Reviews

I appreciate this book for a lot of things: not only the fact that it’s plain good writing. To begin with, its representation of a queer small-town Appalachian experience resonated with me, so much that I had to take breaks between reading chunks of it because the chord it hit, realizing how much my experiences existing here mirrors Brian’s experience, was a tender one full of complicated grief and reverence. Our lives and experiences are not the same, but a lot of the treatment of Brian, and the way all of his actions, and his mere existence in his hometown, become politicized, reminded me of the way I’ve been treated as a trans person in a similar setting. The derision from medical staff and nurses in particular hit home.

But, further, contrary to some people who seem to think all AIDS stories are the same story and there’s no need for more of them, I believe it’s imperative to have a dearth of representations of different experiences with HIV/AIDS and particularly of the AIDS crisis. While “a man returns home to die” is not an unheard of premise, I think this particular iteration of it is important; the AIDS crisis was not exclusively a “big city” epidemic, and demonstrating how people and families in other situations were affected by it is important.

I also think the fact that this book unflinchingly shows the less easily digestible symptoms, like incontinence, is important. I find that media likes to portray HIV/AIDS in a sanitized manner (not unlike the almost glamorized media portrayal of tuberculosis). While I understand that not every story or medium could portray a less sanitized image on account of censorship etc, it’s still a glaring issue in media representations of the virus, which is how a majority of people without personal connection to a topic like this will learn of it.

Content Warnings

jsncnrd's review against another edition

Go to review page

5.0

This book destroyed me. I finished it 10 minutes ago and I am still crying. But it was one of the best I've read all year.

My heart aches for the thousands that lost their lives to AIDS while a government stood idly by in apathy. For the people whose existence was an inconvenience. For Brian, living in a world where even the most simple and trivial of actions - entering a pool, sitting in a diner, crossing the street - became politicized. Where getting in a pool equates to “shoving his homosexuality in our faces.”

Carter Sickels went for the emotional jugular with this book, and it worked -- to brutal effect. One of the saddest parts of this story was the way that 90% of the characters thought first about how a 24-year-old boy with a terminal, destructive illness affects THEM and their own image. The suffering of their own son, brother, etc. was an afterthought - if that, even. The book perfectly depicted how homophobic people center everything around themselves and display blatant and delusional ego-centrism.

I wish I could say that perhaps the treatment of Brian in the book was “exaggerated” for effect -- but it was not. It was 110% genuine. Brian was such a selfless and lovable character, which made the looming sense of dread throughout the book -- knowing fully well what would inevitably happen -- even more affecting.

The image I had in my mind throughout this book of this beautiful young boy trying his hardest to be unaffected by the pure evil afflicted upon him as he fell apart both physically and emotionally will stick with me for a long time. Maybe even more so because this is an authentic portrayal of the lives of some, if not even an outright biography of an AIDS patient in the 80’s.

This book took place in Ohio, which made it hit even harder (I also live in Columbus) -- because it is a FACT that people who live in small towns in Ohio treat people like this.

If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community or you consider yourself an ally, I say that this is required reading.

kaywhiteley's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I feel like I will never emotionally recover from this. Fantastic story and writing that does not shy away from the horrors of terminal illness and the evil of homophobia. It wasn't happy or hopeful and as difficult as it is to read, the AIDS epidemic was tragic and devastating and the stories of the people who suffered during it deserve to be honored.

Content Warnings