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Reviews tagging 'Child death'
You're the Only One I've Told: The Stories Behind Abortion by Meera Shah
11 reviews
gabbadabbadoo's review against another edition
5.0
got 93% through and had to return
first nonfiction i (sort of) got through and i liked it! the author does a fantastic job of telling the stories about the various people abortion affects - doctors, patients, partners, and the lives they touch. these don't feel like semi-anonymous descriptions of recipients of abortions, but being introduced to real, complex people in real complex situations spread across decades. i felt connected to each experience and never like i was just listening to words. amazing storytelling while weaving in the authors own experiences, perspectives, and facts about abortion in america.
first nonfiction i (sort of) got through and i liked it! the author does a fantastic job of telling the stories about the various people abortion affects - doctors, patients, partners, and the lives they touch. these don't feel like semi-anonymous descriptions of recipients of abortions, but being introduced to real, complex people in real complex situations spread across decades. i felt connected to each experience and never like i was just listening to words. amazing storytelling while weaving in the authors own experiences, perspectives, and facts about abortion in america.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abortion, Grief, Child death, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Racism, Adult/minor relationship, Medical trauma, Misogyny, Domestic abuse, Sexism, and Rape
Minor: Medical content and Child abuse
melishajo's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
I cannot recommend this book enough. The stories from the people in this book were heartbreaking but I think abortion is a conversation more people need to have. The courage and strength these people had to tell their stories and the way that the author put them all together to continue the conversation was just breathtaking.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death and Abortion
applesodaperson's review
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
Wow. Just wow. This book is so incredibly powerful and so important. This book made me feel such a range of emotions, but also I learned so much about abortion from it. This is obviously a very controversial topic, but Shah gives it the maximum amount of nuance and respect possible.
This book very much made me focus on some really hard feelings, specifically, when hearing the stories that comprise most of the book. Many of them made me feel very bad for all the women who have had to go through birth complications, or who have trouble accessing abortion care.
I also absolutely loved how inclusive this book was, like I genuinely cannot think of a way it could have been more inclusive. It talked extensively about how race factors into abortion care and also used incredibly inclusive language surrounding gender, which I really appreciated.
I think this book is just so important, because it highlighted so many different experiences and like Shah says, the best way to get people who are opposed to abortion to better understand it is by sharing stories. There are so many myths around why people get abortions, and this book does such a good job at confronting those myths head on and disproving them. I just really think a lot of people need to take a more medical view of abortion, and realize that it is unethical of them to force their religious values onto someone else. It was also so gut wrenching to to know that Roe v. Wade has been overturned since this book came out, which has ruined so many lives and made things so much harder for so many people.
Overall, I loved this book and I genuinely think everyone should read it.
The one reason I did not give it a full 5 stars is because I think one or two of the stories felt a bit repetitive and could have been cut out.
But besides that, this book is pretty much perfect.
Listened to on Libby.
This book very much made me focus on some really hard feelings, specifically, when hearing the stories that comprise most of the book. Many of them made me feel very bad for all the women who have had to go through birth complications, or who have trouble accessing abortion care.
I also absolutely loved how inclusive this book was, like I genuinely cannot think of a way it could have been more inclusive. It talked extensively about how race factors into abortion care and also used incredibly inclusive language surrounding gender, which I really appreciated.
I think this book is just so important, because it highlighted so many different experiences and like Shah says, the best way to get people who are opposed to abortion to better understand it is by sharing stories. There are so many myths around why people get abortions, and this book does such a good job at confronting those myths head on and disproving them. I just really think a lot of people need to take a more medical view of abortion, and realize that it is unethical of them to force their religious values onto someone else. It was also so gut wrenching to to know that Roe v. Wade has been overturned since this book came out, which has ruined so many lives and made things so much harder for so many people.
Overall, I loved this book and I genuinely think everyone should read it.
The one reason I did not give it a full 5 stars is because I think one or two of the stories felt a bit repetitive and could have been cut out.
But besides that, this book is pretty much perfect.
Listened to on Libby.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abortion, Pregnancy, Miscarriage, and Child death
Minor: Racism, Misogyny, and Child abuse
blissofalife's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
I would recommend this book to anyone who wanted to understand the nuances of abortion and see how it affects everybody.
Very informative, very well written. I didn’t love switching narrators on the audiobook, one was clear and loud the other was soft and fuzzy.
Very informative, very well written. I didn’t love switching narrators on the audiobook, one was clear and loud the other was soft and fuzzy.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abortion, Medical trauma, Pregnancy, Grief, Child death, Death, and Medical content
Moderate: Classism, Miscarriage, and Misogyny
Minor: Emotional abuse, Blood, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual assault, Infertility, Physical abuse, Cursing, Religious bigotry, Sexual violence, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Addiction, Domestic abuse, Alcohol, Rape, Alcoholism, Chronic illness, and Toxic relationship
percys_panda_pillow_pet's review
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
Even as a staunch "pro-choice" activist, this book opened my eyes to many situations and facts about reproductive health that I was not aware of. After reading You're the Only One I've Told, I went straight to my friends that are in relationships and most at risk for impromptu pregnancies and relayed information that I felt was valuable to know. For example, I did not realize that the majority of insurance companies didn't cover abortion, and that abortion was so expensive. Logically, it makes sense given the political climate around abortion, but I was so caught up in whether or not abortion would be criminalized, that I never thought about other roadblocks that could prevent proper reproductive health care.
Because of this new information, I became more aware of the privilege of simply not being in a relationship. I don't have to worry about accidental pregnancy or abortion and all the nuances that come with it. I am so thankful for not just the author for putting together this anthology of stories, but also for being candid about facts, AND for the people who consented to their stories being published. I felt like Dr. Shah's point about the visibility of stories was so poignant after reading this book.
I think my only critique was that I wish that more queer perspectives could've been included, especially a trans man's experience. There really isn't enough about what it is like to be a trans man and experience something like pregnancy, whether wanted or not. However, I loved that Dr. Shah included the perspective of a man because they are integral to the conversation about abortion, just not in the way people expect. As well, Dr. Shah attempts to honor any perspective she could not include in the book in her introduction, and I understand that it would be impossible to represent everyone in one book.
Perhaps with more awareness of this topic, and the ability to speak more freely, more experiences and voices can be lifted up and heard. I highly recommend this book and hope more like it follow.
Because of this new information, I became more aware of the privilege of simply not being in a relationship. I don't have to worry about accidental pregnancy or abortion and all the nuances that come with it. I am so thankful for not just the author for putting together this anthology of stories, but also for being candid about facts, AND for the people who consented to their stories being published. I felt like Dr. Shah's point about the visibility of stories was so poignant after reading this book.
I think my only critique was that I wish that more queer perspectives could've been included, especially a trans man's experience. There really isn't enough about what it is like to be a trans man and experience something like pregnancy, whether wanted or not. However, I loved that Dr. Shah included the perspective of a man because they are integral to the conversation about abortion, just not in the way people expect. As well, Dr. Shah attempts to honor any perspective she could not include in the book in her introduction, and I understand that it would be impossible to represent everyone in one book.
Perhaps with more awareness of this topic, and the ability to speak more freely, more experiences and voices can be lifted up and heard. I highly recommend this book and hope more like it follow.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abortion, Mental illness, Death, Medical trauma, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Child death, Pedophilia, Terminal illness, Sexual assault, Rape, Medical content, Pregnancy, Miscarriage, and Grief
Moderate: Chronic illness, Transphobia, Domestic abuse, Addiction, Injury/Injury detail, Alcohol, Blood, Cancer, and Infertility
Minor: Infidelity and Car accident
lingfish7's review
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
📖🎧This book was probably the most educational and informative nonfiction I’ve read this year. If you want to understand the abortion issue more and apply empathy to real people, this is a great resource. The author covers a different person in each chapter and their story of getting pregnant and ultimately making the decision to end the pregnancy via abortion. There is someone in every age group, racial and cultural identity, socioeconomic background, and religion. The author, who is an abortion provider, really covers her ground sharing stories that emphasize people and complexity of this issue. The stories included range from the 1980’s to present day.
I grew up in a conservative home where I was taught that being pro life meant saving babies and pro choice meant murdering babies. There was no other discussion on the matter, no empathy for the mothers who feel they cannot have the baby. It was such a simple worldview. But life isn’t that black and white. The reason the abortion issue is so controversial is because it’s filled with immense nuance. I think the turning point for me in the past 5 years has been acknowledging the hypocrisy of being “pro-life” while also withholding birth control, sex education, and childcare from these women. Does the pro life side care more about an unborn fetus than a woman whose life is at risk by her pregnancy? Or more about the fetus than, say, the health and livelihood of that baby out of the womb?
My own worldview has shifted drastically since 2016 and I can say that this book found me at the perfect time. I’m so glad that Dr. Shah took the time to write down these stories and engage in the conversation with empathy and compassion. I can say from my prior experience reading pro-life Christian books, they ironically have a complete lack of empathy and compassion. They tend to condemn the women that would choose to “kill their own babies” and demonize anyone who would stand for reproductive rights. But I wish I knew the “other side” sooner. I wish I had taken the time years ago to put my biases and background aside, and understand on a deeper level.
I won’t go into more detail, because I would probably end up writing an essay instead. Read this book if you want to go deeper. Read it if you want to become more open minded about the world and its complexity.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abortion, Child death, and Miscarriage
shannonmmay's review
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Minor: Child abuse, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Rape, Emotional abuse, Medical content, Abortion, Child death, Domestic abuse, Grief, Infertility, and Medical trauma
kileyglispie's review against another edition
slow-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child death
yourbookishbff's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
slow-paced
5.0
You're the Only One I've Told, by Dr. Meera Shah, is an incredibly compelling collection of abortion stories. Dr. Shah is a physician who provides abortions and reproductive healthcare to patients in New York, but her compilation of stories spans experiences across (and outside of) the US. She highlights a diverse cross-section of people, effectively evidencing the thousands of intricacies in any reproductive healthcare decision. Each story is told in close collaboration with the story's owner, and each story is complemented by contextual details about the specific state/country the patient lived in (and thus, the various legal challenges they faced).
In bringing these stories together in a single collection, Dr. Shah examines the personal, relational, familial, religious, cultural, medical and legal layers in every decision, showing us just how complex pregnancy decisions can be. We hear the stories of single people, married parents with children, nonbinary and trans people, people of color, young and not-so-young people, people seeking care hundreds - and sometimes thousands - of miles from home, people who have had multiple abortions, people who have encountered planned pregnancies with complex diagnoses and people who have encountered unplanned pregnancies and so many more. No two stories are alike, making the black-and-white legal barriers they each face all the more absurd. It is particularly eye-opening to see just how inaccessible reproductive healthcare is to the people highlighted in these stories, and this was written and published BEFORE the reversal of Roe vs. Wade. Abortion access has been steadily eroding for decades, and when you see intimately in these accounts the real people that these mostly state-led restrictions have impacted, it's heart wrenching.
In bringing these stories together in a single collection, Dr. Shah examines the personal, relational, familial, religious, cultural, medical and legal layers in every decision, showing us just how complex pregnancy decisions can be. We hear the stories of single people, married parents with children, nonbinary and trans people, people of color, young and not-so-young people, people seeking care hundreds - and sometimes thousands - of miles from home, people who have had multiple abortions, people who have encountered planned pregnancies with complex diagnoses and people who have encountered unplanned pregnancies and so many more. No two stories are alike, making the black-and-white legal barriers they each face all the more absurd. It is particularly eye-opening to see just how inaccessible reproductive healthcare is to the people highlighted in these stories, and this was written and published BEFORE the reversal of Roe vs. Wade. Abortion access has been steadily eroding for decades, and when you see intimately in these accounts the real people that these mostly state-led restrictions have impacted, it's heart wrenching.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical trauma, Abortion, Sexual content, Pregnancy, Medical content, Miscarriage, Sexism, and Sexual assault
Moderate: Child abuse, Adult/minor relationship, and Racism
Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, and Child death
marlainmontanareads's review
challenging
informative
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Moderate: Infertility, Child death, and Abortion