Reviews tagging 'Incest'

Youngman: Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan by Lou Sullivan, Zach Ozma, Ellis Martin

7 reviews

rafaelrabbit's review against another edition

5.0

challenging emotional inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Death of parent

Moderate: Alcoholism, Animal death, Homophobia, Misogyny, Medical content, Death of parent, Pandemic/Epidemic

Minor: Incest, Rape, Vomit

imrereads's review against another edition

5.0

emotional informative reflective sad slow-paced

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I don't even know where to begin talking about this. For the days I've been reading this book, I feel I've been thinking about Lou Sullivan for all the hours I put the book down. I don't know if I can give this a review, but I have so many thoughts that I need to spend some time compiling. Here some fragmented thoughts:

It made me think about how much has changed in terms of trans rights and how we're virwed in society – and how much hasn't changed. It was so interesting to see how the terminology changed throughout his diaries, not only his personal way of identifying, but also the standard terms.

For a while I was thinking I wish I could have read this when I was younger, to have had this role model earlier, but I've concluded with being glad I read it as an adult. Lou Sullivan was by no means a perfect man, there are many instances of misogyny to give an example, and I'm glad I read it at a point were it's easy to be reflective and not romanticising.

I love the way he describes the beauty of men. I thought a lot about how he in his younger years especially spoke about wanting to be the men he loved.

This is a beautiful example of a supportive family, standing by him and loving him for who he was. It saddens me that he didn't have uncondintional support in his romantic relationships, rather dealing with men who didn't see him as a man or wanted to restrict the ways he transitioned. I just wanted to yell back through time "you deserve so much better!"

In the end, I cried. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Homophobia, Misogyny, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship

Minor: Incest

chuckyinspace's review against another edition

5.0

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring lighthearted reflective sad medium-paced

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Transphobia, Medical content, Death of parent

Moderate: Hate crime, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, Grief

Minor: Drug use, Incest, Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual violence

bashsbooks's review against another edition

5.0

challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

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Lou Sullivan's diaries made me laugh, cry, scream, scratch my head, text my friends in the middle of the night... I think everyone should read them. He has a really casually poetic style to his writings, and peering directly into his diaries is so intimate. His quote, "They told me at the gender clinic that I could not live as a gay man, but it looks like I will die as one," is going to stay with me for a long time (I've been reciting it to everyone). What an amazing man. How devastating it is that we lost him so young. How lucky we were to have him when we did.

I will say, I didn't love all the stylistic choices the editors made - I wish there had been clearer markers of the passing time, and the footnotes were a little sparse.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cursing, Death, Homophobia, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Death of parent, Alcohol, Dysphoria

Moderate: Animal death, Infidelity, Sexual violence, Gaslighting

Minor: Incest, Police brutality, Car accident, War

-Death of siblings -Graphic descriptions of Sullivan's decline due to HIV/AIDS -Car accident is actually a motorcycle accident -Does it count as deadnaming if he is literally referring to himself? I don't really think so, but you decide for yourself.

suzyreadsbooks's review against another edition

5.0

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“Each day is a blessing and a special moment. How lucky I am to be Lou Sullivan!”

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Homophobia, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Transphobia, Medical content, Medical trauma

Moderate: Sexual violence

Minor: Incest

jainabee's review against another edition

5.0

challenging inspiring sad medium-paced

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What a gift to the world, my heart is bursting with so many feelings. Phenomenal. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body shaming, Death, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Medical content, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, Dysphoria

Moderate: Animal death, Deadnaming, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Fatphobia, Incest, Misogyny, Racism, Self harm, Excrement, Grief, Car accident, Death of parent, Outing, Alcohol

Minor: Biphobia, Cursing

These are the diaries of a queer white person who lived through the 60's, 70's and 80's, and the language and attitudes are of the time. The editors have done a great job to not bowdlerize the life of a complex person facing the traumatic experience of trying to live authentically in the face of so much oppression and ignorance. Not for the squeamish, and full of rich insights and wisdom for those who can handle it.

mars2k's review against another edition

4.5

dark emotional funny informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

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“They told me at the gender clinic that I could not live as a gay man, but it looks like I will die as one.”

I’m not sure how to review a book of diary entries – it feels so wrong rating somebody’s life. I know it would be cliché to call this book inspiring, but it really is. I don’t mean that in a cis “wow, you’re so brave” way. Lou Sullivan himself is inspiring, not only as a gay trans man or even as a queer activist, but as a human being.

It’s also really interesting to see how trans terminology and, more than that, our very understanding of what it means to be trans has changed over the decades. Sullivan describes transness as “a sexual minority (TV/TS) within a sexual minority (homosexual)” and as a disability (due to him being born without a penis), and though this isn’t how I or most other trans people would think of transness today, it’s an honest expression of how Sullivan felt about his own identity.

Another passage I want to highlight is this:

“I can never be a man until my body is whole and I can use it freely and without shame. I may appear in all outward ways to be a man and I may feel in my heart all that a man feels, yet my spirit is hampered and my dreams of being a whole man will always be just dreams... I will always have to back down...my shortcomings will always be a factor. I do not mean that I am not a man, that my living as a man is a lie. I mean that I cannot even fool myself when I stand face-to-face with another man and he is full of pride + privilege + confidence that has been his birthright.”

Again the phrasing is a little clumsy, but his attempt to express abstract thoughts and feelings of otherness comes from the heart.

This book reminded me to be tolerant (though I dislike that word) and to engage with curiosity instead of the impulse to police and to “correct.” Honestly, it’s foolish to think the way we view transness today is somehow the “right” way, to think the vocabulary we use now is the vocabulary that will be used ten, twenty, fifty years from now. It’s all fluid and socially constructed.

We Both Laughed In Pleasure is an emotional rollercoaster from start to finish. Tragedy is punctuated with humour, and vice versa. There’s a lot of sex. A lot of death. And it has a great deal of value as a piece of queer history. An important read. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cursing, Deadnaming, Death, Drug use, Homophobia, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Medical content, Grief, Car accident, Death of parent

Moderate: Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Animal death, Incest, Misogyny, Rape, Sexual violence, Police brutality, Acephobia/Arophobia

Minor: Addiction, Cancer, Mental illness, Suicide, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Abortion, Murder, Lesbophobia