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159 reviews for:
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility
Foster Cline, Jim Fay
3.75 AVERAGE
159 reviews for:
Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility
Foster Cline, Jim Fay
3.75 AVERAGE
I’ve heard so much about this book. So many parents I know recommend “Love and Logic” and at the core, I do think the message is a good one: children should be given choices and logical consequences. But the “examples” in this book were ridiculous and I literally snorted out loud while reading some of them. I’ve never met a two year old in the world that says, “I’m cranky because I’m tired.” Be real!
Ok, I’ll admit, I skimmed the last half of this book. But that’s because it is divided into different situations, and I read the ones that may apply. There are some things in this book that I am not willing to accept, however. Repeating a grade because you didn’t do your school work is crossing the line. Calling a friend to take you to your room after misbehaving in the grocery store seems more like a reward than a punishment. If you take this book at its core, it has valuable lessons for parents. Just don’t even bother reading the examples.
Ok, I’ll admit, I skimmed the last half of this book. But that’s because it is divided into different situations, and I read the ones that may apply. There are some things in this book that I am not willing to accept, however. Repeating a grade because you didn’t do your school work is crossing the line. Calling a friend to take you to your room after misbehaving in the grocery store seems more like a reward than a punishment. If you take this book at its core, it has valuable lessons for parents. Just don’t even bother reading the examples.
In the 2 weeks or so it took to read this, we have seen a huge swing in our toddler's behavior and decision making.
It's hard to rate this book with stars. We have been a 1, 2, 3, Magic family for years, but it has been years since I've read that book and brushed up on the philosophy. I decided we needed something to try to improve the way we interact with each other during stressful times such as tough homework days, getting out the door on time, crabby bedtimes etc. We've implemented some of the ideas in the book in the past couple of days with our kids and met with success. Although I agree overall with the message, some of the steps seem a little extreme to me right now. I don't know if I can allowing hitting, bullying and failing in school to meet only with natural consequences. I also don't know that I agree with the way allowance is handled. But I do like giving choices and letting the kids decide their course of action. I'll have to work on letting go of some control and keeping anger/frustration out of some of our more stressful interactions.
An excellent book for a couple of reasons:
1) An instruction manual for parents on a parenting method that gives kids the opportunity to learn from their own mistakes. Kids learn by owning the consequences of those mistakes, not the parents. 2) The second HALF of the book shows about 50 different scenarios (i.e. bedtime, chores, getting ready for school, homework, etc) and how to USE this method. This is the BRILLIANCE of this book. Every new parenting book is another method but few rarely show how to put their said method into practice. This one does, and thoroughly.
However, (and thus my reason for only 4 stars) I did disagree with a few points in this book. The authors never stated what age this really starts to sink in with kids. Most of their examples were for school age children all the way up through high school. I did not feel that the method would be as effective with toddlers, my current life situation. Because this method focuses a lot on thinking and problem-solving skills personally don't feel that toddlers would be intellectually ready for it.
Lastly, I do feel strongly about a child obeying the parent right away, no exceptions. This book doesn't necessarily agree. They firmly believe in reasoning with a child and "letting them think about their choices" whether they be good or bad. I'm not sure if those two theories can coexist, but I would love it if they did. My parents (and most people I know) were not parented in this way which also makes it challenging to imagine the reverse psychology of this method.
One last note, this would be a phenomenal read for an education major. It would be most effective used by parents, but second best in the classroom. As a former teacher, I wish I had known that some of the best classroom discipline ideas would come from parenting books.
1) An instruction manual for parents on a parenting method that gives kids the opportunity to learn from their own mistakes. Kids learn by owning the consequences of those mistakes, not the parents. 2) The second HALF of the book shows about 50 different scenarios (i.e. bedtime, chores, getting ready for school, homework, etc) and how to USE this method. This is the BRILLIANCE of this book. Every new parenting book is another method but few rarely show how to put their said method into practice. This one does, and thoroughly.
However, (and thus my reason for only 4 stars) I did disagree with a few points in this book. The authors never stated what age this really starts to sink in with kids. Most of their examples were for school age children all the way up through high school. I did not feel that the method would be as effective with toddlers, my current life situation. Because this method focuses a lot on thinking and problem-solving skills personally don't feel that toddlers would be intellectually ready for it.
Lastly, I do feel strongly about a child obeying the parent right away, no exceptions. This book doesn't necessarily agree. They firmly believe in reasoning with a child and "letting them think about their choices" whether they be good or bad. I'm not sure if those two theories can coexist, but I would love it if they did. My parents (and most people I know) were not parented in this way which also makes it challenging to imagine the reverse psychology of this method.
One last note, this would be a phenomenal read for an education major. It would be most effective used by parents, but second best in the classroom. As a former teacher, I wish I had known that some of the best classroom discipline ideas would come from parenting books.
This is one of the first parenting books I’ve read. There are some parts of the philosophy I see as effective but don’t expect to follow this in totality.
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
I really liked the parenting ideas presented in this book, especially that of allowing the natural consequences of children's actions to teach them.
My favorite comprehensive, practical parenting book. I do think it's helpful to have a philosophical and theological framework with which to interpet this system, and to know when to veer off the course. They are a bit heavy handed and also go a bit farther than I think most would / should in application. However, I think the practical examples are helpful to shift parents towards giving their children more responsibility.