Reviews tagging 'Medical trauma'

You're the Only One I've Told: The Stories Behind Abortion by Meera Shah

10 reviews

stirlingluci's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

4.5

no matter your views, this is a must read. it has an incredible amount of information, stories, and compassion

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Miscarriage, Religious bigotry, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Pregnancy, Abortion, Grief, Medical trauma, and Infertility

kamrynkoble's review against another edition

emotional informative reflective slow-paced

4.0

Women’s reproductive rights and care has always been something extremely important to me. I came to this book with the lens of a woman raised in a highly conservative, Christian environment who is pro-choice despite never needing abortion care myself. Because of my background, I do not think this book would be very effective to “sway” any conservative Christians. 

It often seeks to identify abortion as something commonplace and completely devoid of shame. It included the stories of several women who had to have abortion for medical reasons, even though they wanted the pregnancy. In these situations, the grief and decision-making is difficult. But in the author, a physician’s, own narration, it comes across as “not that big of a deal.” There really isn’t any education on avoiding abortion in the first place as it’s apparent that the author sees no issue with women having as many abortions as they want, for whatever reason. I could see this almost irreverent tone as being off putting to those who are on the fence in any way, shape, or form. 

The other factor is high attention to gender. This book focuses on inclusive language (pregnant person instead of pregnant woman, people with uteruses, etc), provides pronouns for every person mentioned at the beginning of their chapters, and often offers caveats that include nonbinary people and trans men. While I know these caveats are important, it can detract from this seeming like a woman’s issue, and turns the conversation to broader topics of gender and sexuality. For that reason I would also be extremely hesitant to recommend this book to a conservative Christian. 

The author is obviously a physician, and I think this book could’ve benefitted from a ghost writer who could help organize the thoughts here in a more cohesive, easy-to-read way. It was often repetitive and ricocheted between people’s personal stories and then paragraphs of laws and court cases. 

What was strong? I learned SO much. I feel like I have a much more comprehensive look at reproductive healthcare in the US. The most recent developments have terrified me, and I hope the author expands upon them in a second edition at some point. 

I appreciated the wide breadth of the different stories offered here. It was obvious that all the interviewees had great rapport with the author. 

As a decidedly pro-choice person, I found this educational, fascinating, and clarifying. With a different author tone, I could see these stories being helpful for those who’ve never been in these people’s shoes, and struggle to imagine what it would be like. I’ll gladly recommend this to my pro-choice friends, but if you’re looking for something to sway others, I don’t think this is the pick. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion and Pregnancy

Moderate: Sexism, Religious bigotry, Medical content, and Medical trauma

gabbadabbadoo's review against another edition

5.0

got 93% through and had to return 

first nonfiction i (sort of) got through and i liked it! the author does a fantastic job of telling the stories  about the various people abortion affects - doctors, patients, partners, and the lives they touch. these don't feel like semi-anonymous descriptions of recipients of abortions, but being introduced to real, complex people in real complex situations spread across decades. i felt connected to each experience and never like i was just listening to words. amazing storytelling while weaving in the authors own experiences, perspectives, and facts about abortion in america.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Grief, Child death, and Pregnancy

Moderate: Racism, Adult/minor relationship, Medical trauma, Misogyny, Domestic abuse, Sexism, and Rape

Minor: Medical content and Child abuse

blissofalife's review against another edition

emotional informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

4.0

I would recommend this book to anyone who wanted to understand the nuances of abortion and see how it affects everybody.

Very informative, very well written. I didn’t love switching narrators on the audiobook, one was clear and loud the other was soft and fuzzy.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Medical trauma, Pregnancy, Grief, Child death, Death, and Medical content

Moderate: Classism, Miscarriage, and Misogyny

Minor: Emotional abuse, Blood, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual assault, Infertility, Physical abuse, Cursing, Religious bigotry, Sexual violence, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Addiction, Domestic abuse, Alcohol, Rape, Alcoholism, Chronic illness, and Toxic relationship

percys_panda_pillow_pet's review

challenging dark emotional informative inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

4.5

Even as a staunch "pro-choice" activist, this book opened my eyes to many situations and facts about reproductive health that I was not aware of. After reading You're the Only One I've Told, I went straight to my friends that are in relationships and most at risk for impromptu pregnancies and relayed information that I felt was valuable to know. For example, I did not realize that the majority of insurance companies didn't cover abortion, and that abortion was so expensive. Logically, it makes sense given the political climate around abortion, but I was so caught up in whether or not abortion would be criminalized, that I never thought about other roadblocks that could prevent proper reproductive health care.

Because of this new information, I became more aware of the privilege of simply not being in a relationship. I don't have to worry about accidental pregnancy or abortion and all the nuances that come with it. I am so thankful for not just the author for putting together this anthology of stories, but also for being candid about facts, AND for the people who consented to their stories being published. I felt like Dr. Shah's point about the visibility of stories was so poignant after reading this book. 

I think my only critique was that I wish that more queer perspectives could've been included, especially a trans man's experience. There really isn't enough about what it is like to be a trans man and experience something like pregnancy, whether wanted or not. However, I loved that Dr. Shah included the perspective of a man because they are integral to the conversation about abortion, just not in the way people expect. As well, Dr. Shah attempts to honor any perspective she could not include in the book in her introduction, and I understand that it would be impossible to represent everyone in one book. 

Perhaps with more awareness of this topic, and the ability to speak more freely, more experiences and voices can be lifted up and heard. I highly recommend this book and hope more like it follow. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Mental illness, Death, Medical trauma, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Child death, Pedophilia, Terminal illness, Sexual assault, Rape, Medical content, Pregnancy, Miscarriage, and Grief

Moderate: Chronic illness, Transphobia, Domestic abuse, Addiction, Injury/Injury detail, Alcohol, Blood, Cancer, and Infertility

Minor: Infidelity and Car accident

shannonmmay's review

emotional informative reflective medium-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Minor: Child abuse, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Rape, Emotional abuse, Medical content, Abortion, Child death, Domestic abuse, Grief, Infertility, and Medical trauma

yourbookishbff's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative reflective sad slow-paced

5.0

You're the Only One I've Told, by Dr. Meera Shah, is an incredibly compelling collection of abortion stories. Dr. Shah is a physician who provides abortions and reproductive healthcare to patients in New York, but her compilation of stories spans experiences across (and outside of) the US. She highlights a diverse cross-section of people, effectively evidencing the thousands of intricacies in any reproductive healthcare decision. Each story is told in close collaboration with the story's owner, and each story is complemented by contextual details about the specific state/country the patient lived in (and thus, the various legal challenges they faced). 

In bringing these stories together in a single collection, Dr. Shah examines the personal, relational, familial, religious, cultural, medical and legal layers in every decision, showing us just how complex pregnancy decisions can be. We hear the stories of single people, married parents with children, nonbinary and trans people, people of color, young and not-so-young people, people seeking care hundreds - and sometimes thousands - of miles from home, people who have had multiple abortions, people who have encountered planned pregnancies with complex diagnoses and people who have encountered unplanned pregnancies and so many more. No two stories are alike, making the black-and-white legal barriers they each face all the more absurd. It is particularly eye-opening to see just how inaccessible reproductive healthcare is to the people highlighted in these stories, and this was written and published BEFORE the reversal of Roe vs. Wade. Abortion access has been steadily eroding for decades, and when you see intimately in these accounts the real people that these mostly state-led restrictions have impacted, it's heart wrenching.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Medical trauma, Abortion, Sexual content, Pregnancy, Medical content, Miscarriage, Sexism, and Sexual assault

Moderate: Child abuse, Adult/minor relationship, and Racism

Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, and Child death

mckeelyshannon's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative reflective medium-paced

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual assault, Rape, Incest, Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Medical trauma, Abortion, Transphobia, Medical content, Infertility, and Domestic abuse

alicelalicon's review against another edition

informative reflective slow-paced

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Child death, Grief, Medical content, Medical trauma, Miscarriage, and Pregnancy

mscalls's review

challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective tense fast-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abortion, Miscarriage, Medical trauma, Medical content, and Infertility

Minor: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Rape, and Adult/minor relationship