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I have so many notes to go through, but, for now I will say: this is some of Emily’s most beautiful writing. It is heartfelt and poignant. It is reflective and brutal and honest. It is tragedy and love, humour and regret.
I related to so many of these characters in different ways, from Alice’s insecurity around her mother’s feelings towards her to Hayden’s perfectionism and fear of being himself. Very real fears of me were reflected in this book, the anxiety around bringing children into this world which is cruel and dangerous and difficult.
There are things I’d love to know more about, particularly surrounding the outcome of the
I’m already raring for a reread, and I obviously need to listen to the audiobook but, for now, I leave you with some of my favourite quotes presented with absolutely no context:
“If that’s what I meant, then that’s what I would’ve said.”
“Stone-cold sober and he looks almost as drunk as I feel.”
“What if they have to care for me, for years, after I’ve stopped calling them by their nicknames or telling them I love them?”
“I don’t do this.”
“I do.”
“Fine. I do too.”
“This doesn’t have to be the greatest tragedy to ever befall anyone. It doesn’t even have to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“Like I swallowed the sun. Like it’s breaking up every bit of darkness inside me.”
“Maybe every bit of heartbreak in life can be rearranged and used for something beautiful.”
Also, huge shout out to the Pole of Inaccessibility, which is where my heart resides most of the time.
Minor: Child death, Confinement, Death, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Mental illness, Misogyny, Sexism, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Dementia, Grief, Car accident, Abortion, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment
Graphic: Confinement, Death, Grief, Car accident
Graphic: Death of parent
Moderate: Death
Minor: Confinement, Drug use, Infertility, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Forced institutionalization, Dementia, Pregnancy, Abandonment
Graphic: Confinement, Sexual content, Car accident, Death of parent, Alcohol
Minor: Forced institutionalization, Dementia, Gaslighting, Abandonment
Moderate: Sexual content
Minor: Confinement, Grief
Graphic: Death, Grief, Stalking, Death of parent
Moderate: Bullying, Child abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Dementia, Car accident, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol
Minor: Confinement, Infertility, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexism, Forced institutionalization