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kingtess's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I've read a lot of nonfiction about how to foster healthy romantic relationships.
This one feels different in that it actually acknowledges the work others have done: Drs. John and Julie Gottman, Dr. Brene Brown, Esther Perel, and many more. Dr. Nasserzadeh builds on those ideas while adding several of her own. She successfully synthesizes all sorts of research and theories about romantic relationships into one holistic book, which is impressive.
I outright learned some things despite my prior familiarity with the topic, and learned how to see a few concepts differently (the chapter on respect was eye-opening).
Honestly, I regret reading this as an audiobook, since I couldn't highlight various passages, or simply pause and reread a sentence over and over. There's so much in here that I know will need to sink in slowly over time.
That's why I'll be buying a print copy as well!
This one feels different in that it actually acknowledges the work others have done: Drs. John and Julie Gottman, Dr. Brene Brown, Esther Perel, and many more. Dr. Nasserzadeh builds on those ideas while adding several of her own. She successfully synthesizes all sorts of research and theories about romantic relationships into one holistic book, which is impressive.
I outright learned some things despite my prior familiarity with the topic, and learned how to see a few concepts differently (the chapter on respect was eye-opening).
Honestly, I regret reading this as an audiobook, since I couldn't highlight various passages, or simply pause and reread a sentence over and over. There's so much in here that I know will need to sink in slowly over time.
That's why I'll be buying a print copy as well!
sallysimply's review against another edition
4.0
After starting bell hooks' All About Love, I've been curious to read more books about love and relationships that are written by women and not based on gender essentialism or rooted in patriarchy. On that front, this book certainly fits the bill. I appreciate that even non-monogamy is mentioned a few times (though not explicitly addressed in any way whatsoever -- depending on the parameters of your poly relationships, the advice here could be largely applicable but some or a lot of it might not be).
I'm not really the intended audience for this book, as it is certainly geared more towards folks who are actively in crisis or trying to avoid it. My partnership feels quite solid at the moment and we already do some version of a lot of the advice here. That said, there were also exercises, prompts, and ideas that I valued and appreciated. I'm excited to incorporate them going forward or keep them in the back of my mind if/when there is conflict in my relationships.
I'm not quite sure what it is about this book that rubbed me the wrong way at times. Perhaps it was the fact that it still felt very cishet and monogamy oriented even though it mentions other types of relationships? Or the fact that, within the context of this book, asexuality barely exists and aromanticism certainly does not exist? (I was certainly perplexed when the author mentioned that all of the ingredients could apply to any relationship but that "loving behaviors" were somehow exclusive to romantic partners. Huh?? Yeah, no, ALL of these things could be applied to all relationships, the author simply chose to not write a book that applies to all relationships. Which is fine! She doesn't need to do that, but none of these are exclusive to romantic partnerships.) Or maybe it's as simple as not being the audience for it? I don't know.
If you're the type of person who is able to read through something, pick up what resonates, and leave the rest, you'll likely get something out of this book.
I'm not really the intended audience for this book, as it is certainly geared more towards folks who are actively in crisis or trying to avoid it. My partnership feels quite solid at the moment and we already do some version of a lot of the advice here. That said, there were also exercises, prompts, and ideas that I valued and appreciated. I'm excited to incorporate them going forward or keep them in the back of my mind if/when there is conflict in my relationships.
I'm not quite sure what it is about this book that rubbed me the wrong way at times. Perhaps it was the fact that it still felt very cishet and monogamy oriented even though it mentions other types of relationships? Or the fact that, within the context of this book, asexuality barely exists and aromanticism certainly does not exist? (I was certainly perplexed when the author mentioned that all of the ingredients could apply to any relationship but that "loving behaviors" were somehow exclusive to romantic partners. Huh?? Yeah, no, ALL of these things could be applied to all relationships, the author simply chose to not write a book that applies to all relationships. Which is fine! She doesn't need to do that, but none of these are exclusive to romantic partnerships.) Or maybe it's as simple as not being the audience for it? I don't know.
If you're the type of person who is able to read through something, pick up what resonates, and leave the rest, you'll likely get something out of this book.
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