Take a photo of a barcode or cover
I couldn't get past the overly artistic "prose". And this is coming from an English major.
It was far too flowery and almost lyrical. Usually, it works for me-but here, it just felt forced. It read like a fever dream full of clouds of smoke and haze. I'm sure that's kind of the idea, as it's an 18 year old recounting her experience of first love, but it just didn't do it for me sadly.
Also, I really found it hard to get behind Evan. Especially after learning about his past. I LOVE forbidden romance, but this just felt predatory.
It was far too flowery and almost lyrical. Usually, it works for me-but here, it just felt forced. It read like a fever dream full of clouds of smoke and haze. I'm sure that's kind of the idea, as it's an 18 year old recounting her experience of first love, but it just didn't do it for me sadly.
Also, I really found it hard to get behind Evan. Especially after learning about his past. I LOVE forbidden romance, but this just felt predatory.
challenging
reflective
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
This is not a romance. She is a minor and he is taking advantage of her vulnerability
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Drug abuse
What a roller-coaster (pun intended) of emotions this book was!!!
I decided to try and read it because of Emily May's 5 star review and honestly, in the beginning I was so confused as to why Emily gave it 5 stars... I say this because I trust her reviews more than anything and have never been disappointed until now, as in the beginning I hated the book.
I just couldn't get myself to like Maise, Evan was just a mystery and there was nothing to him other than Maise's obsession and I was rolling my eyes at so much that I was ready to give up..
However!!! H-O-W-E-V-E-R
Wrong, I was.
Leah Raeder's writing was what made me stay. In no time I found myself highlighting and bookmarking parts from every chapter and my Kindle began to look like a colouring book, honestly!
Yes, cliches are present in the book, yes Maise can be insufferable sometimes despite her tragic life, and yes, a lot was a trope that was covered in many books before, but god damn Leah's words sucked me in and I didn't want it to end.
I was unsure on how I wanted the story to progress more often than not - we never got enough information on Evan, nothing to really make us understand him or like him, nothing but Maise's own perceptions of who/what he was, and I really wish we had a few chapters from his POV!! But I was satisfied with the ending and I found myself mourning the fact that I finished it so quickly, a complete change from my thoughts in the beginning!
I haven't had the desire to reread a book in a long time, however I already have plans on diving into this again and reliving all the hundreds of quotes I highlighted that spoke to me!
I decided to try and read it because of Emily May's 5 star review and honestly, in the beginning I was so confused as to why Emily gave it 5 stars... I say this because I trust her reviews more than anything and have never been disappointed until now, as in the beginning I hated the book.
I just couldn't get myself to like Maise, Evan was just a mystery and there was nothing to him other than Maise's obsession and I was rolling my eyes at so much that I was ready to give up..
However!!! H-O-W-E-V-E-R
Wrong, I was.
Leah Raeder's writing was what made me stay. In no time I found myself highlighting and bookmarking parts from every chapter and my Kindle began to look like a colouring book, honestly!
Yes, cliches are present in the book, yes Maise can be insufferable sometimes despite her tragic life, and yes, a lot was a trope that was covered in many books before, but god damn Leah's words sucked me in and I didn't want it to end.
I was unsure on how I wanted the story to progress more often than not - we never got enough information on Evan, nothing to really make us understand him or like him, nothing but Maise's own perceptions of who/what he was, and I really wish we had a few chapters from his POV!! But I was satisfied with the ending and I found myself mourning the fact that I finished it so quickly, a complete change from my thoughts in the beginning!
I haven't had the desire to reread a book in a long time, however I already have plans on diving into this again and reliving all the hundreds of quotes I highlighted that spoke to me!
I DONT KNOW. MY FEELS. OKAY. I DONT KNOW.
Probably won't review this, but you know.
Probably won't review this, but you know.
This book is a kaleidoscope of romantic angsty love scenes, and beautifully sculpted passages where half of everything written is a metaphor; not always making entire sense but capturing an image in your head all the same that basic descriptions never could. This author melds both realistic cynicism and lyrical hopeful poetry into this novel; addressing subject matters that are both dark and gritty as well as beautiful and inventive.
Growing up isn’t easy, mostly because you never know when you’re done; when you have succeeded in knowing all of life’s mysteries. And mainly this is because you can never know all of these mysteries no matter how hard you try because you are never done growing up.
Growing up can be difficult, but you don’t have to do it alone. I believe that we are drawn to other people in this world, because on some subconscious level we recognize the same darkness in them that we have in ourselves. I don't know if its fate, luck or if it's intent that causes us to cross paths with these people and thus have the opportunity to explore ourselves through the reflection we see of our personality in them. No matter how we meet these people, I believe that we grow to understand one another on some intimate level, because its like learning to understand yourself through learning to understand another person.
And that’s what I love about this novel. This girl is learning to understand both the world around her, and who she is at her core being, through understanding the boy she meets; a man who through by chance she meets at an otherwise mundane and uneventful moment of her life.
This novel investigates the ever present uncertainty of what it means to be grown up; of what it means to be an adult versus a child, and how one can exist in both planes of existence despite being 18 years old or 32.
The duration of the novel extends through a year, moving through sections of these character’s lives, relaying mere moments, sometimes with such little context that as one paragraph ends the next begins in an entirely different time frame. This novel is like watching a slide reel that had entire scenes cut away, leaving only the tender soft moments between this novel’s characters. This novel explores how a relationship can take root and grow into its own form so quickly, like watching a time lapse of a flower blooming but at top speed. It’s part of what slightly frustrated me about this book. I don’t want to say that this was “instal-love”, but in some ways it was. The reaction between the two protagonists was chemical, like a flame lit to gasoline and it takes mere seconds for the flames of the fire to tear over wood and metal and reduce it to ash and charcoal. There was little to no regard for the mundane stereotypical procedure of a relationship. For these characters, they were hooked on sight once they saw one another for the first time.
For me, any romance novel that has “instal-love” is an immediate one star. Its an overused cliche. Girl meets boy. Girl falls for the good looks and charisma. Boy falls for the girl’s hot body, wit and seemingly brazen confidence. They f***. They can’t get enough of each other. And they have thus fallen in love. This book in some sense followed along this cliche plot line, however more than compensated in the lyrical writing style and the pace at which it was written. Not that the pace of the story's plot was necessarily fast, but rather the diction and formatting was crafted carefully so that the scenes were delivered with sudden, vivid flashes of raw emotion and dialogue. The scenes themselves are built to imbue a strong sense of dynamic character development.
Maise is brazen and confident to the point of being overly cocky, but she makes it work for her. Her character flaws don’t lie in some secret lack of confidence in her own beauty, which is to some extent somewhat refreshing. I understand, empathize and find it almost cathartic to read about character’s who have little confidence in their appearance, weight or body shape as it’s something relatable by almost any girl. However, that being said, almost any teen book will have a female character with this aspect. When writing a book, you need to make it relatable. Without the relatability, the reader will fail to care. Writing about a heroine with the confidence that most teens only wish they had is a daring, ambitious and almost reckless endeavour. Leah Raeder has a rash zealous writing style for both creating such an impressive protagonist and for writing in such boldly beautiful and lyrical diction. Raeder approached a hazy line, a line which if have been crossed would have resulted in a character difficult to relate to and a story too congested by so much poetic “fluff” that people wouldn’t have bothered to read it.
However instead, Raeder balanced her character by deepening the darker dynamics of this girl’s psyche. Despite my slight lack of ability to actually like Evan and/or wish for this couple’s union to last, I did sincerely love reading the story through Maise’s eyes and watch her character develop, her mindset broaden and to learn to think to new depths as the book continued. This girl has a history that motivates and defines the actions that she commits in this story. It creates a thought pattern that consistently relays in the way she allows people into her lives, or rather how far she lets them into her life before she’ll cut off contact for fear of becoming too attached. Raeder touches on one of the most primal needs a human can have. A need for attachment and that security that no matter what, that attachment to this other person will not be swayed. Humans need to feel like they have someone to attach to, even right down to the biological need that we need other people in order to survive. A human being will not survive on their own and so some innate sense will force them to reach out and find at least one more person who they can depend on. However, the higher functioning aspects of our brain retain memories from our past, dissecting them and choosing to learn from the mistakes that were made and taking preemptive measures to make certain that we do not get hurt in the same way twice.
It comes down to the conflict between basic human instincts and the subconscious defences we have created in our minds. For Maise, there was a need to be attached to someone, and she found a person who seemed to have their own darkest secrets reflected in herself. This attraction was chemical and despite that could have being mistaken as “insta-love", this otherwise cliched situation was twisted in a different light for me in how it does make sense in some weird way of its own. Their love was both moulded by primal instincts and by the same thought patterns and defences of their higher brain function. Love can’t necessarily be explained, but it can have its basis out of reason. The actions that are committed out of love, no matter how foolish, I believe can be driven by some justified reason, simply because one’s reason is only as justified as one’s perception of the world allows.
This book explores what it means to fall in love and understand the reasons behind it even if not fully being able to understand or explain it beyond the simple incentive that struck the flame in the first place. Love even as seen in this book is a journey where every experience is caused by a justified factual sequence of actions however the resulting shift in perspective because of this experience is not always understood by any quantifiable measure. Learning to recognize the world, or even if just some aspect of it such as love as something different than it was before is not always something easily expressed by words. That is what this book is about. It is about the expression of the experience rather than always being able to identify what it is you’re learning. This book explores a range of emotions and experiences and I was able to see how the world can be something beautiful and how you can enjoy the spontaneous moments in life even if you know they will end. Everything in this world is finite. Nothing lasts. However there is no point dwelling on this concept and dreading the end of what is beautiful in that moment for fear of entirely losing this beauty and have wasted it because for all the time it existed, its death was the only thing being concerned about.
This novel was a beautiful rendition of just how complicated love can be and how despite all these complications, it can still be seen as the most wondrous thing to live for.
Growing up isn’t easy, mostly because you never know when you’re done; when you have succeeded in knowing all of life’s mysteries. And mainly this is because you can never know all of these mysteries no matter how hard you try because you are never done growing up.
Growing up can be difficult, but you don’t have to do it alone. I believe that we are drawn to other people in this world, because on some subconscious level we recognize the same darkness in them that we have in ourselves. I don't know if its fate, luck or if it's intent that causes us to cross paths with these people and thus have the opportunity to explore ourselves through the reflection we see of our personality in them. No matter how we meet these people, I believe that we grow to understand one another on some intimate level, because its like learning to understand yourself through learning to understand another person.
And that’s what I love about this novel. This girl is learning to understand both the world around her, and who she is at her core being, through understanding the boy she meets; a man who through by chance she meets at an otherwise mundane and uneventful moment of her life.
This novel investigates the ever present uncertainty of what it means to be grown up; of what it means to be an adult versus a child, and how one can exist in both planes of existence despite being 18 years old or 32.
The duration of the novel extends through a year, moving through sections of these character’s lives, relaying mere moments, sometimes with such little context that as one paragraph ends the next begins in an entirely different time frame. This novel is like watching a slide reel that had entire scenes cut away, leaving only the tender soft moments between this novel’s characters. This novel explores how a relationship can take root and grow into its own form so quickly, like watching a time lapse of a flower blooming but at top speed. It’s part of what slightly frustrated me about this book. I don’t want to say that this was “instal-love”, but in some ways it was. The reaction between the two protagonists was chemical, like a flame lit to gasoline and it takes mere seconds for the flames of the fire to tear over wood and metal and reduce it to ash and charcoal. There was little to no regard for the mundane stereotypical procedure of a relationship. For these characters, they were hooked on sight once they saw one another for the first time.
For me, any romance novel that has “instal-love” is an immediate one star. Its an overused cliche. Girl meets boy. Girl falls for the good looks and charisma. Boy falls for the girl’s hot body, wit and seemingly brazen confidence. They f***. They can’t get enough of each other. And they have thus fallen in love. This book in some sense followed along this cliche plot line, however more than compensated in the lyrical writing style and the pace at which it was written. Not that the pace of the story's plot was necessarily fast, but rather the diction and formatting was crafted carefully so that the scenes were delivered with sudden, vivid flashes of raw emotion and dialogue. The scenes themselves are built to imbue a strong sense of dynamic character development.
Maise is brazen and confident to the point of being overly cocky, but she makes it work for her. Her character flaws don’t lie in some secret lack of confidence in her own beauty, which is to some extent somewhat refreshing. I understand, empathize and find it almost cathartic to read about character’s who have little confidence in their appearance, weight or body shape as it’s something relatable by almost any girl. However, that being said, almost any teen book will have a female character with this aspect. When writing a book, you need to make it relatable. Without the relatability, the reader will fail to care. Writing about a heroine with the confidence that most teens only wish they had is a daring, ambitious and almost reckless endeavour. Leah Raeder has a rash zealous writing style for both creating such an impressive protagonist and for writing in such boldly beautiful and lyrical diction. Raeder approached a hazy line, a line which if have been crossed would have resulted in a character difficult to relate to and a story too congested by so much poetic “fluff” that people wouldn’t have bothered to read it.
However instead, Raeder balanced her character by deepening the darker dynamics of this girl’s psyche. Despite my slight lack of ability to actually like Evan and/or wish for this couple’s union to last, I did sincerely love reading the story through Maise’s eyes and watch her character develop, her mindset broaden and to learn to think to new depths as the book continued. This girl has a history that motivates and defines the actions that she commits in this story. It creates a thought pattern that consistently relays in the way she allows people into her lives, or rather how far she lets them into her life before she’ll cut off contact for fear of becoming too attached. Raeder touches on one of the most primal needs a human can have. A need for attachment and that security that no matter what, that attachment to this other person will not be swayed. Humans need to feel like they have someone to attach to, even right down to the biological need that we need other people in order to survive. A human being will not survive on their own and so some innate sense will force them to reach out and find at least one more person who they can depend on. However, the higher functioning aspects of our brain retain memories from our past, dissecting them and choosing to learn from the mistakes that were made and taking preemptive measures to make certain that we do not get hurt in the same way twice.
It comes down to the conflict between basic human instincts and the subconscious defences we have created in our minds. For Maise, there was a need to be attached to someone, and she found a person who seemed to have their own darkest secrets reflected in herself. This attraction was chemical and despite that could have being mistaken as “insta-love", this otherwise cliched situation was twisted in a different light for me in how it does make sense in some weird way of its own. Their love was both moulded by primal instincts and by the same thought patterns and defences of their higher brain function. Love can’t necessarily be explained, but it can have its basis out of reason. The actions that are committed out of love, no matter how foolish, I believe can be driven by some justified reason, simply because one’s reason is only as justified as one’s perception of the world allows.
This book explores what it means to fall in love and understand the reasons behind it even if not fully being able to understand or explain it beyond the simple incentive that struck the flame in the first place. Love even as seen in this book is a journey where every experience is caused by a justified factual sequence of actions however the resulting shift in perspective because of this experience is not always understood by any quantifiable measure. Learning to recognize the world, or even if just some aspect of it such as love as something different than it was before is not always something easily expressed by words. That is what this book is about. It is about the expression of the experience rather than always being able to identify what it is you’re learning. This book explores a range of emotions and experiences and I was able to see how the world can be something beautiful and how you can enjoy the spontaneous moments in life even if you know they will end. Everything in this world is finite. Nothing lasts. However there is no point dwelling on this concept and dreading the end of what is beautiful in that moment for fear of entirely losing this beauty and have wasted it because for all the time it existed, its death was the only thing being concerned about.
This novel was a beautiful rendition of just how complicated love can be and how despite all these complications, it can still be seen as the most wondrous thing to live for.
This book was beyond words. The language was beautiful, the story threw your emotions around as if they were in a snow globe, and there were times you had to take a break so you could breathe through all the tension this book created. Everyone who has ever enjoyed literature of any sort should read this. It makes you think about life and the choices we all make.
4.5 Stars
This was beautifully written. From the movie references, to the quotes, to the descriptions of scenery and scent.
This story is forbidden. I like forbidden. Teacher/student. There is this escapist taboo element that allows me a safe space to get lost in the pages.
The heroine in this story was written in such a gritty and realistic way. She owned her shit. She owned her circumstances. This book gave me the feels. It also gave me anxiety. But in a “not sure how this is gonna end, I hope it ends how I want, but it may not...” type of way. It was consuming, compelling and sexy. A great beachy read to get you back in the saddle.
This was beautifully written. From the movie references, to the quotes, to the descriptions of scenery and scent.
This story is forbidden. I like forbidden. Teacher/student. There is this escapist taboo element that allows me a safe space to get lost in the pages.
The heroine in this story was written in such a gritty and realistic way. She owned her shit. She owned her circumstances. This book gave me the feels. It also gave me anxiety. But in a “not sure how this is gonna end, I hope it ends how I want, but it may not...” type of way. It was consuming, compelling and sexy. A great beachy read to get you back in the saddle.
This is a gorgeous, lyrical, and poetic story. I would try to describe what it is about, but not one single word can capture its essence clearly. You could say it is about losing control, or about gaining it. Hopelessness, or endless hope. A ticking time bomb, or all the time in the world. The illusion of love, or the reality of it. Life, happiness, pleasure. It is gritty and frank and raw, but at the same time, it is all starry dreams, elusiveness, and invincibility.
I was intrigued by this idea of a student-teacher story. I didn't expect my breath to catch, to feel these people's problems deep in my bones. Some parts, like the betrayal, blackmail, and discovery of deja vu, were extremely unsettling and tragic. Is there anything worse than becoming your greatest fear? That loss of control was written beautifully.
This story was written from a perspective with hindsight, as if told long in the future or just a few months detached. It also managed to feel absolutely present at the same time. I wish we got to see what became of Maise in the city of (broken?) dreams. Whether she discovered a brave new world or not. In fact, I'm not sure how I felt about the ending. Would I have been happier with a Casablanca moment? Maybe not — that would've been the tragic icing on the proverbial cake. But Maise truly was young and deserved a clean slate. Perhaps her eyes will open to new things anyway. I understand why this book ended where it did, and I suppose that's a testament to its beauty. I don't want their story to end here.
I was intrigued by this idea of a student-teacher story. I didn't expect my breath to catch, to feel these people's problems deep in my bones. Some parts, like the betrayal, blackmail, and discovery of deja vu, were extremely unsettling and tragic. Is there anything worse than becoming your greatest fear? That loss of control was written beautifully.
This story was written from a perspective with hindsight, as if told long in the future or just a few months detached. It also managed to feel absolutely present at the same time. I wish we got to see what became of Maise in the city of (broken?) dreams. Whether she discovered a brave new world or not. In fact, I'm not sure how I felt about the ending. Would I have been happier with a Casablanca moment? Maybe not — that would've been the tragic icing on the proverbial cake. But Maise truly was young and deserved a clean slate. Perhaps her eyes will open to new things anyway. I understand why this book ended where it did, and I suppose that's a testament to its beauty. I don't want their story to end here.