Reviews with content warning for Sexism - I'm Afraid of Men

Reviews tagging 'Sexism'

I'm Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya

23 reviews

hania_027's review against another edition

emotional informative reflective fast-paced

5.0

Im Afraid of Men and all that comes in a world that loves masculinity.

This book left me thinking about my past experiences with men, whether it was related to something violent or "good". A quick read but also reflective and honestly, if youre upset by the title, read it.

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shelvesofivy's review against another edition

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reflective medium-paced

5.0

I can't recommend this book enough, regardless of who you are. I listened to the audiobook, which was read by the author and, in my opinion, highlighted her way with words.

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lucystolethesky's review against another edition

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reflective fast-paced

4.5

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eve81's review against another edition

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challenging emotional informative reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

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zombiezami's review against another edition

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challenging informative reflective sad fast-paced

4.0

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nickthebooktoker's review against another edition

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inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

4.25

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orchidd's review against another edition

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informative fast-paced

3.0

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sadgirlsidney's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad fast-paced

4.0

Raw, horrific at times, and as a CIS woman definitely relatable to a certain extent.

What caught me off guard was hearing my hometown and finding out the author also grew up there. Suddenly it felt so much more personal, like did I go to the same school as them? Did the same people bully us? Makes for a different kind of atmospheric experience when it’s suddenly a setting you’ve lived in and you’re picturing certain places that Vivek’s stories trigger.

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clemrain's review

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challenging dark informative fast-paced

3.0

At the beginning of I’m Afraid of Men, I wasn’t impressed. Because when picking up a feminist piece from a trans author, I was expecting a trans perspective. A lot of what was being said, wrote like cliches of a cis women’s experience. We eventually did dive into the Trans experience, which was emphasized as a unique experience of Shraya. What I was looking for in this book. When we reach the end of the book, I was challenged as a feminine reader to also reflect on myself. The potential to create fear that I hold, and what rolling my eyes on the cliche of the beginning of this book means.

I wanted to see how the world shifts when living like and being seen as a man changes to accepting and being a woman. The answer is, from what I take from Shraya, it doesn’t change much. If you’re a woman at heart, you entire existence is exposed to the little misogynies in the world. And even as a man, you still experience the fall out. Because though the hatred stems from the stereotype built around femininity, the hurt is intended for anyone that partakes in it.

Race also blending into misogyny is a valid point, though I think this point took the back burner in this story. We had a small call back to it at the end, of reclaiming the goddesses and feminine spaces. However, the point wasn’t strong and fell apart as preaching rather than a firm conclusion and concept.

I think the story could’ve tightened itself to specifics. So that the ideas that were presented would’ve had more structure. The writing needed an edit on redundancy and purple prose. I want to give the melodrama of it a pass, because after all it’s such a personal piece. But I when the melodrama takes over the point, we get caught up in the nothingness rather than be delivered the point. I found myself asking a lot, what’s the point? Though I found the answer, it often needed a lot of a work from me. And then the lesson in this books doesn’t work for those who need it. It just works for those that already agree with it.

The vulnerability of this is astounding. There’s a balance of what should be shameful and the presentation of its regularity. Being open about the shaping of sexuality is difficult to read and I’m sure harder to write. There was no asking for pity or empathy. Just a presentation of thoughts, actions and a question of origin. These qualities make the memoir easy to read and only helps what is being said. This is normal, and it’s born from so much more than just us.

I like the poetics of You and Me. And the conclusion of “us”.

Do I think this book had anything new to say to me? Not every page did. Those that did, gave me new thought. In the details. That doesn’t make this a worthless read. But that’s me. Though if you’re well versed in feminist literature, it might not be a necessary read.

For those that are new to understanding this book’s message and have the patience for it—this is a good start.

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mattiedancer's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

Writing: 5⭐️/5

The writing in this short memoir is controlled and technically sound. And yet, beyond that, Shraya utilizes force and precision in accounting her experiences with tender, sensitive moments of her life. I think it’s hard to discuss our own trauma without leaning either toward self-indulgence or feigned humility, but Shraya’s writing is a testament to how to craft stories with meaning without sounding trite or repetitive or indulgent.

Approach: 5⭐️/5

The book is divided into three sections: the intro, you, and me. The you section is written in second person, forcing the reader into the shoes of her oppressors, her bullies, and even her beloved, leaves a sense of humanity in those stories from all angles, compelling reader to reconcile the pain with the source. Likewise, the switch to me reminds us of the writer, of Shraya, and her own voice in her life. It’s an effective approach to stories that circle around both an internal struggle for self-identity and the external vision that self-expression ultimately communicates. Eventually, I also got the sense of a ‘manifesto’ forming in the background of the memoir, which was subtle and clear.

Content: 5⭐️/5

The sections of her life that are clearly and concisely chosen and communicated to the reader make this not only a short book but ultimately a controlled read. The focus is obvious, evident in every story we read. Again, I find it hard not to over-indulge when sharing life stories, but Shraya remains in control of that throughout.

Who Should Read This Book?

Those looking for a memoir about transitioning and accepting one’s sexual identity
Readers wanting to learn more about Shraya
Readers who want to challenge and grow in their feminism and LGBTQ+ understanding and alliance

Content Warnings?

Misogyny, sexism, racism, transphobia, biphobia, homophobia, bullying

Post-Reading Rating: 5⭐️/5

The ending was quite stunningly written and communicated.

Final Rating: 5⭐️/5

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