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tinybluepixel's review
adventurous
dark
emotional
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
3.5 stars. And once again, the need to categorize everything as either YA or Adult strikes.
Man, I really wished I could give this book five stars, but this being called a YA book really makes me cringe. Because this is not for teenagers. This is not for young adults. This is a book that could be severely triggering for some people, and it also carries with it a message that can be extremely harmful to young people with mental illness.
But let's start with some positives, and really, there are a lot! I personally love Ava Reid and her writing style to death. She just has a way of creating an athmosphere that is unparalleled in modern literature. Her characterization - top notch. I would kill for Preston, and I would die for Effy.
I loved the whole storyline of you-should-never-meet-your-heroes. It felt like watching Effy grow up the more she learned about her hero, and keeping her company as she slowly begins to combine the image of the glowing, shiny author with the disgusting old man he really was. It feels a lot like growing up, myself, and I think it's so, so necessary, especially in today's era of celebrity worship.
I see a weakness in worldbuilding, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing all the time - sometimes you just wish things were expanded upon. Why is literature, out of all things, the thing that women aren't allowed to study? How do you get from literature to architecture being the second most prestigeous thing to study? Who makes those rules, who decides them? How does a society who values literature like that differ from our own, which mainly focuses on STEM?
I loved the idea of the Sleeper Museum. See, that's what gets me going - something specific, something cultural. But who came up with that idea? Why does a building full of dead Southerners end up in a Northern city? Ava, I need more. I need more worldbuilding.
Furthermore, I'm really confused as to what time this book takes place in. Because we have cars and cigarettes, but no TV or radio. We're in a time that allows women to go to universities and work, but they're clearly seen as secondary citizens.
I just have so many questions.
Okay. Trigger Warnings for sexual assault, rape, severe mental illness, and drug use below.
Here's what's really bothering me about this book. And maybe I should just say that I am also severely mentally ill and are currently being treated for an addiction to sleeping pills.
Effy is also seen as severely mentally ill. She takes sleeping pills every night (even swallows them dry a lot, which is something you should never do!) and cannot sleep without them. (I relate.) She takes what she calls "pink pills" to get rid of what the doctors call hallucinations, which, spoiler alert, turn out to be real!!! Wow, what a stunning plot twist! And then, when all is over and the big bad evil guy is defeated, she just cold turkey stops taking all of her medication and all is well. Because of course that's how it works. And when she forgets her sleeping pills on a trip, being next to her love interest calms her down so much that she is able to sleep! Hurray!
That is dangerous. If you are on medications like Effy's, I assume some kind of anti-psychotic in addition to sleeping pills, you cannot stop cold turkey without severe side effects. Out of my own experience, if you forget your sleeping pills after taking them every night for that long, you don't just nod off to your lover's silky voice, you WILL be crawling across the floor and ripping apart everything you own to find one. You WILL be looking into every pocket of every article of clothing you brought along in case you ever put a pill in there, even if you know you won't find anything, because you're desparate. And in the end, you probably will end up spending your night on the bathroom floor, hugging the toilet bowl.
So, inaccurate portrayal of sleeping pill addiction. Okay, I could live with that. It's not glamorous and it's not romantic. I understand that.
But this message of the-doctors-don't-understand-you and giving you antipsychotics even though what you're saying is actually real - that's dangerous. Just imagine a teen reading this. A young girl, like Effy. She's being treated for mental illness. She takes antidepressants and antipsychotics. She reads this book. She might come to the conclusion that her doctors are talking bullshit. She might not! But teenagers are easy to influence, and might already be inclined to believe that no one understands them. I'm just so worried. Maybe I'm worrying too much. Maybe I'm not giving teens today enough credit.
But even if this wasn't in the book, even if Effy wasn't taking enormous amounts of pills throughout the entire story, I still wouldn't call this book YA. Nothing about this is YA. There is graphic sexual assault scenes and rape scenes that while they do not occur on page, have an enormous amount of influence on Effy. Almost every male she comes in contact with (and those are quite a lot) uses sexually charged language towards her. I'm actually not even sure if this book passes the Bechdel test, because if two women talk, they always talk about men. But it's honestly tiring for man after man to appear on page and immediately start talking about disgusting things about Effy. She's so pretty. She's so girlish. She would look so pretty on my lap. (Ugh).
I wish so badly this book was categorized as a normal novel and not "Ava Reid's big YA debut!!!". It just feels like so much bad marketing. And ultimately, I think that this will lead to a lot of disappointed and confused readers.
Man, I really wished I could give this book five stars, but this being called a YA book really makes me cringe. Because this is not for teenagers. This is not for young adults. This is a book that could be severely triggering for some people, and it also carries with it a message that can be extremely harmful to young people with mental illness.
But let's start with some positives, and really, there are a lot! I personally love Ava Reid and her writing style to death. She just has a way of creating an athmosphere that is unparalleled in modern literature. Her characterization - top notch. I would kill for Preston, and I would die for Effy.
I loved the whole storyline of you-should-never-meet-your-heroes. It felt like watching Effy grow up the more she learned about her hero, and keeping her company as she slowly begins to combine the image of the glowing, shiny author with the disgusting old man he really was. It feels a lot like growing up, myself, and I think it's so, so necessary, especially in today's era of celebrity worship.
I see a weakness in worldbuilding, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing all the time - sometimes you just wish things were expanded upon. Why is literature, out of all things, the thing that women aren't allowed to study? How do you get from literature to architecture being the second most prestigeous thing to study? Who makes those rules, who decides them? How does a society who values literature like that differ from our own, which mainly focuses on STEM?
I loved the idea of the Sleeper Museum. See, that's what gets me going - something specific, something cultural. But who came up with that idea? Why does a building full of dead Southerners end up in a Northern city? Ava, I need more. I need more worldbuilding.
Furthermore, I'm really confused as to what time this book takes place in. Because we have cars and cigarettes, but no TV or radio. We're in a time that allows women to go to universities and work, but they're clearly seen as secondary citizens.
I just have so many questions.
Okay. Trigger Warnings for sexual assault, rape, severe mental illness, and drug use below.
Here's what's really bothering me about this book. And maybe I should just say that I am also severely mentally ill and are currently being treated for an addiction to sleeping pills.
Effy is also seen as severely mentally ill. She takes sleeping pills every night (even swallows them dry a lot, which is something you should never do!) and cannot sleep without them. (I relate.) She takes what she calls "pink pills" to get rid of what the doctors call hallucinations, which, spoiler alert, turn out to be real!!! Wow, what a stunning plot twist! And then, when all is over and the big bad evil guy is defeated, she just cold turkey stops taking all of her medication and all is well. Because of course that's how it works. And when she forgets her sleeping pills on a trip, being next to her love interest calms her down so much that she is able to sleep! Hurray!
That is dangerous. If you are on medications like Effy's, I assume some kind of anti-psychotic in addition to sleeping pills, you cannot stop cold turkey without severe side effects. Out of my own experience, if you forget your sleeping pills after taking them every night for that long, you don't just nod off to your lover's silky voice, you WILL be crawling across the floor and ripping apart everything you own to find one. You WILL be looking into every pocket of every article of clothing you brought along in case you ever put a pill in there, even if you know you won't find anything, because you're desparate. And in the end, you probably will end up spending your night on the bathroom floor, hugging the toilet bowl.
So, inaccurate portrayal of sleeping pill addiction. Okay, I could live with that. It's not glamorous and it's not romantic. I understand that.
But this message of the-doctors-don't-understand-you and giving you antipsychotics even though what you're saying is actually real - that's dangerous. Just imagine a teen reading this. A young girl, like Effy. She's being treated for mental illness. She takes antidepressants and antipsychotics. She reads this book. She might come to the conclusion that her doctors are talking bullshit. She might not! But teenagers are easy to influence, and might already be inclined to believe that no one understands them. I'm just so worried. Maybe I'm worrying too much. Maybe I'm not giving teens today enough credit.
But even if this wasn't in the book, even if Effy wasn't taking enormous amounts of pills throughout the entire story, I still wouldn't call this book YA. Nothing about this is YA. There is graphic sexual assault scenes and rape scenes that while they do not occur on page, have an enormous amount of influence on Effy. Almost every male she comes in contact with (and those are quite a lot) uses sexually charged language towards her. I'm actually not even sure if this book passes the Bechdel test, because if two women talk, they always talk about men. But it's honestly tiring for man after man to appear on page and immediately start talking about disgusting things about Effy. She's so pretty. She's so girlish. She would look so pretty on my lap. (Ugh).
I wish so badly this book was categorized as a normal novel and not "Ava Reid's big YA debut!!!". It just feels like so much bad marketing. And ultimately, I think that this will lead to a lot of disappointed and confused readers.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Death of parent, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment