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hannahcpk's review
5.0
Highly recommended, fantastic book. Will be going into my favourites folder which also acts as a re-read folder.
If you are a person who is looking for something more solid than 'positive thinking for manifesting good vibes only', and/or believes that there is a way to live life which does not expect you to be on the calm/happy switch all the time yet is still meaningful, this book is for you.
Oliver Burkeman's writing flows well and brings you along page-by-page without ever being boring. It explains Stoicism much better than most contemporary books written in the past 3 years about Stoic living, and also brings in philosophies of Buddhism without being cringey (think white person goes on silent meditation Buddhist retreat, comes back and writes about how life changing it was etc).
My favourite chapter is the one on looking at Death through the lens of a constant acceptance of the mysteries of life because I resonated with the feeling of middle-of-the-night-death-panic. This chapter helped me to understand myself better and how I could change my perception towards living and death.
5/5 stars.
If you are a person who is looking for something more solid than 'positive thinking for manifesting good vibes only', and/or believes that there is a way to live life which does not expect you to be on the calm/happy switch all the time yet is still meaningful, this book is for you.
Oliver Burkeman's writing flows well and brings you along page-by-page without ever being boring. It explains Stoicism much better than most contemporary books written in the past 3 years about Stoic living, and also brings in philosophies of Buddhism without being cringey (think white person goes on silent meditation Buddhist retreat, comes back and writes about how life changing it was etc).
My favourite chapter is the one on looking at Death through the lens of a constant acceptance of the mysteries of life because I resonated with the feeling of middle-of-the-night-death-panic. This chapter helped me to understand myself better and how I could change my perception towards living and death.
5/5 stars.
zanna_'s review
4.0
This book contains:
Stoicism, Buddhism, Psychology, Meditation, etc.
as relevant ideas and actionable techniques.
"Anyone can become somewhat Stoic, or a bit more Buddhist, or practise memento mori a little more frequently; unlike far too many selfhelp schemes, which purport to be comprehensive guides to life, the negative path to happiness isn’t an all-or-nothing affair. True negative capability entails moderation and balance and refraining from too much effortful struggling - including in the practice of negative capability. ‘Proficiency and the results of proficiency’, wrote Aldous Huxley, ‘come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, of combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent Unknown Quantity may take hold.’"
Stoicism, Buddhism, Psychology, Meditation, etc.
as relevant ideas and actionable techniques.
"Anyone can become somewhat Stoic, or a bit more Buddhist, or practise memento mori a little more frequently; unlike far too many selfhelp schemes, which purport to be comprehensive guides to life, the negative path to happiness isn’t an all-or-nothing affair. True negative capability entails moderation and balance and refraining from too much effortful struggling - including in the practice of negative capability. ‘Proficiency and the results of proficiency’, wrote Aldous Huxley, ‘come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, of combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent Unknown Quantity may take hold.’"
mcribsy13's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
moominbit's review against another edition
5.0
“True security lies in the unrestrained embrace of insecurity - in the recognition that we never really stand on solid ground, and never can.”
― Oliver Burkeman, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking
I first read this book in 2016 when I graduated from university and found myself stuck in a nasty post-grad depression with intense feelings of failure, despite having actually graduated and done well. It helped me immensely back then by showing me that the only constant in life is chaos and that the only control to be attempted is a surrender to the knowledge of human mortality and a practiced acceptance of chaos itself.
It taught me to stop fighting the chaos, cause you'll only make it worse.
Stop avoiding failure, because it will only hurt more if you run away from your failures instead of owning them and seeing them for the help and knowledge they can provide.
Stop hiding on the bright side and turn around and face the shadow.
And more often than not facing the darker side of life was far less painful than I thought it would be.
A little over 4 years later and I find myself rereading this book because in the post 2020/Covid-19 constant-stream-of-trauma-enducing-crisies I needed to be reminded of this once again.
This book never claims to have "the answer".
If anything it only adds more mysteries to your life.
But, as this book keeps showing me, we all at times need mysteries and questions more than we need fixed goals and closed off answers that might not match up with actual reality.
Turn around and look at the darker side of life and face what lurks there.
You don't have have the answer to life, you just have to be willing to look, question and face the uncertainty of not knowing everything. Of never knowing everything.
After 2020 we can all stand to be reminded that chaos often brings about opportunities and that failure doesn't have to be a dreaded end to all endevours, but merely you pushing at the limits of your current capabilities (like the freakin' book says). And then next time going beyond them til you meet the next set of limits. And so forth.
Failure is painful, but useful. You break, you heal, you grow.
And like Beckett said you can't go on, yet you go on.
So if you feel shaken by the past year (or by life in general) and find yourself ready to punch the next person who tells you to "just look on the bright side" and "stay positive!" this book is for you. It might help you to keep going.
― Oliver Burkeman, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking
I first read this book in 2016 when I graduated from university and found myself stuck in a nasty post-grad depression with intense feelings of failure, despite having actually graduated and done well. It helped me immensely back then by showing me that the only constant in life is chaos and that the only control to be attempted is a surrender to the knowledge of human mortality and a practiced acceptance of chaos itself.
It taught me to stop fighting the chaos, cause you'll only make it worse.
Stop avoiding failure, because it will only hurt more if you run away from your failures instead of owning them and seeing them for the help and knowledge they can provide.
Stop hiding on the bright side and turn around and face the shadow.
And more often than not facing the darker side of life was far less painful than I thought it would be.
A little over 4 years later and I find myself rereading this book because in the post 2020/Covid-19 constant-stream-of-trauma-enducing-crisies I needed to be reminded of this once again.
This book never claims to have "the answer".
If anything it only adds more mysteries to your life.
But, as this book keeps showing me, we all at times need mysteries and questions more than we need fixed goals and closed off answers that might not match up with actual reality.
Turn around and look at the darker side of life and face what lurks there.
You don't have have the answer to life, you just have to be willing to look, question and face the uncertainty of not knowing everything. Of never knowing everything.
After 2020 we can all stand to be reminded that chaos often brings about opportunities and that failure doesn't have to be a dreaded end to all endevours, but merely you pushing at the limits of your current capabilities (like the freakin' book says). And then next time going beyond them til you meet the next set of limits. And so forth.
Failure is painful, but useful. You break, you heal, you grow.
And like Beckett said you can't go on, yet you go on.
So if you feel shaken by the past year (or by life in general) and find yourself ready to punch the next person who tells you to "just look on the bright side" and "stay positive!" this book is for you. It might help you to keep going.
missmansanas's review against another edition
4.0
"For one thing, who says happiness is a valid goal in the first place? Religions have never placed much explicit emphasis on it, at least as far as this world is concerned; philosophers have certainly not been unanimous in endorsing it, either."
Originality: 5/5
Content: 4/5
Language, style and readability: 3/5
Impact: 4/5
Overall rating: 4/5
An anti-self-help book with immersive research into happiness from the perspective of diff philosophies. The thesis: it's the very frenzied pursuit of happiness that actually deters us from it, and there is an alternative, "negative path" that will lead us to true fulfillment.
Burkeman writes as an antagonist to what he calls "the cult of optimism," summed up in the opening chapter by an image of a large-scale, motivational seminar declaring that the key to success is to "Remove the word 'impossible' from your vocabulary."
A lot of optimism apologists will find themselves deeply uncomfortable with this book, so it's not for even the faintly closed-minded. Keep an open mind and heart, however, and you'll gather a lot of insight from The Antidote. The text takes apart "positive thinking" habits that are ingrained in us, even the most self-proclaimed negative thinkers. It takes down, for example, positive visualization, the law of attraction, focusing on the good, and even goal setting.
Even if it will likely be shelved with other self-help books, it's hard to classify it as one of them because it runs counter to every self-help book you've ever read about happiness. It's fun to see a book criticize its own genre, reaching a new level of insight and entertainment.
Burkeman mixes in anecdotes and study citations, but can't keep it consistent. I found myself wishing he'd break the research analysis a little more often with his own perspectives just to make it feel a lot less like reading a thesis paper. There are also sections I found myself passionately agreeing with and sections I found myself dismissing, "Eh. To each her own."
Each chapter is illuminating with a different school of thought to approach what the author calls "the negative path to happiness." And while they're all good, sometimes Burkeman forgets to return to the point of what this has to do with happiness and positive thinking. Some arguments also go so far as to be extremist and absolutist. My favorite portions were the philosophical aspects, and my least favorites were the more corporate-leaning perspectives.
One of the best parts of the book, now that I think about it, is his use of examples. Burkeman is good at noting down relatable and deeply human, everyday examples to illustrate his points.
I guess it makes sense that the chapters begin with philosophy and then dwell into scientific/corporate examples, but I found the transition somewhat anticlimactic. I quickly got bored sometime during or after the chapter on goal setting, which was pretty underdeveloped itself.
I first picked it up because I thought the subheading was funny and very "me," but it turned out to be seriously important and relevant. I tried in the past to hop on the positivity bandwagon, hoping it will relieve some of the depression in me, but it never really stuck. I'd kept the law of attraction, positive visualization and affirmations on my Future Things To Try list, but they remained there because I never felt any confidence that they might work. This book confirmed so, and also gave me some rationale as to why.
For sure, the book achieved its goal of dismantling the current takes on happiness, but how it did so gets a bit confusing. For starters, I think (and I'm going to have to re-read to confirm this) the book doesn't quite establish the parameters of happiness, sometimes alternating between individual happiness and the collective happiness of a group or society. It hints at fulfillment and tranquility but doesn't quite decide which one definition it's sticking with. I think this made it harder for me to take the later concepts and make them actionable.
I'd for sure still highly recommend this book to anyone in the realm of reading non-fiction and self-help books.
regalalgorithm's review
3.0
(via audio book)
A wannabe anti self-help book about the 'negative path to happiness', this has some good ideas but unfortunately commits all the same sins of the self help literature it bellitles. Those being completely unnecessary repetition, dubious use of anecdotes to support ideas, broad claims that are easy to take apart (goals are bad?), tiresome 'I went and saw this myself' sections, and overall bad argumentation and writing. It starts off fun enough with the mocking of a positive thinking conference, and a good introduction to stoicism, but very soon it's ' look how radical this is' posturing gets old. The last few chapters are a downright chore, since those focus on the less useful notions of learning from your failures (old news), goals maybe being bad (if you overdo them, duh), and thinking about death being good for you (really?).
For someone who does not know much about meditation, mindfulness, or broadly likes self help writing and want something different this might be good. For those, like me, who wanted to get an intro to stoicism and it's ideas, look elsewhere.
A wannabe anti self-help book about the 'negative path to happiness', this has some good ideas but unfortunately commits all the same sins of the self help literature it bellitles. Those being completely unnecessary repetition, dubious use of anecdotes to support ideas, broad claims that are easy to take apart (goals are bad?), tiresome 'I went and saw this myself' sections, and overall bad argumentation and writing. It starts off fun enough with the mocking of a positive thinking conference, and a good introduction to stoicism, but very soon it's ' look how radical this is' posturing gets old. The last few chapters are a downright chore, since those focus on the less useful notions of learning from your failures (old news), goals maybe being bad (if you overdo them, duh), and thinking about death being good for you (really?).
For someone who does not know much about meditation, mindfulness, or broadly likes self help writing and want something different this might be good. For those, like me, who wanted to get an intro to stoicism and it's ideas, look elsewhere.