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66 reviews for:
It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living
Dan Savage, Terry Miller
3.98 AVERAGE
66 reviews for:
It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living
Dan Savage, Terry Miller
3.98 AVERAGE
It gets better because not only do you have more control over your environment once you're an adult - meaning that you can MOVE AWAY and live in the city, or in a cabin in the woods - but you can have more control over what messages you absorb from family, friends, and our culture. However, one of the most striking things in these essays is how similar they are, despite being written by people from all different parts of the country, of different ages, backgrounds, and nationalities. One theme that keeps coming up is people repeatedly writing that they bullied themselves and punished themselves way more than anyone else ever could, by making vows in their own heads to never tell anyone they were gay, or to never love anyone or do anything that would ever lead to anyone finding out. And then, tellingly, they discuss how much better and how freeing it is when you're not hiding yourself and your true thoughts from everyone. How people can come through for you, even, if you give them enough credit and believe they can handle the truth of who you are.
This book is amazing. I thought that it would be more of a memoir from different LGBTQ perspectives, but this book is more of self-help and self-discovery. It is a book that provides words of encouragement towards LGTBQ youth, which is something as a 34-year-old adult, I need sometimes, too.
I would recommend not only to LGTBQ youth, but also to anyone who has LGTBQ friends, family, colleagues, etc. This book is amazing, and I am so happy that I picked this book up.
I would recommend not only to LGTBQ youth, but also to anyone who has LGTBQ friends, family, colleagues, etc. This book is amazing, and I am so happy that I picked this book up.
LGBTQ
•••
Great message, but now (almost 10 years later) some terminology is a bit outdated. An updated 10th anniversary edition or sequel would be incredible, because with everything that’s happened since 2011, we know things can get better, but we still need to hear it.
As a reader in 2020, I noticed that the words “non-binary,” “pansexual,” “asexual,” and “intersex” were nowhere to be seen in this text. I’m not saying it was maliciously intended and that the authors purposefully excluded people from this book. It just kept reminding me, “Look how far we’ve come in less than a decade!” I know and see and hear so many people speaking up about who they are, or who they’ve discovered themselves to be. Many of us can remember times when we didn’t have the words to describe who we were feeling or who we are.
So my request for a 10th anniversary re-release or Part 2 would be this: include those voices! There are so many amazing people who have come out or come out again and are proof that it does, indeed, get better! — especially since the words they now use to describe themselves weren’t even in the mainstream vernacular 10 years ago. We love to see it!
Overall, It Gets Better is a lovely book. I cried more than once. I read a story written in Spanish and later saw one written in Arabic. It makes me heart feel full to remember it. I love that this book embodies the goal of the larger project: to give individuals something that feels so special, a message that feels personal and yet unifying at the same time. This is a book I’d put in my classroom library. It’s not even necessary to read the whole thing. One story could make all the difference to someone.
•••
Great message, but now (almost 10 years later) some terminology is a bit outdated. An updated 10th anniversary edition or sequel would be incredible, because with everything that’s happened since 2011, we know things can get better, but we still need to hear it.
As a reader in 2020, I noticed that the words “non-binary,” “pansexual,” “asexual,” and “intersex” were nowhere to be seen in this text. I’m not saying it was maliciously intended and that the authors purposefully excluded people from this book. It just kept reminding me, “Look how far we’ve come in less than a decade!” I know and see and hear so many people speaking up about who they are, or who they’ve discovered themselves to be. Many of us can remember times when we didn’t have the words to describe who we were feeling or who we are.
So my request for a 10th anniversary re-release or Part 2 would be this: include those voices! There are so many amazing people who have come out or come out again and are proof that it does, indeed, get better! — especially since the words they now use to describe themselves weren’t even in the mainstream vernacular 10 years ago. We love to see it!
Overall, It Gets Better is a lovely book. I cried more than once. I read a story written in Spanish and later saw one written in Arabic. It makes me heart feel full to remember it. I love that this book embodies the goal of the larger project: to give individuals something that feels so special, a message that feels personal and yet unifying at the same time. This is a book I’d put in my classroom library. It’s not even necessary to read the whole thing. One story could make all the difference to someone.
Great idea in theory, but it's mostly just people saying that they love you and that they're here for you when they're really not. In the entire book, there's one person who gives contact information whereas the rest simply say they're there with no follow-up. I understand that it's not ideal for stars to put their contact information, but it just seems like it's all about the publicity when they say there's something better and that you have a friend in them and can always call on them when you can't.
challenging
hopeful
slow-paced
Essay collections can be difficult since there are so many different perspectives included, some of which will be more poignant than others. It Gets Better is a valiant effort to show LGBTQ+ kids a brighter future as well as support and understanding. Still, I couldn’t really connect with this collection, finding a lot of it dreadfully repetitive.
A great synthesis of the It Gets Better Project videos and the importance they have on the LGBTQ community. The stories are from diverse backgrounds and experiences, a mix of celebrities, politicians, recent high school grads and middle aged doctors, police officers, artist, performers and more. A sobering and uplifting read.
To start with my quibble with the book: despite the positive message of the title and the essays, I sort of feel like things don't always get better for LGBT-identified people. Not everybody turns 18, goes off to college or moves to a queer-friendly neighborhood in a big city, achieves the acceptance of family and friends, finds a safe work environment, etc. Some of these folks will experience hate crimes and discrimination, be cut off from their families or religious communities, or struggle with their self-identification and their often marginalized relationships for their whole life. The title of the book isn't "It Gets Perfect," but I think I would have appreciated a wider perspective on how you can "create a life worth living" beyond the few narratives I mentioned above. For this reason, I really appreciated the authors who indicated that they had lost friends or family or experienced other discrimination or ignorance in their coming out process, because it balanced out all the sunny, impossibly chirpy 18-year-olds.
To be clear, I'm not saying that any of these situations is acceptable. Everybody should be able to live their lives openly and freely, and shouldn't feel like they have to move to a city or pursue a freelance career to be themselves.
Even considering all that, I would have done anything to have a book like this when I was younger. I can imagine a younger me paging through the anthology on sleepless nights, reading the stories over and over again after a miserable day at my middle or high school, or even in the morning, when anxiety made it difficult for me to crawl out of bed and face another day. I wish I knew more younger folk whose hands I could press this book into; I wish I could go back in time and press it into younger-me's hands.
To be clear, I'm not saying that any of these situations is acceptable. Everybody should be able to live their lives openly and freely, and shouldn't feel like they have to move to a city or pursue a freelance career to be themselves.
Even considering all that, I would have done anything to have a book like this when I was younger. I can imagine a younger me paging through the anthology on sleepless nights, reading the stories over and over again after a miserable day at my middle or high school, or even in the morning, when anxiety made it difficult for me to crawl out of bed and face another day. I wish I knew more younger folk whose hands I could press this book into; I wish I could go back in time and press it into younger-me's hands.
While not being the target audience, I'm not LGBT, but I know those who are, I wish this would have been around when I was a kid.Yes, some of it was repetitive. But the overall message was one I could relate to. It indeed does get better and you do indeed get stronger. I just hope that the message gets across to the teens who do indeed need to hear it.