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madscientistcat's review against another edition
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Visceral, haunting, a queer gothic masterpiece.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Body horror, Injury/Injury detail, Violence, Death, Grief, Murder, Suicide, Alcohol, Classism, Cursing, Homophobia, Drug use, and Racism
Moderate: Death of parent, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual content, Gore, and Vomit
Minor: Cancer, Slavery, and Animal death
kers_tin's review against another edition
challenging
dark
mysterious
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Murder, Torture, Alcohol, Confinement, Drug use, Injury/Injury detail, and Suicide
Moderate: Racism and Homophobia
Minor: Slavery and Transphobia
khea's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Alcohol, Drug use, Blood, Death, Gore, Grief, Homophobia, Murder, Sexual content, and Violence
Moderate: Racism, Religious bigotry, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, and Cursing
Minor: Deadnaming, Slavery, Terminal illness, and Transphobia
nickoliver's review
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
It took me quite a while to finish this book. I think I was a little bit in a reading slump that exacerbated the slowness with which I read it. But for the most part, it was due to the slow pace and the writing, which was a bit challenging for me as a non-English native speaker sometimes.
I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it at first. Especially the first half talked around a lot - the scenes kept repeating, the supernatural was confusing, the plot stagnated, the characters infuriated a bit. It was hard to convince myself to pick up the story again, knowing the main character would slog through life and not really acknowledge the problematic nature of others (mainly Sam for a very long time). And for a while, all that was happening was Sam pressuring Andrew to come out with him, a lot of alcohol and drugs, and car races. However, I have read a review (this one by Chai) where they talked about how this was kind of justified, since it emphasised Andrew's aimlessness and his grief. He’d just lost the most important person in his life and was utterly lost; how was he supposed to care about anything but finding out properly what happened? But still, it didn’t make for an enthusiastic reader.
Thankfully, after a while, things started to come together. While it was fairly predictable where the mystery surrounding Eddie’s death was concerned - the villain was easy to clock as the villain quite early on, to the point where I almost convinced myself it couldn’t be them because that was way too obvious and I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to even expect a plot twist-, amusingly enough, I was way more invested and cared for the characters a lot more and suddenly had little trouble turning the pages (for a while at the beginning of the week, I literally read about twenty pages a day; later, that was tripled).
Like I mentioned above, the supernatural elements were a bit confusing. I understood the majority of it, but a lot of the time, I didn’t understand them while they were happening. And some parts I still don’t. It’s like I understood the overall theme of it, but if you asked me details about what exactly happened when Andrew was dealing with the revenant and being shown memories and waking up in deer carcasses or with slit wrists, I wouldn’t be able to explain it to you. That was a bit frustrating at times, since it was a pretty big part of the story.
My favourite thing about the book was the way Andrew grappled with his sexuality. At the beginning of the book, he wasn’t aware that he liked men and that he'd been in love with Eddie. Or rather, he seemed to have suppressed it so hard he wasn’t even aware that’s what he did. But when he went to Nashville to try and find out what happened to Eddie, it turned out that everyone thought he and Eddie had been a couple, and in all the six months he’d been there alone, Eddie’d never bothered to correct anyone. And that opened the dam inside of him - once he was made aware of it, it spilled out of him and he couldn’t put it back.
It was just written about so well! So much about his past explained why he and Eddie never went there, why it went unacknowledged. There was also a character named Del who added an interesting insight into their relationship. She was Andrew’s ex-girlfriend but had also been with Eddie at the same time as well. At one point in the book, she confronted Andrew about it and basically told him that they’d used her as a way to be with each other without having to be upfront about it, and that she thought if Eddie hadn’t died, they would’ve figured it out eventually. Hearing the way she and others talked about them was absolutely painful . It was a case of what-ifs, a whole lot of impossibilities. Andrew’s grief about losing Eddie and simultaneously realising what he’s lost along with him was raw and articulated so devastatingly, it made my insides clench with heartache.
I also appreciated that Eddie wasn’t painted as this perfect boy who would’ve made Andrew happy for the rest of his life if they’d gotten together. There were a lot of things said about him that made me side-eye him a little, which I didn’t like at first, but then I realised I kind of did? He wasn’t the perfect victim that was written about in a almost otherworldly way. I do think they would’ve been together for probably eternity, just because their connection dated so far back, but it wouldn’t have been a picture perfect relationship. I do sometimes feel like I wanted a little bit more of Eddie - maybe some flashbacks that would’ve shown me more of their dynamic, since that was the part that caught me off-guard a little sometimes -, but it didn’t bother me all too much.
There was a little romance between Andrew and another male character, which I really wasn’t on-board at first; this other character had a lot of (implied and shown) racist and homophobic friends, which was something that was never really addressed once the romantic interest was explicitly there. But surprisingly, I did warm up to him. I also liked the way their relationship was built up, because it wasn’t all too obvious from the start that he was going to be a romantic prospect? At least not obvious to me, because he wasn’t really on my radar for that. In any way, he was mostly just a means to an end at first and read as just really bad news, and while the start of their romance was a bit sudden, it didn’t completely come out of the blue. It was just a lot more subtly built up than in other books.
The side characters were fascinating and fleshed-out. There was Riley, Sam’s cousin and Andrew’s roommate, who helped with the latter’s quest for answers and had himself a penchant for the supernatural. He was also trans, and I honestly loved the way Mandelo wrote about that. It was just things like a noticing of top surgery scars, hints that Riley used to have a different name, that he'd shown up on Sam's doorstep with a shaved head. That was it. There was never a big deal made out of anything, no “A-Z of Being Trans”, no Riley explaining himself in big fat letters so that even cis readers will understand what was going on. It was so nonchalantly that I even convinced myself for a short while that I interpreted Riley as trans but that that wasn’t actually what Mandelo implied.
The villain of the story was interesting, because they weren't so obvious at first. At the contrary, the first time they showed up, I even complimented the tactful and kind way they talked to Andrew. Like I mentioned above, it was fairly in-your-face later on, but it wasn’t at first, and they weren’t acting like a villain in an obvious way even later on. You knew they were based on subtle things like the way they treated certain people, and their disgustingly racist family history , not simply based on their actions. They weren't going around using slurs or behaving ugly or reciting obvious villain monologues.
An aspect of the story I really appreciated was the criticism of racism in academia (especially for a book that’s adjacent to dark academia a bit). There was a side character named West who was supposed to mentor Andrew. He’d been at the school for almost seven years and his dissertation kept getting rejected. It was very obvious that it was due to racism, especially once you learnt about Troth’s family and her house being a former plantation home , but you still had Andrew not really grasping that. He never reacted to the few quips West made about it, and Riley fought with him for seemingly no reason (really, even to the end, I’m still not sure why they didn’t get along). And when Andrew suspected him of murdering Eddie, it was always pretty obvious that it wasn’t Eddie West had a problem with but Troth and the way they treated him, but Andrew overlooked that a lot. It was frustrating, but it was also realistic, and honestly, it did stop the story from being a white saviour trope, so that was probably good? After all, at the end of the book, West worked on getting justice himself, he didn't have Andrew or Riley fight his battles for him.
Overall, this was a bit of a challenging trip and a half. The characters were infuriating at times and the book was pretty repetitive and slow for like, at least half of it, but I loved the way it explored internalised homophobia, masculinity, and coming to terms with being too late. It made me feel very raw and emotional at times. Also, while I gave the book 4.5 stars at first, I bumped that up to 5 stars because I literally didn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the entire year (for context, this was the very first book I read in 2023).
I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it at first. Especially the first half talked around a lot - the scenes kept repeating, the supernatural was confusing, the plot stagnated, the characters infuriated a bit. It was hard to convince myself to pick up the story again, knowing the main character would slog through life and not really acknowledge the problematic nature of others (mainly Sam for a very long time). And for a while, all that was happening was Sam pressuring Andrew to come out with him, a lot of alcohol and drugs, and car races. However, I have read a review (this one by Chai) where they talked about how this was kind of justified, since it emphasised Andrew's aimlessness and his grief. He’d just lost the most important person in his life and was utterly lost; how was he supposed to care about anything but finding out properly what happened? But still, it didn’t make for an enthusiastic reader.
Thankfully, after a while, things started to come together. While it was fairly predictable where the mystery surrounding Eddie’s death was concerned - the villain was easy to clock as the villain quite early on, to the point where I almost convinced myself it couldn’t be them because that was way too obvious and I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to even expect a plot twist-, amusingly enough, I was way more invested and cared for the characters a lot more and suddenly had little trouble turning the pages (for a while at the beginning of the week, I literally read about twenty pages a day; later, that was tripled).
Like I mentioned above, the supernatural elements were a bit confusing. I understood the majority of it, but a lot of the time, I didn’t understand them while they were happening. And some parts I still don’t. It’s like I understood the overall theme of it, but if you asked me details about what exactly happened when Andrew was dealing with the revenant and being shown memories and waking up in deer carcasses or with slit wrists, I wouldn’t be able to explain it to you. That was a bit frustrating at times, since it was a pretty big part of the story.
My favourite thing about the book was the way Andrew grappled with his sexuality. At the beginning of the book, he wasn’t aware that he liked men and that he'd been in love with Eddie. Or rather, he seemed to have suppressed it so hard he wasn’t even aware that’s what he did. But when he went to Nashville to try and find out what happened to Eddie, it turned out that everyone thought he and Eddie had been a couple, and in all the six months he’d been there alone, Eddie’d never bothered to correct anyone. And that opened the dam inside of him - once he was made aware of it, it spilled out of him and he couldn’t put it back.
It was just written about so well! So much about his past explained why he and Eddie never went there, why it went unacknowledged. There was also a character named Del who added an interesting insight into their relationship. She was Andrew’s ex-girlfriend but had also been with Eddie at the same time as well.
I also appreciated that Eddie wasn’t painted as this perfect boy who would’ve made Andrew happy for the rest of his life if they’d gotten together. There were a lot of things said about him that made me side-eye him a little, which I didn’t like at first, but then I realised I kind of did? He wasn’t the perfect victim that was written about in a almost otherworldly way.
There was a little romance between Andrew and another male character, which I really wasn’t on-board at first; this other character had a lot of (implied and shown) racist and homophobic friends, which was something that was never really addressed once the romantic interest was explicitly there. But surprisingly, I did warm up to him. I also liked the way their relationship was built up, because it wasn’t all too obvious from the start that he was going to be a romantic prospect? At least not obvious to me, because he wasn’t really on my radar for that. In any way, he was mostly just a means to an end at first and read as just really bad news, and while the start of their romance was a bit sudden, it didn’t completely come out of the blue. It was just a lot more subtly built up than in other books.
The side characters were fascinating and fleshed-out. There was Riley, Sam’s cousin and Andrew’s roommate, who helped with the latter’s quest for answers and had himself a penchant for the supernatural. He was also trans, and I honestly loved the way Mandelo wrote about that. It was just things like a noticing of top surgery scars, hints that Riley used to have a different name, that he'd shown up on Sam's doorstep with a shaved head. That was it. There was never a big deal made out of anything, no “A-Z of Being Trans”, no Riley explaining himself in big fat letters so that even cis readers will understand what was going on. It was so nonchalantly that I even convinced myself for a short while that I interpreted Riley as trans but that that wasn’t actually what Mandelo implied.
The villain of the story was interesting, because they weren't so obvious at first. At the contrary, the first time they showed up, I even complimented the tactful and kind way they talked to Andrew. Like I mentioned above, it was fairly in-your-face later on, but it wasn’t at first, and they weren’t acting like a villain in an obvious way even later on. You knew they were based on subtle things like the way they treated certain people, and
An aspect of the story I really appreciated was the criticism of racism in academia (especially for a book that’s adjacent to dark academia a bit). There was a side character named West who was supposed to mentor Andrew. He’d been at the school for almost seven years and his dissertation kept getting rejected. It was very obvious that it was due to racism, especially once you learnt about
Overall, this was a bit of a challenging trip and a half. The characters were infuriating at times and the book was pretty repetitive and slow for like, at least half of it, but I loved the way it explored internalised homophobia, masculinity, and coming to terms with being too late. It made me feel very raw and emotional at times. Also, while I gave the book 4.5 stars at first, I bumped that up to 5 stars because I literally didn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the entire year (for context, this was the very first book I read in 2023).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Blood, Death, Racism, Slavery, Drug use, Grief, Homophobia, Murder, Sexual content, Suicide, and Violence
Minor: Transphobia, Death of parent, Car accident, and Child abuse
junisreading's review
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
I'm completely raw and filled with melancholy. I'll never be the same person again. They all deserved better.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gore, Sexual content, Death, Grief, Body horror, Suicide, Murder, Violence, Drug use, and Alcohol
Moderate: Homophobia and Racism
Minor: Slavery
bootsmom3's review
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Animal death, Blood, Confinement, Grief, Suicide, Violence, Murder, Racism, Self harm, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Gore, Homophobia, Kidnapping, Medical trauma, Sexual content, Alcohol, Body horror, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, and Mental illness
Minor: Vomit and Slavery
foreverinastory's review against another edition
dark
emotional
mysterious
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
What a ride.
Rep: white achillean-questioning male MC with anxiety, white queer male love interest, white queer polyamorous trans male side character, various queer coded side characters, Black male side character (sexuality not indicated).
CWs: Suicide, death, blood, grief, murder, drug use (smoking and snorting), violence, body horror (including haunting/possession), gore, alcohol consumption, homophobia/homomisia, sexual content, injury/injury detail, vomit, panic attacks, self-harm, cursing, racism (systemic and interpersonal), drug abuse, alcoholism, torture, toxic relationship, toxic friendship. Moderate: confinement, kidnapping, mental illness, death of parent, animal death, biphobia/bimisia, car accident, medical content/trauma, suicidal thought, suicide attempt, psychosis, cancer, fire, transphobia/transmisia, terminal illness. Minor: mentions of slavery.
Rep: white achillean-questioning male MC with anxiety, white queer male love interest, white queer polyamorous trans male side character, various queer coded side characters, Black male side character (sexuality not indicated).
CWs: Suicide, death, blood, grief, murder, drug use (smoking and snorting), violence, body horror (including haunting/possession), gore, alcohol consumption, homophobia/homomisia, sexual content, injury/injury detail, vomit, panic attacks, self-harm, cursing, racism (systemic and interpersonal), drug abuse, alcoholism, torture, toxic relationship, toxic friendship. Moderate: confinement, kidnapping, mental illness, death of parent, animal death, biphobia/bimisia, car accident, medical content/trauma, suicidal thought, suicide attempt, psychosis, cancer, fire, transphobia/transmisia, terminal illness. Minor: mentions of slavery.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Cursing, Torture, Toxic friendship, Blood, Alcoholism, Sexual content, Death, Murder, Suicide, Grief, Drug use, Violence, Drug abuse, Gore, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Toxic relationship, Body horror, Homophobia, Alcohol, Vomit, and Self harm
Moderate: Death of parent, Animal death, Cancer, Medical content, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Confinement, Mental illness, Suicide attempt, Kidnapping, Biphobia, Fire/Fire injury, Transphobia, Car accident, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , and Medical trauma
Minor: Slavery
kkulhannie's review
dark
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Animal death, Blood, Body horror, Confinement, Death, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Gore, Grief, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Murder, Panic attacks/disorders, Outing, Physical abuse, Racism, Vomit, Violence, Toxic relationship, Torture, Suicide, Self harm, and Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Minor: Slavery
bookcrushin's review
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
dark messy masc boys in grad school working to solve a mystery from childhood and more recently...
Trauma, death, mysterious curses, and spectral spookiness! Highly recommended this queer spooky story! Serious CWs looks those up if you’re into scary books but be safe.
Trauma, death, mysterious curses, and spectral spookiness! Highly recommended this queer spooky story! Serious CWs looks those up if you’re into scary books but be safe.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Body horror, Death, Drug use, Gore, and Grief
Moderate: Medical trauma, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Torture, Transphobia, Violence, and Vomit
Minor: Abandonment, Alcohol, Animal death, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, and Slavery
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