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lizziaha's review against another edition
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
1.5
I thought that this depiction of domestic abuse was dangerous. While it cast an illuminating light on domestic abuse, and attempted to add nuance to a situation that many outside of the situation cannot understand, it also failed to fully put the blame on the abuser. In this book, Ryle, the domestic abuser, explains his bouts of anger as an uncontrollable bursts of emotion during which he essentially blacks out and loses control of himself, and says this is the result of a traumatic event that happened to him. Lily (our main character and the woman who Ryle abuses) wonders, with sympathy, how it must feel to not be able to control your emotions. She says that “it’s not Ryle” in instances when he is abusive and says “Ryle is back” when he becomes apologetic for his actions. This “condition” removes some of the accountability from Ryle, as it perpetuates the idea that he is not the one who is actually abusing Lily. Part of understanding the complexity of abusers is acknowledging that the same person who does good things can also do very bad things, and all those things are wrapped up into one person who deserves to be held accountable for all of those things, regardless of their reasoning or their apologies or their attempts for redemption or their relapses. I also wish that the author had focused more on the emotional aspects of Ryle’s abuse in addition to his physical attacks. He proves to be very controlling and possessive, a common occurrence in abusive situations and one that can be just as dangerous as physical attacks. Lily does not really acknowledge these aspects or how they contribute to the abusive environment. In addition to this potentially damaging depiction of domestic abuse, I thought that the author displayed some prominent biases and prejudice in the way that she handled homelessness, body image, and sexism. (I was particularly affronted by Marshall and Allysa laughing cruelly at the “whore”/“floozy” who had consensually kissed Marshall before Allysa and him had even gotten together. wtf???)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Pregnancy, Sexual assault, Gaslighting, Gun violence, Injury/Injury detail, Domestic abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Rape
Minor: Infertility, Alcohol, Fatphobia, Death of parent, and Sexism
ju11a's review
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Violence, and Domestic abuse
Moderate: Child death, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Abandonment, Alcohol, Blood, Death of parent, Drug use, Fatphobia, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, and Suicidal thoughts
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