Reviews tagging 'Body shaming'

I'm Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya

19 reviews

clichemarker's review

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reflective sad fast-paced

4.0

An important novella about gender, race, sexuality, and the importance of compassion for ourselves and other people.
"I feel mournful about how much my body has been shaped by men."

"Why is my humanity only seen or cared about when I share the ways in which I have been victimized and violated?"


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crybabybea's review against another edition

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challenging reflective fast-paced

3.75

Wow, this was short but very well done. It gave me a very intimate look into the experience of being a trans woman, especially a BIPOC trans woman. On top of that, it was also a reckoning with the patriarchy, and Vivek Shraya challenged me to examine the gender binary, as well as the morality and standards placed upon men and women. I especially appreciated the short section where she talks about what makes a "good man", and how we can free ourselves and our partners from patriarchal ideals that are rooted in white supremacy and Christian evangelicalism. Just a really thought-provoking and intimate read that I wish was longer.

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sakisreads's review

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challenging emotional reflective fast-paced

4.5

This was such an excellent essay. Vivek Shraya goes from ‘you’ to ‘me’ in her perspectives (so for the first part, you read into her perspectives of different men she’s afraid of, then for the second part you read into how she’s been trying to minimise herself for the comfort of other men etc.) 😳

I read this incredibly quickly, because there was no way to stop 👏🏼 It was phenomenal! I highlighted a few quotes that definitely need going back to again and again.

The ending
I’m also afraid of women
got me 👀
Content warnings below!

4.5 out of 5 stars for me ✨ Thank you!

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qqjj's review against another edition

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challenging emotional medium-paced

3.0


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readandfindout's review

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reflective medium-paced

4.25

Style/writing: 4 stars
Themes: 4 stars
Perspective: 4.5 stars

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lady_bountiful's review against another edition

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emotional informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

4.25


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orchidd's review against another edition

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informative fast-paced

3.0


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ezwolf's review against another edition

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emotional informative reflective fast-paced

5.0


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mattiedancer's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

Writing: 5⭐️/5 
The writing in this short memoir is controlled and technically sound. And yet, beyond that, Shraya utilizes force and precision in accounting her experiences with tender, sensitive moments of her life. I think it’s hard to discuss our own trauma without leaning either toward self-indulgence or feigned humility, but Shraya’s writing is a testament to how to craft stories with meaning without sounding trite or repetitive or indulgent. 

Approach: 5⭐️/5
The book is divided into three sections: the intro, you, and me. The you section is written in second person, forcing the reader into the shoes of her oppressors, her bullies, and even her beloved, leaves a sense of humanity in those stories from all angles, compelling reader to reconcile the pain with the source. Likewise, the switch to me reminds us of the writer, of Shraya, and her own voice in her life. It’s an effective approach to stories that circle around both an internal struggle for self-identity and the external vision that self-expression ultimately communicates. Eventually, I also got the sense of a ‘manifesto’ forming in the background of the memoir, which was subtle and clear.

Content: 5⭐️/5 
The sections of her life that are clearly and concisely chosen and communicated to the reader make this not only a short book but ultimately a controlled read. The focus is obvious, evident in every story we read. Again, I find it hard not to over-indulge when sharing life stories, but Shraya remains in control of that throughout. 

Who Should Read This Book? 
  • Those looking for a memoir about transitioning and accepting one’s sexual identity
  • Readers wanting to learn more about Shraya
  • Readers who want to challenge and grow in their feminism and LGBTQ+ understanding and alliance

Content Warnings? 
  • Misogyny, sexism, racism, transphobia, biphobia, homophobia, bullying

Post-Reading Rating:  5⭐️/5
The ending was quite stunningly written and communicated.

Final Rating: 5⭐️/5


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blackcatkai's review against another edition

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challenging informative fast-paced

5.0

CW: sexism, trans/homophobia, racism, bullying, infidelity, suicidal thoughts mentioned, casual ableism, body shaming, sexual assault in the form of nonconsensual touching, mental illness, harassment, mentions of toxic masculinity

a short memoir from Vivek Shraya about her growing up & into herself as a queer transwoman and all the internalized/societal issues shes faced involving men as well as women. she touches on tough topics but there's good things here, too. I love her writing and insights about gender itself as well as gender expression. I would definitely recommend this and will be reading more of her work in the future.

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