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traingirl24's review against another edition
3.0
Ouf that was a rough listen. Would not recommend it if you’re feeling especially dysphoric cause there’s a lot of trauma and it’ll mess you up for a while. One day I’ll learn to not stoke the anxiety flames while spiralling, but apparently, today is not that day.
But if you are in a decent place, it’s a powerfully written essay. Speaking to the constant fear of basically everyone and everything when you are trans. How misogyny, transphobia, or violence can come from anyone, even in queer spaces that are supposed to be safe.
The bit about also being afraid of the ‘man’ you used to be was pretty poignant. When you’ve experienced the fear of transmisogyny, the thought that you could hurt someone else the same way and that you continue to strike that fear into others when presenting as male in public is unbearable. You can’t even retreat inside yourself to feel safe because you’re just as dangerous to be around.
I feel like the question that’s asked when you read things like this as a trans woman is how to move on and live life with these fears and dangers. It’s tempting to try to convince yourself that it couldn’t happen to you, that you’re just catastrophizing, but it’s not. There are real dangers out there and a lot of the world isn’t safe for trans people. I don’t have an answer, it’s probably more of a continual process than any one thing, acknowledging the dangers and taking steps to mitigate/avoid the worst while making space for joy in your life, but it is important work to do.
But if you are in a decent place, it’s a powerfully written essay. Speaking to the constant fear of basically everyone and everything when you are trans. How misogyny, transphobia, or violence can come from anyone, even in queer spaces that are supposed to be safe.
The bit about also being afraid of the ‘man’ you used to be was pretty poignant. When you’ve experienced the fear of transmisogyny, the thought that you could hurt someone else the same way and that you continue to strike that fear into others when presenting as male in public is unbearable. You can’t even retreat inside yourself to feel safe because you’re just as dangerous to be around.
I feel like the question that’s asked when you read things like this as a trans woman is how to move on and live life with these fears and dangers. It’s tempting to try to convince yourself that it couldn’t happen to you, that you’re just catastrophizing, but it’s not. There are real dangers out there and a lot of the world isn’t safe for trans people. I don’t have an answer, it’s probably more of a continual process than any one thing, acknowledging the dangers and taking steps to mitigate/avoid the worst while making space for joy in your life, but it is important work to do.
sinead_foxworthy's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
5.0
irenecas's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
slow-paced
3.5
The first sentence of this book resonated so much: I´m afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear.
It´s a collection of thoughts and experiences from the author that are tough to read. I could see how some women rated this book so low for some things the author mentions at the end, but overall I think I learnt a lot about how is the reality of a trans person.
It´s a collection of thoughts and experiences from the author that are tough to read. I could see how some women rated this book so low for some things the author mentions at the end, but overall I think I learnt a lot about how is the reality of a trans person.
hania_027's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
Im Afraid of Men and all that comes in a world that loves masculinity.
This book left me thinking about my past experiences with men, whether it was related to something violent or "good". A quick read but also reflective and honestly, if youre upset by the title, read it.
This book left me thinking about my past experiences with men, whether it was related to something violent or "good". A quick read but also reflective and honestly, if youre upset by the title, read it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Homophobia, Sexism, Sexual harassment, and Transphobia
sawyercook's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0