Take a photo of a barcode or cover
4.2 AVERAGE
4.2 AVERAGE
⭐️⭐️
I'm not a fan of these kind of stories. Maybe if they were told really well as It Ends With Us, maybe. But no, this book wasn't for me, but I must say that the story was great and it was well written.
The story is about a girl, aged 15, and her teacher having a relationship, him kind of forcing sex on her. And then also her story about 17 years later. How she is doing now, her giving away her story.
I'm not a fan of these kind of stories. Maybe if they were told really well as It Ends With Us, maybe. But no, this book wasn't for me, but I must say that the story was great and it was well written.
The story is about a girl, aged 15, and her teacher having a relationship, him kind of forcing sex on her. And then also her story about 17 years later. How she is doing now, her giving away her story.
Incredible. Especially if you know the baseline of “Lolita” the comparison between the characters are so striking. When she was taking to Harry and got the events of the strawberry pajamas mixed up showed how connected the two stories are. Even how “Humbert saves Lo” is similar to Vanessa and Harry’s relationship he never wanted to save her he was also manipulating her in his own way. Strane even tells Vanessa he loves her like how Humbert reaffirms his love for Lo. The butterfly on the cover in relation to the butterfly motif in “Lolita” Vanessa’s point of view is what I would imagine Lo felt. Strane was a master manipulator…he knew exactly what kinda of girl to target. He isolated her by telling her that she was like him a loner. He knew what thoughts and ideas to feed her. Giving her books that make her think maybe all this happening for a reason or books that help her think the way he wanted her to. No matter how many times she says yes he still had power over her. He gave her the love and affection that she craved and made her idolize him. The thing about student teacher relationships are that the student thinks the teacher wants them to act older but no the pedofilic teacher wants them to act younger. He wanted to have power over her. The scene where he made her call him Daddy is like when Humbert Humbert starts acting like Lo’s father because that would give him control over her. Strane never wanted kids because he knew what he was. No matter how much he wanted to convince himself. He probably didn’t trust himself around his own kids. Just like when Humbert said he would marry Lo and then do the same thing he did to Lo on his child. And this effects Vanessa so much. She’s nothing if not for his Dark Vanessa. And that’s exactly what he wanted because as much as he didn’t want her to depend on him he cause her to feel that way. Maybe he did love her in his own twisted way but they way he treated Vanessa was not out of love. He cared more about his reputation then her. Even in a normal relationship with out the power dynamics and age gap that would be such a red flag. Vanessa was not a good person but that doesn’t mean she was the one responsible for what happened to her. As much as Strane said she was in control she was not the one who had the power in the relationship. I glad it shows how Vanessa struggle hard to come to terms with what happened to her even the part where she said what happened even count because she consented because that shows how much Strane manipulated her. Her whole existence is mixed up with their relationship.
'Maybe I'm so deprived, I misinterpret innocent favouritism as sexual interest. Maybe it's all in my head.'
Dark, gritty and disturbing, 'My Dark Vanessa' blew my mind with the psychological foreplay, staying true to its name. Vanessa believes her enigmatic English teacher didn't force himself upon her at the age of 15, which is technically true. But the level of manipulation Jacob, this pedophile teacher is capable of, is beyond comprehension. When a story comes into the limelight, where another student is 'groped' by Jacob, Vanessa is forced to revisit what actually happened with her only to realise that she was indeed brainwashed into believing that she was his one true love and their chemistry was real.
The highlight of this story is how the lives of the survivors of such an abuse revolve around the same incident and they are incapable of letting it go because without it, their lives have no meaning. Vanessa has been taunted all her life for her 'affair' with a teacher, she was a social outcast and her parents did very little to pull her out of it. Eventually, she set down on a path of self-destruction, ruining the chances of a brilliant future. Vanessa strongly believes that what was between the two them was real and meaningful and as a reader, for a little while I 'had' to look at this story from her perspective, which again makes a lot of sense.
Nonetheless, Vanessa is severely affected by the entire incident, leading to a dysfunctional lifestyle and repeated mental breakdowns. This story will hurt you, again and again, but will also make you want to keep reading, in hopes of justice of some sort. The author draws multiple parallels from 'Lolita' by Nabokov, reminding us of Humbert, a selfish and cruel pedophile, hopelessly and mercilessly in love with Lolita.
This is a book that will wreck you, so pick it up only when you're prepared (though, you can never be prepared for certain kind of people this world holds). 'My Dark Vanessa' is a glimpse inside the head of a 15-year-old child and later, a 30-something-year-old adult, traumatized from one incident but also incapable of detaching herself from the memories and the toxicity.
Dark, gritty and disturbing, 'My Dark Vanessa' blew my mind with the psychological foreplay, staying true to its name. Vanessa believes her enigmatic English teacher didn't force himself upon her at the age of 15, which is technically true. But the level of manipulation Jacob, this pedophile teacher is capable of, is beyond comprehension. When a story comes into the limelight, where another student is 'groped' by Jacob, Vanessa is forced to revisit what actually happened with her only to realise that she was indeed brainwashed into believing that she was his one true love and their chemistry was real.
The highlight of this story is how the lives of the survivors of such an abuse revolve around the same incident and they are incapable of letting it go because without it, their lives have no meaning. Vanessa has been taunted all her life for her 'affair' with a teacher, she was a social outcast and her parents did very little to pull her out of it. Eventually, she set down on a path of self-destruction, ruining the chances of a brilliant future. Vanessa strongly believes that what was between the two them was real and meaningful and as a reader, for a little while I 'had' to look at this story from her perspective, which again makes a lot of sense.
Nonetheless, Vanessa is severely affected by the entire incident, leading to a dysfunctional lifestyle and repeated mental breakdowns. This story will hurt you, again and again, but will also make you want to keep reading, in hopes of justice of some sort. The author draws multiple parallels from 'Lolita' by Nabokov, reminding us of Humbert, a selfish and cruel pedophile, hopelessly and mercilessly in love with Lolita.
This is a book that will wreck you, so pick it up only when you're prepared (though, you can never be prepared for certain kind of people this world holds). 'My Dark Vanessa' is a glimpse inside the head of a 15-year-old child and later, a 30-something-year-old adult, traumatized from one incident but also incapable of detaching herself from the memories and the toxicity.
This threw me into a mental mindfuck about my own abuse and how I carry it with me. And the fact that I was abused.
And now I want to crawl out of my skin and away from this life tysm
And now I want to crawl out of my skin and away from this life tysm
dark
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Not without spoiling ...
This genuinely freaked me out so much. I was nauseous reading multiple times, but that’s what’s expected with these kinds of stories. The writing is great and the story is absolutely heartbreaking. I also enjoyed the fact that Vanessa is struggling to understand the gravity of what happened, even in present day. She is by no means a “perfect victim”, and I think that’s what makes this book so real and human.
I’m speechless, really. It has been three days since I’ve finished reading and even now, I still can’t make up my mind on words that would be sufficient enough to summarise it. I don’t know whether this review should be considered as spoiler but I’m just marking it as a precaution.
Dark Vanessa, you can’t help but keep on flipping the pages because there’s no stale moment. Every little bit just fit and fit the puzzle more as we dwell deeper into the tale.
Vanessa, I would say in my opinion, is considered to be an unreliable narrator. She has this delusion that pops out people near her viewpoint when they’re not even there and she has a hard time remembering the details, remarks that she doesn’t remember it that way that make you second guessing the flow of what had actually happened. And that, wasn’t supposed to happen. When Ruby, her therapist had said if someone knows her, they’ll know she’s not exactly someone who would exaggerate, she’s someone that would minimise the detail and that hits me.
She tends to hear people’s opinion and then applies it to her own personal view. Like the time when her friend said that her mother loves her enough that she wouldn’t be allowed to go to a boarding school, and Vanessa had thought of herself as not loved by her mother. Or when people had said someone who would sleep with the teachers is a slut and she has scribbled it down and said, what if she’s indeed one ? Vanessa, in my opinion is someone who would sculpture her life in the viewpoint of an outsider and circumstance had shape her that way.
She’s traumatised, and all this while she has been reaching out for help but time and time again, people had let her down. Different people react differently to a similar situation. But I think deep down, I put the blame of her abuser as much on the roommate and all those that had failed her. And that is a flaw on my part.
One instance that struck me deeply is that, when the heavy question of “Who’s to blame?” had been addressed by Strane in class that carries to other part of the story. Shifting the blame of the perpetrator towards another shouldn’t be a thing but the people who had seen it firsthand and just choose to let it happen, shouldn’t they be considered as an accomplice (?). The teacher who had caught them in a compromising situation, the people at the boarding school who had choose to rely heavily on the words of their colleague and the students, who had scoff at Vanessa as if she could be the one pulling the string. Gosh, I can’t help but blame everyone who had seen her crash and burn and just let her be. I think the only other characters that I like are Ruby and Ira.
Maybe this is my emotion talking but even with the fast gripping urge to get to the finishing line, I had to take some time off and just put the book down, and just get a breather. That’s how affected I was, I still am. Read it and experience it on your own cause I don’t think I’ll ever forget this story. This is not a love story and my heart bleed for Vanessa who knows that too.
Dark Vanessa, you can’t help but keep on flipping the pages because there’s no stale moment. Every little bit just fit and fit the puzzle more as we dwell deeper into the tale.
Vanessa, I would say in my opinion, is considered to be an unreliable narrator. She has this delusion that pops out people near her viewpoint when they’re not even there and she has a hard time remembering the details, remarks that she doesn’t remember it that way that make you second guessing the flow of what had actually happened. And that, wasn’t supposed to happen. When Ruby, her therapist had said if someone knows her, they’ll know she’s not exactly someone who would exaggerate, she’s someone that would minimise the detail and that hits me.
She tends to hear people’s opinion and then applies it to her own personal view. Like the time when her friend said that her mother loves her enough that she wouldn’t be allowed to go to a boarding school, and Vanessa had thought of herself as not loved by her mother. Or when people had said someone who would sleep with the teachers is a slut and she has scribbled it down and said, what if she’s indeed one ? Vanessa, in my opinion is someone who would sculpture her life in the viewpoint of an outsider and circumstance had shape her that way.
She’s traumatised, and all this while she has been reaching out for help but time and time again, people had let her down. Different people react differently to a similar situation. But I think deep down, I put the blame of her abuser as much on the roommate and all those that had failed her. And that is a flaw on my part.
One instance that struck me deeply is that, when the heavy question of “Who’s to blame?” had been addressed by Strane in class that carries to other part of the story. Shifting the blame of the perpetrator towards another shouldn’t be a thing but the people who had seen it firsthand and just choose to let it happen, shouldn’t they be considered as an accomplice (?). The teacher who had caught them in a compromising situation, the people at the boarding school who had choose to rely heavily on the words of their colleague and the students, who had scoff at Vanessa as if she could be the one pulling the string. Gosh, I can’t help but blame everyone who had seen her crash and burn and just let her be. I think the only other characters that I like are Ruby and Ira.
Maybe this is my emotion talking but even with the fast gripping urge to get to the finishing line, I had to take some time off and just put the book down, and just get a breather. That’s how affected I was, I still am. Read it and experience it on your own cause I don’t think I’ll ever forget this story. This is not a love story and my heart bleed for Vanessa who knows that too.
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
The writing was beautiful and it was an honest depiction of abuse and its aftermath. I did find parts slow at points
Tremendous writing. Dark materials. Not for the feint of heart.
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes