if you want everyone to know your business, try social media, it's much cheaper.
I liked the Chicago-ness and it felt like being a voyeur, but I couldn’t empathize with her process (although understand her macro concerns); felt like we missed understanding more about her fuller life.