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marioncromb's review against another edition
informative
reflective
fast-paced
2.5
It's good that there's a book about aromanticism. There should be more books about aromanticism. But this wasn't the book about aromanticism for me, who has identified on the aro spectrum for years. The bits I most liked/found affirming/resonant were the contributions from other writers that bookended some of the chapters. I also liked that the book was very clear that not all aromantic people are asexual, and that aroallos shouldn't be stigmatised. And also the focus on other non-sexual/non-romantic relationships being just as important. It did feel a little defensive rather than celebratory though.
I felt frustrated by the very surface level analysis in this book, that presented itself as an informative book (or maybe just the subtitle does) but that was really more just personal opinion/experience/crisis/simplistic agony aunt ('try getting friends or a hobby!')column. It felt more like a blog post or youtube video, which makes sense considering the creators experience. There wasn't any particular academic rigor - a large proportion of the citations were Wikipedia. Speaking of, the author bemoans the lack of aromantic Wikipedia entries as if Wikipedia is some single entity that is the arbitrator of knowledge rather than something anyone can edit - including the author (who better to write a Wikipedia article on the subject then the person who wrote the book on it)! Some things that were definitely opinions or assumptions were presented as fact. I had to laugh when it said 'Institutional arophobia isn't one I've heard a lot about' when it's really one of the most prevalent, considering e.g. tax breaks for married couples etc etc. She speaks about Yasmin Benoit recieving online abuse, but never even thinks to mention or consider that that abuse might also be particularly compounded by misogynoir.
For something more in depth and less 'I guess so its true', 'i know two allo autistic people so autism and identifying with aromanticism aren't linked' etc I'd recommend Sherronda J Brown's very well researched and thought-provoking Refusing Compulsory Sexuality.
Also I feel like there was a potential here that was wasted - the author having experience of being aroace but also of having experienced those attractions makes her perfectly positioned to write a book explaining the whole spectrum and what those attractions feel like - which would be very helpful for arospecs like me reading it trying to understand our own experiences. But this wasn't really there. At one point it goes 'and then I experienced sexual and romantic attraction and got into a relationship and I'm completely in love with him' - but then doesn't explain how they know that, what exactly 'in love' feels like, what makes it different to before!! It just takes it for granted we know what that is - which aros reading it as a guide probably don't! An explanation from an aroace perspective/understanding is so rare and valuable and useful for aros who are trying to understand themselves and its an opportunity that was just missed.
I felt frustrated by the very surface level analysis in this book, that presented itself as an informative book (or maybe just the subtitle does) but that was really more just personal opinion/experience/crisis/simplistic agony aunt ('try getting friends or a hobby!')column. It felt more like a blog post or youtube video, which makes sense considering the creators experience. There wasn't any particular academic rigor - a large proportion of the citations were Wikipedia. Speaking of, the author bemoans the lack of aromantic Wikipedia entries as if Wikipedia is some single entity that is the arbitrator of knowledge rather than something anyone can edit - including the author (who better to write a Wikipedia article on the subject then the person who wrote the book on it)! Some things that were definitely opinions or assumptions were presented as fact. I had to laugh when it said 'Institutional arophobia isn't one I've heard a lot about' when it's really one of the most prevalent, considering e.g. tax breaks for married couples etc etc. She speaks about Yasmin Benoit recieving online abuse, but never even thinks to mention or consider that that abuse might also be particularly compounded by misogynoir.
For something more in depth and less 'I guess so its true', 'i know two allo autistic people so autism and identifying with aromanticism aren't linked' etc I'd recommend Sherronda J Brown's very well researched and thought-provoking Refusing Compulsory Sexuality.
Also I feel like there was a potential here that was wasted - the author having experience of being aroace but also of having experienced those attractions makes her perfectly positioned to write a book explaining the whole spectrum and what those attractions feel like - which would be very helpful for arospecs like me reading it trying to understand our own experiences. But this wasn't really there. At one point it goes 'and then I experienced sexual and romantic attraction and got into a relationship and I'm completely in love with him' - but then doesn't explain how they know that, what exactly 'in love' feels like, what makes it different to before!! It just takes it for granted we know what that is - which aros reading it as a guide probably don't! An explanation from an aroace perspective/understanding is so rare and valuable and useful for aros who are trying to understand themselves and its an opportunity that was just missed.
aruarian_melody's review
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
2.75
I really appreciate the author writing this and the publisher supporting so many books of the aro-ace community in general. As the author points out, there are not many studies and books on the topic of aromanticism. For that reason alone this book is important and I felt like the author took great care with this topic. The very conversational tone didn't always work for me and as much as I appreciated the author's honesty, at times I thought the self-reflection and self-explaining took too much focus. I don't think this will be the best book on the topic in the future - but it is a step.
jatropha's review
a good read, there are very few non-fiction books on aromanticism so i really appreciate this!
however, this book felt very informal and had some weird formatting (with the inclusion of little conversations, added at the last minute). the overall structure seemed a little messy, like parts thrown around, and based on personal experiences instead of research. more of a retelling of the author’s personal experience regarding aromanticism — trying to figure things out, rather than informing the reader about things, which was interesting i guess? there’s nothing wrong with that, and it might be comforting to some arospec people, but i don’t feel like i gained a lot of insights through this
i think this is a good introduction to aromanticism, but pales in comparison to other more well-researched aspec books (such as Ace). if i were to rate this, it would get a 1.5-2* rating, but uhh i kind of feel bad doing that to indie books about a niche topic lol
however, this book felt very informal and had some weird formatting (with the inclusion of little conversations, added at the last minute). the overall structure seemed a little messy, like parts thrown around, and based on personal experiences instead of research. more of a retelling of the author’s personal experience regarding aromanticism — trying to figure things out, rather than informing the reader about things, which was interesting i guess? there’s nothing wrong with that, and it might be comforting to some arospec people, but i don’t feel like i gained a lot of insights through this
i think this is a good introduction to aromanticism, but pales in comparison to other more well-researched aspec books (such as Ace). if i were to rate this, it would get a 1.5-2* rating, but uhh i kind of feel bad doing that to indie books about a niche topic lol
raix's review
informative
lighthearted
fast-paced
3.0
I felt that the author's colloquial tone was probably better suited for a blog post or a journal than a book. However, I remember the days when knowledge of asexuality was constrained to a few personal blogs and AVEN, and it sounds like this is the point the aro community is currently at. So in this case, I think it's good for a book to be out there that can introduce the topic to people who are not online. I really enjoyed the sections giving perspectives from other people.
The downside with this being print media is that some of the resources given (such as pridecounselling, which was found to be selling user data) are no longer viable.
The downside with this being print media is that some of the resources given (such as pridecounselling, which was found to be selling user data) are no longer viable.