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Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Cancer, Child abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Alcohol
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders
Minor: Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Graphic: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Cancer, Child abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual assault, Vomit, Alcohol
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Rape, Medical trauma
Minor: Chronic illness, Cursing, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Death of parent
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Cancer, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Grief, Death of parent, Gaslighting
Moderate: Cursing, Infidelity, Sexism, Alcohol
Minor: Drug use, Excrement
Graphic: Alcoholism, Cancer, Child abuse, Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Death of parent
8th book of August 2022 and 25th of the year:
I don’t even know where to start with reviewing this book. First of all, the wait list for the audiobook was so long on all of the library apps that I use, which I both loved because that meant it was getting a lot of attention and hype but also didn't love because that meant I would've had to wait to read it. I wound up buying the audiobook because I had a feeling that I would love it and would see myself in a few of the things she was talking about and bringing much-needed attention to. It did not disappoint.
I read it in one day and went through a whole spectrum of emotions from crying to laughing to sobbing and then to a deep catharsis. I did wind up relating to many things throughout the book, with me being in recovery for multiple eating disorders after developing Bulimia when I was only 12 years old and having an abusive parent unfortunately very much like her mother(though mine was my father). Due to this, I was worried about how I would react even though I'm usually okay consuming content with these topics in it now. And while I did have to pause a few times throughout, especially toward the end, to stop crying before continuing on, I didn't get as affected by it as I feared. That is a testament to how deep into recovery and the healing process I thankfully am now, and how Jennette wrote and talked about it with such respect and introspection and with bits of humor sprinkled in throughout.
It was truly such a phenomenal book, and I felt so incredibly seen, down to the ‘smaller’ details/things that people with eating disorders understand/experience. I really appreciate that she’s as honest as she is and doesn’t sugarcoat anything and that she also talks about, and brings attention to, what it was like being a child actor and working on Nick and the resulting trauma from both.
Overall, it was brutally honest, incredibly well-written, narrated perfectly by Jennette McCurdy herself, had humor injected into it throughout, and explored trauma, grief, mental illness, addiction/alcoholism, eating disorders, domestic abuse, the complicated feelings that can come from losing someone you had an abusive or unhealthy relationship with, and fame in such a personal and intimate way. I also liked how the narration and writing style matured as the story went on and she did.
I just want to thank her for putting herself out there like this and sharing her story, and, needless to say, this book immediately became an all-time favorite and something that means so much to me and that I will be revisiting for years to come, and I went out and bought it pretty soon after finishing. I highly recommend it if you can handle the subject matter. Five stars is an understatement.
I also just want to add that if you’re struggling with an eating disorder or anything else that’s brought up in this book, I see you; I believe you; I believe in you; and I love you. Recovery can be extremely hard, but it is always possible and always worth it, and you are worthy and deserving of it. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, things will get better. Please keep fighting, be patient with yourself, and breathe. You’ve got this♥️
Graphic: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Cancer, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Blood, Vomit, Grief, Death of parent, Alcohol, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Drug use, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Cancer, Child abuse, Death, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual assault, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Grief, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Alcohol, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Drug abuse
Minor: Infidelity, Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Death, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Toxic relationship, Grief, Death of parent
Moderate: Cancer, Terminal illness
There's something inherently voyeuristic to celebrity memoirs, but it feels especially indecent when it's a child star memoir. We all know that the Hollywood system is set up to chew stars up and spit them out, and our society's obsession with child stars rewards pushy stage mom's and poor treatment of the children themselves (and it has since before motion pictures even existed). But having it written out so blatantly is rough. I was too old for iCarly when it came out, so I'm not overly familiar with McCurdy (outside of the occasional episode I saw when babysitting), and I almost skipped this book because of that, but I'm glad I ultimately decided to pick up a copy. Though I know part of that was my morbid curiosity to see behind the scenes and revel in another child star's trainwreck (I don't feel great about it).
There was a lot more going on in McCurdy's life than just the typical stage parent/child star relationship, but I'm also certain that many parts of her story would ring true for any number of child stars out there. Her mother was determined to live vicariously through her daughter, and pushed her to act even when Jennette expressed interest in stopping. She clearly has some mental health issues that went unaddressed (mood swings, hoarding tendencies, manipulative behavior) that resulted in Jennette's anxiety and desire to please her mother at any cost. Reading about McCurdy's childhood experiences is hard. Reading the detailed rundown of her eating disorders (encouraged by her mom) and slow road to recovery from them is hard. Putting this book down and walking away from it is hard.
I'm glad that McCurdy seems to be doing so much better in her life these days. It clearly hasn't been an easy road for her, but it was great to get to the end and have that bit of closure with her. The audiobook was narrated by McCurdy, which was very effective. I hope that writing it was therapeutic for her.
Graphic: Body shaming, Cancer, Death, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Death of parent
Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Alcohol
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Cancer, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Medical content, Death of parent, Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Cancer, Cursing, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Torture, Toxic relationship, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Death of parent, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Gaslighting, Sexual harassment