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4.24 AVERAGE
4.24 AVERAGE
"My mother and I speak different languages. Her native language is Japanese. My native language is English. This might seem like a mundane fact about us. It’s not. It dictates everything."
This touching memoir written by Elizabeth Miki Brina is about growing up as an Asian-American in the United States, her sometimes complicated relationship with her parents -especially her mom, and her experience of being ashamed and embarassed of her mother's culture. After having a tumultuous relationship with her mother growing up, she wants to cure her mother and to heal their relationship. As she navigates through this difficult time feeling pain and grief, she tells the history of the island where her mother grew up: Okinawa, while reflecting on memories of her childhood.
"And there is more to a language barrier than mere lack of shared vocabulary. There is a clash of history and culture. There is an imbalance of power."
Speak, Okinawa turned out to be a beautiful, well-written and thought-provoking memoir. This wasn’t a memoir that had me bawling my eyes out from beginning to end, but it hit me in waves, forcing me to put the book down and return to it. It’s emotional, and it transfixed me—sending me into reflections of past relationships with members of my own family—reminding me of how we should never take family for granted. No one is guaranteed any specific amount of time here, and we have to live each day like it’s our last together.
"I wish I had crawled into bed with her, told her not to worry, told her that I am her daughter, I am home. I wish I had been on her side, as she was always on mine.
But I was a little girl then, and more than a little scared and selfish, and I didn’t want to be near her."
For years, Elizabeth was ashamed of her Japanese mother. She thought she was an outsider in a town where 99% of the population is white, in a time where people of color were treated like outcasts. Elizabeth wanted to be part of the society and not be singled out. She wanted to fit in. So she refused to acknowlege her mother's work, barely spoke to her because of the language barrier and ignored her most of the time.
"Her fear embarrasses me. Her fear is always embarrassing me. At the grocery store, at the mall, she asks me to read signs and where to find things. When cashiers and clerks ask her to repeat herself, sometimes I have to interrupt and speak for her. I’m afraid to let her speak. I’m afraid of how her accent and pronunciation reflect on me.
Or maybe it is my fear that embarrasses her.
Her friends call her "Miss Piggy" because of her pug nose and sometimes "Tinker Bell" for her slanted eyes. Slowly, she starts dying her hair all sorts of colors in hopes of fitting in, bidding her last farewell to her real identity. I know that millions of women out there struggle with the pressure and guilt they grew up with because of their background. It often takes years to realize that you are okay the way you are. We need to recognize the dignity of others and let go of this pain and shame we carry around our identity. Your culture is not a deficiency, your difference is not an inadequacy. The color of your skin is not something to be ashamed of.
I guess I look strange, unfamiliar. I guess the way I look makes them uncomfortable. We are still extras, one-dimensional villains and sidekicks.
Brina managed to really capture the complexities of the mother-daughter relationship, especially that of an Asian-American daughter and a Japanese immigrant mother.
It took too long for me to admire my mother’s common sense and practical knowledge. Her ingenious reuse of excess food packaging. Her ability to transform a can of tuna fish and a carrot into a deftly flavored stir-fry dish. It took me too long to accept and appreciate my mother’s English. Eventually I realized that the world is certainly big enough for her English, for all Englishes, for all the languages and dialects, each one another history, another journey, another map by which we discover ourselves. Eventually I realized that it is my responsibility to understand her, not her responsibility to make herself understood.
But it took too long.
This was so moving, and I think I will recommend to literally anyone and everyone. This story can help us feel more appreciative of our family and culture, or at least what we have learned from them. STUNNING.
When two people with different histories, different cultures, interact with one another, they may very well get along. They may become friends. They may fall in love. They may marry and become family. But often, more often than perhaps we’re willing to observe and decipher, our ingrained histories and cultures will confront each other, potentially misinterpret and upset each other. No matter how unintentional, an offensive thought, a tactless remark, a moment of condescension inevitably slips out.
*I'm sorry for the ammount of quotes I added but the book was simply amazing to the point where I highlighted most of its cites, these are just a few.
This touching memoir written by Elizabeth Miki Brina is about growing up as an Asian-American in the United States, her sometimes complicated relationship with her parents -especially her mom, and her experience of being ashamed and embarassed of her mother's culture. After having a tumultuous relationship with her mother growing up, she wants to cure her mother and to heal their relationship. As she navigates through this difficult time feeling pain and grief, she tells the history of the island where her mother grew up: Okinawa, while reflecting on memories of her childhood.
"And there is more to a language barrier than mere lack of shared vocabulary. There is a clash of history and culture. There is an imbalance of power."
Speak, Okinawa turned out to be a beautiful, well-written and thought-provoking memoir. This wasn’t a memoir that had me bawling my eyes out from beginning to end, but it hit me in waves, forcing me to put the book down and return to it. It’s emotional, and it transfixed me—sending me into reflections of past relationships with members of my own family—reminding me of how we should never take family for granted. No one is guaranteed any specific amount of time here, and we have to live each day like it’s our last together.
"I wish I had crawled into bed with her, told her not to worry, told her that I am her daughter, I am home. I wish I had been on her side, as she was always on mine.
But I was a little girl then, and more than a little scared and selfish, and I didn’t want to be near her."
For years, Elizabeth was ashamed of her Japanese mother. She thought she was an outsider in a town where 99% of the population is white, in a time where people of color were treated like outcasts. Elizabeth wanted to be part of the society and not be singled out. She wanted to fit in. So she refused to acknowlege her mother's work, barely spoke to her because of the language barrier and ignored her most of the time.
"Her fear embarrasses me. Her fear is always embarrassing me. At the grocery store, at the mall, she asks me to read signs and where to find things. When cashiers and clerks ask her to repeat herself, sometimes I have to interrupt and speak for her. I’m afraid to let her speak. I’m afraid of how her accent and pronunciation reflect on me.
Or maybe it is my fear that embarrasses her.
Her friends call her "Miss Piggy" because of her pug nose and sometimes "Tinker Bell" for her slanted eyes. Slowly, she starts dying her hair all sorts of colors in hopes of fitting in, bidding her last farewell to her real identity. I know that millions of women out there struggle with the pressure and guilt they grew up with because of their background. It often takes years to realize that you are okay the way you are. We need to recognize the dignity of others and let go of this pain and shame we carry around our identity. Your culture is not a deficiency, your difference is not an inadequacy. The color of your skin is not something to be ashamed of.
I guess I look strange, unfamiliar. I guess the way I look makes them uncomfortable. We are still extras, one-dimensional villains and sidekicks.
Brina managed to really capture the complexities of the mother-daughter relationship, especially that of an Asian-American daughter and a Japanese immigrant mother.
It took too long for me to admire my mother’s common sense and practical knowledge. Her ingenious reuse of excess food packaging. Her ability to transform a can of tuna fish and a carrot into a deftly flavored stir-fry dish. It took me too long to accept and appreciate my mother’s English. Eventually I realized that the world is certainly big enough for her English, for all Englishes, for all the languages and dialects, each one another history, another journey, another map by which we discover ourselves. Eventually I realized that it is my responsibility to understand her, not her responsibility to make herself understood.
But it took too long.
This was so moving, and I think I will recommend to literally anyone and everyone. This story can help us feel more appreciative of our family and culture, or at least what we have learned from them. STUNNING.
When two people with different histories, different cultures, interact with one another, they may very well get along. They may become friends. They may fall in love. They may marry and become family. But often, more often than perhaps we’re willing to observe and decipher, our ingrained histories and cultures will confront each other, potentially misinterpret and upset each other. No matter how unintentional, an offensive thought, a tactless remark, a moment of condescension inevitably slips out.
*I'm sorry for the ammount of quotes I added but the book was simply amazing to the point where I highlighted most of its cites, these are just a few.
emotional
funny
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
medium-paced
It's hard to tell a story about one's past with clarity and honesty, knowing you may be judged. It's always strange for me to rate memoirs; here, let me just RATE HOW YOU TOLD THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE, keeping the judgment out of the life itself. I felt this was well-written, told from different points of view to help build a story around a bi-racial family; cultures, from country to military life to childhood to adulthood and more; war and how that creates a generational trauma; and the perspective of an individual who is a product of all of the above.
I knew pretty much nothing about Okinawa before. A lot of this is an Asian-American experience; a lot of it, I can relate to. The parts specific to Okinawa are new to me. A lot of this made me pretty sad. Some people may feel holier-than-thou when they read about what the author did...in her childhood and teenage years. I mean, you do you, I guess, but who's perfect? Anyway, it's worth a read or a listen. This was an audiobook for me and there were enough moments where I just sat in the garage even though I was already home, because I wanted to keep listening.
I knew pretty much nothing about Okinawa before. A lot of this is an Asian-American experience; a lot of it, I can relate to. The parts specific to Okinawa are new to me. A lot of this made me pretty sad. Some people may feel holier-than-thou when they read about what the author did...in her childhood and teenage years. I mean, you do you, I guess, but who's perfect? Anyway, it's worth a read or a listen. This was an audiobook for me and there were enough moments where I just sat in the garage even though I was already home, because I wanted to keep listening.
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
"Eventually I realized that it is my responsibility to understand her, not her responsibility to make herself understood."
"These are the first lessons we are taught in preschool. Which one is not like the others? . . . We are taught that sameness is correct. Sameness is desired."
"When I looked under the table, I didn't see my mother. I saw me. I saw a woman hurting. I saw a woman fighting to be acknowledged and understood. Fighting to matter."
Such a phenomenal book that I finished it in one day. Heart-wrenchingly, heartbreakingly honest and raw. As an immigrant who moved to the United States at a young age and raised in an immigrant household surrounded by all things American, I resonated with this book so much. Not only does Elizabeth capture the nuances between the relationships she has with her parents, she also deep dives into the history of her mother's homeland. A history that is rarely, if ever, shared in the school systems. A history that is tragic, but necessary to understand. I won't fully be able to capture in words how I truly feel about this book; just know I highly recommend it!
"These are the first lessons we are taught in preschool. Which one is not like the others? . . . We are taught that sameness is correct. Sameness is desired."
"When I looked under the table, I didn't see my mother. I saw me. I saw a woman hurting. I saw a woman fighting to be acknowledged and understood. Fighting to matter."
Such a phenomenal book that I finished it in one day. Heart-wrenchingly, heartbreakingly honest and raw. As an immigrant who moved to the United States at a young age and raised in an immigrant household surrounded by all things American, I resonated with this book so much. Not only does Elizabeth capture the nuances between the relationships she has with her parents, she also deep dives into the history of her mother's homeland. A history that is rarely, if ever, shared in the school systems. A history that is tragic, but necessary to understand. I won't fully be able to capture in words how I truly feel about this book; just know I highly recommend it!
An indictment of any BIPOC with a white parent who was rude to their 'othered' parent.
When you were a teenager and you went to [place name of generic pop culture event here] instead of that important cultural event with your parent. Yes you should feel guilty for breaking your mom/dad's heart.
The story is rich and complex, but the main character is just an asshole.
When you were a teenager and you went to [place name of generic pop culture event here] instead of that important cultural event with your parent. Yes you should feel guilty for breaking your mom/dad's heart.
The story is rich and complex, but the main character is just an asshole.
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
required reading for okinawan americans! this is beyond a memoir of growing up between two cultures at odds with each other. it is a memoir of an island that was repeatedly used as a pawn between japan & the u.s., the violence and suffering that was brought upon a sacred land and people.
this made me feel seen. while our lives were not quite the same, the larger themes validated me. feeling disconnected from okinawa as a culturally american child and fighting to reclaim that connection as an adult is such a specific experience, and it’s nice to know for sure that i’m not the only one.
learning more about the bloody history of okinawa in the last few centuries was honestly incredibly difficult to read about, but i am so grateful that brina included these stories as part of her memoir.
this is a book i will def need to revisit a few more times in my life. 🌺
this made me feel seen. while our lives were not quite the same, the larger themes validated me. feeling disconnected from okinawa as a culturally american child and fighting to reclaim that connection as an adult is such a specific experience, and it’s nice to know for sure that i’m not the only one.
learning more about the bloody history of okinawa in the last few centuries was honestly incredibly difficult to read about, but i am so grateful that brina included these stories as part of her memoir.
this is a book i will def need to revisit a few more times in my life. 🌺
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
DNF but that's bc reading this book makes me want to drive directly into the ocean. self care,,, lol