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amelie09's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide
hanfaulder's review against another edition
dark
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
3.25
The plot of An Exclusive Love: A Memoir, by Johanna Adorján, is the recounting of details about her own grandparents double suicide. Her grandparents, whom Adorján renders in intimate detail, were Hungarian Jews who survived the Holocaust and the war, and eventually also escaped Hungary in 1956 during the uprising against the Communist regime. They eventually took their lives together in their home in Copenhagen in 1991, as her grandfather was slowly dying from typhoids and her grandmother simply could not live without him.
None of that information is any kind of spoiler, or indication of what this book is really about. An Exclusive Love document's their death - their final day together - through the imagination of Adorján, as she cuts between her own journey and how their death impacted the people in their lives, and the fictional story of their last day alive, which was informed by facts Adorján unearthed about them. With no chapters to brake-up this very short book, Adorján tells an incredibly compelling story of a granddaughters want to better understand her family's past, her heritage, and her grandparents. She explores what it really means to have unconditional love for someone, and although I personally have not thought too much about this book since finishing it, it was thought provoking, informative and tender to read.
Adorján writes this with a dry humour that I found very enjoyable, and oddly grounding. Without her presence of narration, the wit and the softness she brings, I think that this book could have easily become too sentimental and this could have hindered the storytelling. Adorján's writing is, however, very elegant in prose, and smooth to read. Moreover, I found the details that Adorján focused on - her finding it hard to give up smoking as she felt it tied her to her grandmother; the school trip being disrespectful when she visited the concentration camp her grandfather had been detained in; and the feeling of comfort she felt on a flight to Isreal, surrounded by other jewish people - these specific and almost mundane events within the book made it feel all the more real. I felt connected to Adorján and her story in this way, as I could relate my own experiences to hers, and the peculiar things that play with your emotions as you grieve. I thought that overall, this was a lovely short read, and it is particularly good to get into if you feel like you're in a reading slump.
None of that information is any kind of spoiler, or indication of what this book is really about. An Exclusive Love document's their death - their final day together - through the imagination of Adorján, as she cuts between her own journey and how their death impacted the people in their lives, and the fictional story of their last day alive, which was informed by facts Adorján unearthed about them. With no chapters to brake-up this very short book, Adorján tells an incredibly compelling story of a granddaughters want to better understand her family's past, her heritage, and her grandparents. She explores what it really means to have unconditional love for someone, and although I personally have not thought too much about this book since finishing it, it was thought provoking, informative and tender to read.
Adorján writes this with a dry humour that I found very enjoyable, and oddly grounding. Without her presence of narration, the wit and the softness she brings, I think that this book could have easily become too sentimental and this could have hindered the storytelling. Adorján's writing is, however, very elegant in prose, and smooth to read. Moreover, I found the details that Adorján focused on - her finding it hard to give up smoking as she felt it tied her to her grandmother; the school trip being disrespectful when she visited the concentration camp her grandfather had been detained in; and the feeling of comfort she felt on a flight to Isreal, surrounded by other jewish people - these specific and almost mundane events within the book made it feel all the more real. I felt connected to Adorján and her story in this way, as I could relate my own experiences to hers, and the peculiar things that play with your emotions as you grieve. I thought that overall, this was a lovely short read, and it is particularly good to get into if you feel like you're in a reading slump.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Grief, Antisemitism, Death, Suicide, and War
zoemig's review against another edition
3.0
An Exclusive Love: A Memoir by Johanna Adorján tells the story of her grandparents, Hungarian Jews who survived the Holocaust, escaped Budapest during the 1956 uprising against the Communist regime, and died together in a joint suicide in Copenhagen in 1991. Her grandfather was 82 and dying, while her grandmother was 71 and in perfect health, but they could not live without each other so when it became clear his time was almost over they swallowed sleeping pills and fell asleep in bed, holding hands. The book is not divided into chapters, but Adorjan goes back and forth between her own personal experiences and a fictional narrative supported by known facts of what may have happened the day her grandparents died.
Although An Exclusive Love could easily have been overly sentimental and melodramatic, Adorján manages restraint in sharing the story of her grandparents who passed away when she was twenty. She includes the details of their lives she recalls personally, as well as those she has gathered from speaking to others who knew them. An Exclusive Love is Adorján's attempt to explain why despite a large loving family her grandparents choose suicide rather than being separated by death.
An Exclusive Love is a quiet book, the details subtle and elegant. The writing is concise and mostly lovely, so it appears to be a well done translation although there were a few times it was slightly staccato. The title itself is perfect for the book. The problem I found with An Exclusive Love is that Adorján is not really writing her own memoir- it is that of her grandparents. Although she attempted to research their lives, speaking to friends and family, there is just too much missing for it to be a complete book. Adorján's grandparents did not like to talk about the Holocaust, and so there are many large gaps in An Exclusive Love where she is forced to hypothesize about what things must have been like for them. The book seems written at a distance, and that distance is likely what allowed Adorján to write this heart-breaking story in the first place. Unfortunately it also means that the reader never really gets pulled into the hearts of those involved. I felt like I had only a small taste of the great love story Adorján was attempting to tell. Although touching, An Exclusive Love is not the unforgettable memoir it could have been simply because the two people who would have been best able to tell the story are no longer around to share it.
Although An Exclusive Love could easily have been overly sentimental and melodramatic, Adorján manages restraint in sharing the story of her grandparents who passed away when she was twenty. She includes the details of their lives she recalls personally, as well as those she has gathered from speaking to others who knew them. An Exclusive Love is Adorján's attempt to explain why despite a large loving family her grandparents choose suicide rather than being separated by death.
An Exclusive Love is a quiet book, the details subtle and elegant. The writing is concise and mostly lovely, so it appears to be a well done translation although there were a few times it was slightly staccato. The title itself is perfect for the book. The problem I found with An Exclusive Love is that Adorján is not really writing her own memoir- it is that of her grandparents. Although she attempted to research their lives, speaking to friends and family, there is just too much missing for it to be a complete book. Adorján's grandparents did not like to talk about the Holocaust, and so there are many large gaps in An Exclusive Love where she is forced to hypothesize about what things must have been like for them. The book seems written at a distance, and that distance is likely what allowed Adorján to write this heart-breaking story in the first place. Unfortunately it also means that the reader never really gets pulled into the hearts of those involved. I felt like I had only a small taste of the great love story Adorján was attempting to tell. Although touching, An Exclusive Love is not the unforgettable memoir it could have been simply because the two people who would have been best able to tell the story are no longer around to share it.
all_yellow's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Really moving, beautifully honest story of true love.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide, Death, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Torture
kaylagoggin's review against another edition
4.0
3.5 stars. A spare, short little book that made me have some #thoughts about death, conditional love and co-dependence.