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3.69 AVERAGE
3.69 AVERAGE
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
slow-paced
The reviews for this book vary wildly. Despite a few minor issues, I couldn't put it down. Christine is completely transparent with all of the messiness of her therapeutic journey, and I found it really engaging. Many readers take issue with the lack of confidentiality in the group setting, but I didn't have strong feelings about it; it was voluntary, and it seemed to work well for her. I wish that she had elaborated on some of the relationships with the members of the groups.
This is a fun read; however, I want to note that I’m a group therapist and the group therapy portrayed here is HIGHLY unorthodox. I like to note that in case it would scare people away from group therapy, which IS a highly effective modality of therapy. Group therapy is typically far more boundaried and contained than portrayed here. The therapy portrayed here crossed multiple ethical lines.
This is definitely very readable, well-written and often fascinating. It’s a tell-all memoir that lays bare all the ups and downs of five years of group therapy, with the issues of the other group members occasionally thrown in as well. The basic belief is that all secrets are toxic, so there’s no confidentiality in this group – which raises my eyebrows a bit.
All this makes for a very juicy, fast-moving, highly personal narrative. The author’s whole reason for treatment is that she wants to have healthy relationships, and so a lot of the book is dedicated to her going through man after man, and each one being a dud – until finally, someone good comes along at the end of the book.
Well, okay. It doesn’t seem like the best way to measure success in life, but it was presented as the path that this woman chose to take, and her therapist and other group members supported it and helped her. They taught her to express anger, to say no, and to name and admit her feelings. The therapist, a very unconventional guy, is presented as a sort of elfish guru who constantly annoys her, but is always right at the end. It all strikes me as slightly cultish, I have to say.
All this makes for a very juicy, fast-moving, highly personal narrative. The author’s whole reason for treatment is that she wants to have healthy relationships, and so a lot of the book is dedicated to her going through man after man, and each one being a dud – until finally, someone good comes along at the end of the book.
Well, okay. It doesn’t seem like the best way to measure success in life, but it was presented as the path that this woman chose to take, and her therapist and other group members supported it and helped her. They taught her to express anger, to say no, and to name and admit her feelings. The therapist, a very unconventional guy, is presented as a sort of elfish guru who constantly annoys her, but is always right at the end. It all strikes me as slightly cultish, I have to say.
Zero stars. Not impressed, I actually DNF. I went to law school. But I didn't have a size D cup, and I wasn't first on my class. I'm not saying those are related but ... also, I could never find a decent guy either so instead of paying an ungodly amount in therapy, I learned to be happy on own.
I'm not making light of mental illness and suicidal ideation, but many people have serious mental issues that a group can help. I know people who have been tremendously helped by group therapy - for serious problems, not just whining about their sex life.
I'm not making light of mental illness and suicidal ideation, but many people have serious mental issues that a group can help. I know people who have been tremendously helped by group therapy - for serious problems, not just whining about their sex life.
Christine Tate goes into group therapy for her bulimia and intimacy issues. Over the course of her first 7 years she learns so much about relationships with food, women, men and sex. This one unpacks a lot.
This book made me confident that dying alone is the right fit for my life.
If nothing else, reading it was worth it for that.
If nothing else, reading it was worth it for that.
adventurous
reflective
slow-paced
I picked this book since I work in the field and thought it would be an interesting read. I loved that the reader found therapy to be helpful and was willing to share her journey. What I did not like about this book was the therapist. I feel like he crosses so many boundaries and at times I just wanted to stop reading because I just couldn't hear anymore. I ended up finishing the book, but it was definitely not one of my favorites and wouldn't be something I recommend to a friend.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual content
Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life, by Christie Tate, is a tell-all memoir that reads like a novel, except not as well honed. She is searching for a relationship and we get to go through several of her relationships before she gets to the one. One of these relationships, unconsummated, is with a married man she meets in one of the groups. There are no secrets in her group/groups or even between groups, she advances to a second group then a third, which feels extreme and unbelievable! No confidentiality between groups does not seem like the best therapeutic approach, although she marries and her engagement ring has stones that represent the members of her group. I've been in group therapy and it was nothing like her groups, and of that I am glad.
A couple of quotes:
"If you can learn to tolerate fear and let go of trying to fix her anger, you will be ready for an intimate relationship."
"When you agree to keep someone's secret, you hold their shame."
A couple of quotes:
"If you can learn to tolerate fear and let go of trying to fix her anger, you will be ready for an intimate relationship."
"When you agree to keep someone's secret, you hold their shame."
On one hand, this was a really interesting read about one woman’s process of healing. I appreciated her vulnerability in discussing her emotional challenges and the ways she overcame things, particularly her relationship with food and to others. However, as a therapist myself, YIKES. Man, I don’t know who gave this guy a license but so many issues around ethics, boundaries, and confidentiality here. Of course, this is just the author’s retelling who knows what actually happened BUT if this therapist is truly how she depicts, this is a big no from me. It almost feels like this was written for TV by someone who knows nothing about the therapeutic process but what’s scary is that this is someone’s account of her actual therapy. Entertaining? Yes. Realistic of group therapy? Not at all. My problem is not with the author’s writing style, I found her to be engaging and relatable. Rather my issue is the normalization of unethical therapy practices.