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charliemudd's review against another edition
4.0
This book does what Magid's Ending The Pursuit of Happiness didn't do. It explains a difficult subject without resorting to oxymoronic or intentionally vague language. (In fact, Burkeman even interviews Magid to try to gain clarity into his brand of Buddhism.) In "The Antidote", Burkeman explains how to get value out of negativity using approaches that range from the teachings of the Stoics to the celebration of the day of the dead in Mexico. He extensively covers the superficiality and even danger of using positivity as a self-help mechanism. My only complaints are that a few of his analogies seem forced, and the book feels a little short; it feels like there is more to be said on the topic. Otherwise this book has many useful techniques that I really believe I will build into my life.
cygnoir's review against another edition
3.0
Overall, this is a solidly constructed, journalist's take on the negative path to happiness. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it -- I don't think I was supposed to -- but parts were informative.
pranavroh's review against another edition
4.0
This book isnt a self help book. IT mulls over the human condition and suggests possible avenues of philosophical exploration. Its not for everyone. A lot of what was said resonated personally for me and I feel this book has important things to say for those willing to listen.
Ultimately this is a wonderful book, difficult to categorise, helpful, and one that encapsulates the human condition beautifully. Do read it.
Ultimately this is a wonderful book, difficult to categorise, helpful, and one that encapsulates the human condition beautifully. Do read it.
rachelkc's review against another edition
5.0
The subtitle says it all: "Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking"...this is a self-help book that subverts the ooey gooey "if you can believe it, you can achieve it" messages.
First thoughts: Yes. This book is for me. I struggle with goals - setting them, sticking to them, believing in them. It's especially challenging as a person who loves committing to, well, challenges. I've done happiness challenges for several years, and while I learned a lot, I can't say I'm any more (or less) "happy" than I was without the challenges.
What about Happiness?: We crave happiness, but we aren't very good at achieving it - despite all of our trying with education, money, more stuff, self-help books, etc...we're still not quite happy. Some of us, yes, but not as a whole. What gives?
A quote: "There are good reasons to believe that the whole notion of 'seeking happiness' is flawed to begin with. For one thing, who says happiness is a valid goal in the first place?" -p6
Okay...so what are our options?: In the face of the paradox of happiness, we can continue to pursue futile solutions, give up, OR take the "negative path" to "happiness" - that is, we can "enjoy uncertainty, embrace insecurity, and value death." -p7-8
More about these Negative Paths:
Stoicism: tranquility through calm indifference of circumstances - examine negative emotions and experiences and decide to be tranquil.
Buddhism: non-attachment to positive and/or negative thoughts - don't cling to or avoid anything.
Insecurity: it's not something to confront - recognize that life is insecurity.
Failure: stretching past your current limit - it's a good thing.
"To fully embrace the experience of failure, not merely to tolerate it as a stepping stone to success, is to abandon this constant straining never to put a foot wrong. It is to relax." -p173
Goals: stop pushing things to 5yrs in the future - enjoy your work in the present.
"...goal-free living simply makes for happier humans." -p95
Goals, continued: The goal chapter was my favorite - I am constantly changing my "goals" and letting them adapt to where I am at the moment. I've learned to be flexible in the path I take to an objective and in changing the objective itself. It's much easier to take action based on who I am right now instead of "where I see myself in 5 years" - 5 years ago I did not see myself a) engaged, b) applying to grad school, c) finishing up a teaching fellowship...and yet here I am, happy as a clam that these things are all true.
Recommended for: everyone. Unless you've already figured all this out, and even then, still read this to affirm your decisions to fail big, pursue your curiosities, and live in composed insecurity.
Final thoughts in a quote: "You can have a broad sense of direction without a specific goal or a precise vision of the future. I think of it like jazz, like improvisation. It's all about meandering with purpose." -Steve Shapiro, p96
First thoughts: Yes. This book is for me. I struggle with goals - setting them, sticking to them, believing in them. It's especially challenging as a person who loves committing to, well, challenges. I've done happiness challenges for several years, and while I learned a lot, I can't say I'm any more (or less) "happy" than I was without the challenges.
What about Happiness?: We crave happiness, but we aren't very good at achieving it - despite all of our trying with education, money, more stuff, self-help books, etc...we're still not quite happy. Some of us, yes, but not as a whole. What gives?
A quote: "There are good reasons to believe that the whole notion of 'seeking happiness' is flawed to begin with. For one thing, who says happiness is a valid goal in the first place?" -p6
Okay...so what are our options?: In the face of the paradox of happiness, we can continue to pursue futile solutions, give up, OR take the "negative path" to "happiness" - that is, we can "enjoy uncertainty, embrace insecurity, and value death." -p7-8
More about these Negative Paths:
Stoicism: tranquility through calm indifference of circumstances - examine negative emotions and experiences and decide to be tranquil.
Buddhism: non-attachment to positive and/or negative thoughts - don't cling to or avoid anything.
Insecurity: it's not something to confront - recognize that life is insecurity.
Failure: stretching past your current limit - it's a good thing.
"To fully embrace the experience of failure, not merely to tolerate it as a stepping stone to success, is to abandon this constant straining never to put a foot wrong. It is to relax." -p173
Goals: stop pushing things to 5yrs in the future - enjoy your work in the present.
"...goal-free living simply makes for happier humans." -p95
Goals, continued: The goal chapter was my favorite - I am constantly changing my "goals" and letting them adapt to where I am at the moment. I've learned to be flexible in the path I take to an objective and in changing the objective itself. It's much easier to take action based on who I am right now instead of "where I see myself in 5 years" - 5 years ago I did not see myself a) engaged, b) applying to grad school, c) finishing up a teaching fellowship...and yet here I am, happy as a clam that these things are all true.
Recommended for: everyone. Unless you've already figured all this out, and even then, still read this to affirm your decisions to fail big, pursue your curiosities, and live in composed insecurity.
Final thoughts in a quote: "You can have a broad sense of direction without a specific goal or a precise vision of the future. I think of it like jazz, like improvisation. It's all about meandering with purpose." -Steve Shapiro, p96
wilte's review against another edition
3.0
Refreshing look at self-help industry and some alternatives. Did lack some consistency/coherency between chapters.
Stoics: "you cannot control the situation, so reacting with fury against that reality is irrational. Your irritation is almost certainly out of all proportion to the actual harm" (p41)
Chris Kayes on James Lester research on Everest climbers: "The more uncertain climbers felt about their possible success (...) the more they were likely to invest in their particular strategy": Goalodicy (mantain goal in the face of evidence that not obtainable, negative evidence is reinterpreted as a reason to invest more effort and resources in pursuit of the goal. (p79-82)
p89: Ordonez article Goals gone wild - The Systematic Side Effects of Over-Prescribing Goal Setting http://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Publication%20Files/09-083.pdf
p98: It's all about meandering with purpose
p129: UK Spends Billions to Force Rail Terrorists to Drive a Little Further https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2007/11/uk_spends_billi.html
p210 Eckhard Tolle's question: "do you have a problem right now? is a marvelous antidote to low-level stress"
Stoics: "you cannot control the situation, so reacting with fury against that reality is irrational. Your irritation is almost certainly out of all proportion to the actual harm" (p41)
Chris Kayes on James Lester research on Everest climbers: "The more uncertain climbers felt about their possible success (...) the more they were likely to invest in their particular strategy": Goalodicy (mantain goal in the face of evidence that not obtainable, negative evidence is reinterpreted as a reason to invest more effort and resources in pursuit of the goal. (p79-82)
p89: Ordonez article Goals gone wild - The Systematic Side Effects of Over-Prescribing Goal Setting http://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Publication%20Files/09-083.pdf
p98: It's all about meandering with purpose
p129: UK Spends Billions to Force Rail Terrorists to Drive a Little Further https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2007/11/uk_spends_billi.html
p210 Eckhard Tolle's question: "do you have a problem right now? is a marvelous antidote to low-level stress"
gothicgoddess's review against another edition
5.0
This book was really refreshing, and gave me great ideas for further areas to pursue along these lines. Great ideas about learning to live with uncertainty and appreciate anxiety/worry instead of just trying to focus on positivity in life.
debnanceatreaderbuzz's review against another edition
4.0
I don’t think I’d go that far: I don’t hate positive thinking. Nevertheless, Burkeman takes a close look at what science has discovered about positive thinking and, though I hate to smash your rose-colored glasses, it is really not pretty. Positive thinking can lead to some pretty negative thinking. Oddly.
So Burkeman takes another approach. It’s to face reality. To look at it carefully. But dispassionately. Realistically.
I like this. It seems a little silly to go around saying, “Life just gets better and better every live long day.” Sometimes, frankly, it doesn’t. And it doesn’t do any good to walk around, saying it, shouting it, with your fingers in your ears, honestly.
Take a look at this book. It’s a hard cold look at happiness. That just might make you much happier.
So Burkeman takes another approach. It’s to face reality. To look at it carefully. But dispassionately. Realistically.
I like this. It seems a little silly to go around saying, “Life just gets better and better every live long day.” Sometimes, frankly, it doesn’t. And it doesn’t do any good to walk around, saying it, shouting it, with your fingers in your ears, honestly.
Take a look at this book. It’s a hard cold look at happiness. That just might make you much happier.
wordlover's review against another edition
4.0
Light but astute introduction to the intersection of stoicism and buddhism. Well written, thought provoking, a very nice "anti-self-help" book.
nickc's review against another edition
4.0
some really well explained theories and easy tone. a good read
bil's review against another edition
4.0
This was a really great survey of a few major philosophical approaches to living a thoughtful and more satisfying life. Certainly a lot to think about and look into further.