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4.09 AVERAGE
4.09 AVERAGE
reflective
sad
medium-paced
3?/5
i think this ended up on my tbr after i loved [b:Like a Love Story|40190305|Like a Love Story|Abdi Nazemian|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1539389171l/40190305._SY75_.jpg|62368799] which was also a coming of age novel (of sorts) set during the AIDS epidemic, but unfortunately i did not like this one as much. there were some interesting themes - i particularly thought it was neat that a lot of this book focused on the coming of age concept of realizing the adults in your life are people with history, secrets, and flaws too. but i found it hard to get past how much i disliked the characters, particularly june (who often feels much more immature than 14) and greta (it was very transparent how her character arc was going to go but it didn't make her any more likeable - she was far too cruel for it to feel justified). the book felt long and slow for me because of this, though i did quite like the last ~20% and it made me cry a lot as expected so it turned around my feelings for the book overall a bit.
i think this ended up on my tbr after i loved [b:Like a Love Story|40190305|Like a Love Story|Abdi Nazemian|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1539389171l/40190305._SY75_.jpg|62368799] which was also a coming of age novel (of sorts) set during the AIDS epidemic, but unfortunately i did not like this one as much. there were some interesting themes - i particularly thought it was neat that a lot of this book focused on the coming of age concept of realizing the adults in your life are people with history, secrets, and flaws too. but i found it hard to get past how much i disliked the characters, particularly june (who often feels much more immature than 14) and greta (it was very transparent how her character arc was going to go but it didn't make her any more likeable - she was far too cruel for it to feel justified). the book felt long and slow for me because of this, though i did quite like the last ~20% and it made me cry a lot as expected so it turned around my feelings for the book overall a bit.
Rarely does a book touch me on such a deep level as this one did. I was introduced me to Mozart's gorgeous Requiem though the character Finn and I never get tired of listening to it.
This is a coming of age story set in the 80's and explores the effects of AIDS on a family. The main character ,June, is alternately confused and devastated by the disease that no one wants to talk about and certainly does not understand . Interesting cast of characters, feuding sisters, distracted parents, and a memorable tragically Iill uncle. Set in NYC and the suburbs with a healthy dose of art. Not a page turner but well written.
The character of June, the 14-year-old narrator of ‘Tell the Wolves I’m Home’ by Carol Rifka Brunt, reminded me of Holden Caulfield in Salinger's [b:The Catcher in the Rye|5107|The Catcher in the Rye|J.D. Salinger|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1398034300l/5107._SY75_.jpg|3036731]. She holds in her feelings as did Holden because she is ashamed of them and she is very uncertain of her feelings being appropriate. Having these feelings - does it mean she is weak? bad? wicked? stupid?
June’s 16-year-old sister Greta seems to despise her lately; they were each other's best friend. Their mother and father are accountants and are too busy with income tax customers to see their daughters are not doing well.
Everyone in the family is counting the days to April 15, when the pressure will stop. This year, December of 1986, in particular, is very stressful. Finn, June's uncle and her mother's brother, is dying of AIDs. His lover of nine years and partner, Toby, is hated by June's mother, and June has been taught to hate and fear him. She has been told all of her life that Finn, a famous artist, would be healthy except for being with Toby.
June adores Finn so much she can't bear that he is dying. When he wants to paint a portrait of her and her sister, Greta, she jumps at the chance to spend one Sunday a month sitting for him. Greta is far more reluctant and moody, unable to handle the oncoming death of her uncle or his AIDS. Greta is jealous of the closeness between June and Finn, too.
Greta is sarcastic of almost everything about June where she used to be supportive. June finds it hard to defend herself against her sister because Greta is considered so smart that she skipped a grade. Greta is more beautiful than June, and she is an admired actor, a star at their high school. Being older as well, she knows more about what is going on with Finn, about drinking and boys. She is graduating early and has already been accepted at Dartmouth.
So much is happening and June can't parse out how she feels. Why is Greta more like her enemy than friend, recently? What is AIDs exactly? The implied message of morality, so confusedly described by her mother, Danni - why is AIDs morally evil? She does not want to love Finn the way she does, but she can't help it. She feels stupid because she also loves her family while they are all apparently dismissing her as unimportant, except for Finn. She is afraid to talk about her emotions and confusions since she is jumped on the minute she expresses any of her feelings which are contrary to her mother's or sister's.
Then Finn dies. It's agony.
June begins to fantasize about turning back time and living in medieval eras, seeking romantic clothes and neighborhood places which look like castles where knights and princesses might live. Greta is socializing intensely at school. Income tax season keeps the parents at work, away from home until late. It's as if they all are disappearing from their roles, growing apart.
Then Toby contacts June. She realizes he is hurting as much as she is. She can see some empathy there as well. But who is he, really? She wants to know - but she can't tell her family.
June has some decisions to make, grown-up ones. She must go on against her parent's wishes and her sister's opinion. It means stepping out of the shadow of her family and finding out for herself what is right and wrong. She discovers that her unacknowledged emotions might be evil or shameful, but once she admits to them she can't ignore them anymore. The invisible wolves that are living in the negative spaces of herself are creatures she must recognize and accept, especially if she is to help Toby, something she feels is beyond her.
Then, shockingly, Greta begins to fall apart. Is it possible for her to fix any of this?
Greta and June were very supportive of each other in other parts of the story and both knew how the other felt about things almost instinctually. The game they played with painting additions to the portrait of themselves - adding their dynamic changing contributions to the static finished picture completed by the family (loved the symbolism - my favorite authorial plot device, actually!) showed a depth of affection and understanding between them that didn't compute with their oddly at-odds relationship. Ditto with the pseudo-burial routine Greta provided June with to rescue her and bring her back to life. Those two psychodynamic acts - which I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed - simply destroyed any belief I had in their believing the other had abandoned them. If it was to outline how the entire family seemed to allow the jealousy wolf in, well, it didn't work for me.
I lived in San Francisco in the 1980's, and I remember how AIDs created fear between everyone. Skinny sick men (it was mostly men) rode public transport to doctor's offices or work - and rumors that simply touching them or breathing their air could make you sick with AIDS made people lose all common sense. Television and newspaper stories were enlightening and accurately describing it was all about the blood - but the average citizen wasn't listening or believing. I did because I believed the scientific research and I was working with gay friends before the AIDS epidemic became defined.
People literally were fleeing buses, getting off at the next stop because a thin man with sores sat down shakily. You either felt their humanity and need and helped or you ran away. There was no way to fake disinterest or act nonchalant, sometimes. Ignoring was often the best choice if help wasn't needed - being normal, in other words, as possible. I tried to explain AIDs to terrified heterosexuals acquaintances and friends, but it was impossible to calm people. All I could do in the end was to visibly sit next to, touch and dine with my gay friends - and share their purgatory. I could not forgive myself if I had done anything else. Their lives were a thousand times worse and I don't mean to compare my distress with theirs. However, the social fear meant every individual one of us, straight or gay, had to 'come out' and make a political stand.
Stand up and be counted was not simply an old slogan. It was an awful, awful, awful period. Social support felt so useless, considering most of them were dying painful deaths, but for my own self-respect, it was all I had to give. I'm glad I did, now and then at that time, useless as it was.
June’s 16-year-old sister Greta seems to despise her lately; they were each other's best friend. Their mother and father are accountants and are too busy with income tax customers to see their daughters are not doing well.
Everyone in the family is counting the days to April 15, when the pressure will stop. This year, December of 1986, in particular, is very stressful. Finn, June's uncle and her mother's brother, is dying of AIDs. His lover of nine years and partner, Toby, is hated by June's mother, and June has been taught to hate and fear him. She has been told all of her life that Finn, a famous artist, would be healthy except for being with Toby.
June adores Finn so much she can't bear that he is dying. When he wants to paint a portrait of her and her sister, Greta, she jumps at the chance to spend one Sunday a month sitting for him. Greta is far more reluctant and moody, unable to handle the oncoming death of her uncle or his AIDS. Greta is jealous of the closeness between June and Finn, too.
Greta is sarcastic of almost everything about June where she used to be supportive. June finds it hard to defend herself against her sister because Greta is considered so smart that she skipped a grade. Greta is more beautiful than June, and she is an admired actor, a star at their high school. Being older as well, she knows more about what is going on with Finn, about drinking and boys. She is graduating early and has already been accepted at Dartmouth.
So much is happening and June can't parse out how she feels. Why is Greta more like her enemy than friend, recently? What is AIDs exactly? The implied message of morality, so confusedly described by her mother, Danni - why is AIDs morally evil? She does not want to love Finn the way she does, but she can't help it. She feels stupid because she also loves her family while they are all apparently dismissing her as unimportant, except for Finn. She is afraid to talk about her emotions and confusions since she is jumped on the minute she expresses any of her feelings which are contrary to her mother's or sister's.
Then Finn dies. It's agony.
June begins to fantasize about turning back time and living in medieval eras, seeking romantic clothes and neighborhood places which look like castles where knights and princesses might live. Greta is socializing intensely at school. Income tax season keeps the parents at work, away from home until late. It's as if they all are disappearing from their roles, growing apart.
Then Toby contacts June. She realizes he is hurting as much as she is. She can see some empathy there as well. But who is he, really? She wants to know - but she can't tell her family.
June has some decisions to make, grown-up ones. She must go on against her parent's wishes and her sister's opinion. It means stepping out of the shadow of her family and finding out for herself what is right and wrong. She discovers that her unacknowledged emotions might be evil or shameful, but once she admits to them she can't ignore them anymore. The invisible wolves that are living in the negative spaces of herself are creatures she must recognize and accept, especially if she is to help Toby, something she feels is beyond her.
Then, shockingly, Greta begins to fall apart. Is it possible for her to fix any of this?
Spoiler
IMHO, though, a major flaw in the book was how the author created Greta and June's relationship. June could clearly see Greta's angst and that Greta wanted to do things with June. June apparently didn't want to believe what she saw Greta was feeling. Either June secretly or unbeknown to herself was punishing Greta or she actually believed Greta was pranking her. I couldn't buy either supposition hinted at by the author's setup.Greta and June were very supportive of each other in other parts of the story and both knew how the other felt about things almost instinctually. The game they played with painting additions to the portrait of themselves - adding their dynamic changing contributions to the static finished picture completed by the family (loved the symbolism - my favorite authorial plot device, actually!) showed a depth of affection and understanding between them that didn't compute with their oddly at-odds relationship. Ditto with the pseudo-burial routine Greta provided June with to rescue her and bring her back to life. Those two psychodynamic acts - which I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed - simply destroyed any belief I had in their believing the other had abandoned them. If it was to outline how the entire family seemed to allow the jealousy wolf in, well, it didn't work for me.
I lived in San Francisco in the 1980's, and I remember how AIDs created fear between everyone. Skinny sick men (it was mostly men) rode public transport to doctor's offices or work - and rumors that simply touching them or breathing their air could make you sick with AIDS made people lose all common sense. Television and newspaper stories were enlightening and accurately describing it was all about the blood - but the average citizen wasn't listening or believing. I did because I believed the scientific research and I was working with gay friends before the AIDS epidemic became defined.
People literally were fleeing buses, getting off at the next stop because a thin man with sores sat down shakily. You either felt their humanity and need and helped or you ran away. There was no way to fake disinterest or act nonchalant, sometimes. Ignoring was often the best choice if help wasn't needed - being normal, in other words, as possible. I tried to explain AIDs to terrified heterosexuals acquaintances and friends, but it was impossible to calm people. All I could do in the end was to visibly sit next to, touch and dine with my gay friends - and share their purgatory. I could not forgive myself if I had done anything else. Their lives were a thousand times worse and I don't mean to compare my distress with theirs. However, the social fear meant every individual one of us, straight or gay, had to 'come out' and make a political stand.
Stand up and be counted was not simply an old slogan. It was an awful, awful, awful period. Social support felt so useless, considering most of them were dying painful deaths, but for my own self-respect, it was all I had to give. I'm glad I did, now and then at that time, useless as it was.
This was so wonderful, please love this book with me.
I'm having a soft spot lately for YA that the author sets back in the decade they grew up in. (The other one coming to mind is In Zanesville, which opened a door to a bunch of memoir-novels for me.) This book is definitely fiction, but it is set in 1987 and written with the details of the world the author lived with as a kid.
There are so many pieces to this story: June is grieving her uncle Finn. June's family is dealing with their feelings about him dying of AIDS. They have this painting he made for them which may be worth a lot of money, but it's complicated. June begins a secret friendship with Finn's boyfriend. And June's older sister is going through some crisis that is throwing everything way off.
Each one of these things is important, but the main thread is certainly June's grief for her uncle. He was her person, who understood her and loved her really well. So what this loss does is help us readers understand who she is. She's fourteen, and hasn't grown into teenagerdom yet — she feels the feelings but still reacts like a young kid. She is in that era where she is starting to understand how strong her feelings are, but not understand that other people also feel them. To her, they are private and nervous and unique, and when someone suggests that they may understand what she feels, she cannot bear to be known so raw. And she can't bear that such big feelings might be common.
She craves adult love but doesn't have a role for it, yet. Part of June's healing her grief for Finn comes from exposing the uncomfortable idea that she was perhaps too in love with her uncle, and this discomfort highlights the way that maturity corrupts really honest feelings had in youth. She wanted Finn to love her more than anyone, and there is a dark innocence there. I thought this was wonderful, because I could completely understand where it was coming from. When I was June's age, I would sometimes fall asleep squeezing my pillow tight, imagining that someone was embracing me back with a deep, appreciative love. And in my imagination, more often than picturing a boyfriend holding me, being in love with me, I would just picture someone who loved me. An imaginary person who loved me more than anyone. I think this is exactly how people transition the need to be loved from childhood longings into adult ones — being gutted by the need to be so special to someone.
This innocence becomes ridiculously complicated once Finn's boyfriend Toby shows up in June's life. She never knew of him before (which gets explained in pieces throughout the novel), but Finn wanted them to help each other grieve after he was gone, so they get in touch. And not coincidentally, Toby is also ill with AIDS, and his clock is ticking. This thread could've gotten really saccharine, but it's way better than that, because Toby is sort of a dingbat? I don't know. He is a wonderful guy and makes poor decisions constantly, so you never really know where this is going. I don't think he's ever known a child before. He wants her to hide their meetings from her parents, he gets her smoking, he gets her drunk, he drives around without a license, he asks her to drive. It all… makes sense, in a way, but is completely wrong. He's fine really, but much in the same way that June feels the need to keep her love for her uncle wrapped up and private… this is a too easily corruptible idea, and it is clearly going to blow up eventually.
And I was gobsmacked by the way that it did. You're wrong if you think you can imagine how this book will end.
But, so, all of June's relationships get thrown up in the air. Who has the right to love someone the most? How do we fit people into hierarchies in our hearts? There are so many feelings about inclusion and secrets and types of love that June has to rip open and confront, and it is really super important for her to do it. One of the things that makes this an interesting coming of age story is in seeing her having to deal with the resistance she gets from adults. It would be easier if they didn't have to confront all those things she is dredging up, actually. But June cannot grow up if they don't.
The presence of AIDS in the story is an interesting one. June's family experiences a ton of fear and discomfort over it. They still worry about catching it, from kisses, from cups. They wonder if Toby can be tried as a murderer. They are embarrassed by the notoriety, and horrified by the loss. It just seems like bad luck, to them, that Finn had to live this way and be in the path of the disease. There is a really quietly sad scene where they're just watching the news as a family, and a story comes on explaining that the AZT drug will be released to the public soon, and they all have to turn the tv off and leave the room and can't talk about it. They feel bitterness and loss in equal measure.
Some things are incredibly important to the story but unfold so slowly, it almost feels like spoilers to talk about how they unwind. There is a painting of June and her sister that Finn painted just before he died, which somehow unfurls and then ties up like six threads in the story, the more we find out about it. (It is also where the book's title comes from, and was maybe my favorite part of the whole thing.) And the very relationship between June and her sister that is depicted there, which is this hard-to-figure-out gamut from antagonists to allies, develops sad and scary edges that eventually demand June's attention, demand our attention.
Also just need to shout out how squeeingly brilliant it was to invent a potential boyfriend-ish for June (who spends much of her time pretending that she is in the Middle Ages) who comes on to her by asking her to play DnD.
The writing is gorgeous, too. I was highlighting constantly, so I could save some of my favorite quotes on my computer after I returned the book to the library. I'm really glad I read this, and I recommend it to everybody who has ever had a feeling.
I'm having a soft spot lately for YA that the author sets back in the decade they grew up in. (The other one coming to mind is In Zanesville, which opened a door to a bunch of memoir-novels for me.) This book is definitely fiction, but it is set in 1987 and written with the details of the world the author lived with as a kid.
There are so many pieces to this story: June is grieving her uncle Finn. June's family is dealing with their feelings about him dying of AIDS. They have this painting he made for them which may be worth a lot of money, but it's complicated. June begins a secret friendship with Finn's boyfriend. And June's older sister is going through some crisis that is throwing everything way off.
Each one of these things is important, but the main thread is certainly June's grief for her uncle. He was her person, who understood her and loved her really well. So what this loss does is help us readers understand who she is. She's fourteen, and hasn't grown into teenagerdom yet — she feels the feelings but still reacts like a young kid. She is in that era where she is starting to understand how strong her feelings are, but not understand that other people also feel them. To her, they are private and nervous and unique, and when someone suggests that they may understand what she feels, she cannot bear to be known so raw. And she can't bear that such big feelings might be common.
She craves adult love but doesn't have a role for it, yet. Part of June's healing her grief for Finn comes from exposing the uncomfortable idea that she was perhaps too in love with her uncle, and this discomfort highlights the way that maturity corrupts really honest feelings had in youth. She wanted Finn to love her more than anyone, and there is a dark innocence there. I thought this was wonderful, because I could completely understand where it was coming from. When I was June's age, I would sometimes fall asleep squeezing my pillow tight, imagining that someone was embracing me back with a deep, appreciative love. And in my imagination, more often than picturing a boyfriend holding me, being in love with me, I would just picture someone who loved me. An imaginary person who loved me more than anyone. I think this is exactly how people transition the need to be loved from childhood longings into adult ones — being gutted by the need to be so special to someone.
This innocence becomes ridiculously complicated once Finn's boyfriend Toby shows up in June's life. She never knew of him before (which gets explained in pieces throughout the novel), but Finn wanted them to help each other grieve after he was gone, so they get in touch. And not coincidentally, Toby is also ill with AIDS, and his clock is ticking. This thread could've gotten really saccharine, but it's way better than that, because Toby is sort of a dingbat? I don't know. He is a wonderful guy and makes poor decisions constantly, so you never really know where this is going. I don't think he's ever known a child before. He wants her to hide their meetings from her parents, he gets her smoking, he gets her drunk, he drives around without a license, he asks her to drive. It all… makes sense, in a way, but is completely wrong. He's fine really, but much in the same way that June feels the need to keep her love for her uncle wrapped up and private… this is a too easily corruptible idea, and it is clearly going to blow up eventually.
And I was gobsmacked by the way that it did. You're wrong if you think you can imagine how this book will end.
But, so, all of June's relationships get thrown up in the air. Who has the right to love someone the most? How do we fit people into hierarchies in our hearts? There are so many feelings about inclusion and secrets and types of love that June has to rip open and confront, and it is really super important for her to do it. One of the things that makes this an interesting coming of age story is in seeing her having to deal with the resistance she gets from adults. It would be easier if they didn't have to confront all those things she is dredging up, actually. But June cannot grow up if they don't.
The presence of AIDS in the story is an interesting one. June's family experiences a ton of fear and discomfort over it. They still worry about catching it, from kisses, from cups. They wonder if Toby can be tried as a murderer. They are embarrassed by the notoriety, and horrified by the loss. It just seems like bad luck, to them, that Finn had to live this way and be in the path of the disease. There is a really quietly sad scene where they're just watching the news as a family, and a story comes on explaining that the AZT drug will be released to the public soon, and they all have to turn the tv off and leave the room and can't talk about it. They feel bitterness and loss in equal measure.
Some things are incredibly important to the story but unfold so slowly, it almost feels like spoilers to talk about how they unwind. There is a painting of June and her sister that Finn painted just before he died, which somehow unfurls and then ties up like six threads in the story, the more we find out about it. (It is also where the book's title comes from, and was maybe my favorite part of the whole thing.) And the very relationship between June and her sister that is depicted there, which is this hard-to-figure-out gamut from antagonists to allies, develops sad and scary edges that eventually demand June's attention, demand our attention.
Also just need to shout out how squeeingly brilliant it was to invent a potential boyfriend-ish for June (who spends much of her time pretending that she is in the Middle Ages) who comes on to her by asking her to play DnD.
The writing is gorgeous, too. I was highlighting constantly, so I could save some of my favorite quotes on my computer after I returned the book to the library. I'm really glad I read this, and I recommend it to everybody who has ever had a feeling.
A vacillated between amusement at the ridiculousness of the story line, and annoyance with the writing. Overall, the story has some merit, but it fell so short of where I think it needed to go.
June is a pre-teen in the late 70s/early 80s. She lives with her accountant parents and her elder sister, with whom she has a typical angst filled relationship. The story centers around the death of her uncle/godfather who dies of AIDS within the first few chapters, and the ways in which she copes.
It was interesting to revisit this time in the AIDS saga; I could identify with how the family reacted to being around someone with AIDS. I can remember being told that sharing a swimming pool with an AIDS victim might put me at risk for catching the disease (this was said by a medical student while we were swimming a pool in Key West!) There were also lots of little clues - the daily use of a crock-pot - that accurately date-stamp the book.
The writing fell short with character development, IMHO. I would've liked to see the parents be multi-dimensional, for instance, and I didn't quite believe everything that came out of June's head. She seemed to me to be speaking as an adult, not a young girl. For a while I wondered if this wasn't being written as a look-back-in-time story, and was hoping there'd be a surprise at the end, the way [a:Philip Roth|463|Philip Roth|https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1399886959p2/463.jpg]'s [b:Nemesis|7703038|Nemesis|Philip Roth|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327700046s/7703038.jpg|6518262] ends.
Honestly, if it hadn't been a book-club read, I'd have skipped this one. Waffling between two and three stars here, probably will end up closer to two.
June is a pre-teen in the late 70s/early 80s. She lives with her accountant parents and her elder sister, with whom she has a typical angst filled relationship. The story centers around the death of her uncle/godfather who dies of AIDS within the first few chapters, and the ways in which she copes.
It was interesting to revisit this time in the AIDS saga; I could identify with how the family reacted to being around someone with AIDS. I can remember being told that sharing a swimming pool with an AIDS victim might put me at risk for catching the disease (this was said by a medical student while we were swimming a pool in Key West!) There were also lots of little clues - the daily use of a crock-pot - that accurately date-stamp the book.
The writing fell short with character development, IMHO. I would've liked to see the parents be multi-dimensional, for instance, and I didn't quite believe everything that came out of June's head. She seemed to me to be speaking as an adult, not a young girl. For a while I wondered if this wasn't being written as a look-back-in-time story, and was hoping there'd be a surprise at the end, the way [a:Philip Roth|463|Philip Roth|https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1399886959p2/463.jpg]'s [b:Nemesis|7703038|Nemesis|Philip Roth|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1327700046s/7703038.jpg|6518262] ends.
Honestly, if it hadn't been a book-club read, I'd have skipped this one. Waffling between two and three stars here, probably will end up closer to two.
emotional
informative
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
This book blew me away. A debut novel... really?!
The back cover I read and based on the front cover look and the “when he died, far too young, of a mysterious illness her mother can barely speak about” I thought is this going to be fantasy.
Well it wasn’t. I don’t want to spoil it, but all I’ll say is the story of June, her sister Greta, and their Uncle Finn is one that is so real I thought this book sounded biographical. My copy had a question/answer interview with the author and Elin Hildebrand and this book per author’s response was truly fiction. What a creative mind!
The back cover I read and based on the front cover look and the “when he died, far too young, of a mysterious illness her mother can barely speak about” I thought is this going to be fantasy.
Well it wasn’t. I don’t want to spoil it, but all I’ll say is the story of June, her sister Greta, and their Uncle Finn is one that is so real I thought this book sounded biographical. My copy had a question/answer interview with the author and Elin Hildebrand and this book per author’s response was truly fiction. What a creative mind!