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careinthelibrary's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
mysterious
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
Amy Tan is a writer who never disappoints. Every time I pick up a book from her backlog, I know I'm in for an engrossing and enlightening reading experience.
The way Amy Tan writes women's relationships with one another and their memory of their mothers and grandmothers has me coming back. These are complex depictions that lean into the light and dark sides of personality and history. And despite the darkness inherent in all her books I've read, there is a lightness to them. Humour, friendship, reunions, all packed into a cute mass market paperback that I picked up from the used bookshop for a dollar.
The ones I've read have all followed a similar pattern: mother(s) and daughter(s) keeping secrets from one another, not understanding one another's lives. There's a communication breakdown and they reach a tipping point of resentment and disconnect. And then the reveal happens (moms share their past trauma in China including horrific upbringings and experiences during war) and it shakes everyone to their core. Cue the waterworks and the familial bonds strengthened. She's so consistent and it works every time -- it's kind of incredible. Yet each one deals with different angles to this formula and doesn't repeat too much. What an illustrious career! I keep coming back for more because I know I'll be satisfied.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Sexual harassment, Domestic abuse, Child abuse, Death, Child death, Pregnancy, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Violence, Sexual violence, and War
Moderate: Cancer, Infidelity, Death of parent, Grief, Gun violence, and Physical abuse
Minor: Homophobia
nannahnannah's review against another edition
4.0
Oh, wow. I fell in love with Amy Tan’s writing and The Kitchen God’s Wife within the first few pages. Due to personal experience I can’t handle books dealing with abuse, but I could not stop reading this one. No wonder Amy Tan is as celebrated as she is! I’m definitely going to check out what else she’s written.
Representation:
- almost every character is Chinese
For more than fifty years, Winnie and Helen have kept what happened about their lives in China a secret. But Helen threatens to reveal everything to Winnie’s daughter, Pearl, because she fears she’s dying. Winnie is determined to tell her daughter everything first, and to tell it all right -- as Helen would get it all wrong. So she tells her life story to Pearl: from her mother leaving her to live with her negligent aunts on an island to her abusive husband to her immigrating to America. Little does she know Pearl has a secret of her own to share.
Most of the book except for the chapters near the front and the end are in Winnie’s PoV, where she’s telling the story of her past. The others are in her daughter’s, Pearl’s. You could say the story is about her life in China, her hardships, what she overcame, but I believe it’s about the relationship between mother and daughter -- even if we don’t see them interact many times throughout the book (in comparison to the scenes when they’re alone; when Pearl doesn’t exist yet; etc.).
It’s Amy Tan’s way of crafting and writing about this mother-daughter relationship that really hooked me, Winnie’s relationship with Helen’s (which I believe was described as something that’s not quite best friends but a bond stronger than sisters), and her understanding of chronic pain when it comes to Pearl’s secret -- that she has MS. A couple pages really hit hard.
But like I said above, I usually don’t read books that contain a lot of abuse. I just can’t read it for obvious reasons. But I couldn’t put this down, and … I’m not sure if maybe the abuser here was just … so much like mine and it was like staring into a fire and being unable to stop or if it was just that captivating.
There were, of course, things I didn’t enjoy, mostly the fatphobia present throughout the entire novel, and then especially the intersexism, which seemed to come out of nowhere, interrupt everything, and make me feel absolutely disgusted with who I am. The intersexism (as well as homophobia) is present on just two pages -- that’s it -- but wow, did it make me sick. Winnie’s ex-husband is one of the worst human beings you could imagine -- and a woman she grew up with then says, “My husband was still worse! He was a [-n intersex person].” And at first Winnie doesn’t even believe her. Then she says, “But how could Miao-miao marry you off to such a person?” and proceeds to ask about his sexual organs. Did you see them? How did you know? etc. But the worst is when the woman says she found her husband in bed with another man and says, “The female side of him had enticed a male.”
Just on two pages. There’s absolutely no need to include this in the story. To put this intersex person as being on the same level of nastiness as an abuser, murderer, etc. I don’t care if it’s still in the PoV of the mother, the author decided for some reason to add this in here. Does she think it’s humorous? I don’t know.
But that’s the only reason this is four stars instead of five. I was completely enraptured by this book.
Representation:
- almost every character is Chinese
For more than fifty years, Winnie and Helen have kept what happened about their lives in China a secret. But Helen threatens to reveal everything to Winnie’s daughter, Pearl, because she fears she’s dying. Winnie is determined to tell her daughter everything first, and to tell it all right -- as Helen would get it all wrong. So she tells her life story to Pearl: from her mother leaving her to live with her negligent aunts on an island to her abusive husband to her immigrating to America. Little does she know Pearl has a secret of her own to share.
Most of the book except for the chapters near the front and the end are in Winnie’s PoV, where she’s telling the story of her past. The others are in her daughter’s, Pearl’s. You could say the story is about her life in China, her hardships, what she overcame, but I believe it’s about the relationship between mother and daughter -- even if we don’t see them interact many times throughout the book (in comparison to the scenes when they’re alone; when Pearl doesn’t exist yet; etc.).
It’s Amy Tan’s way of crafting and writing about this mother-daughter relationship that really hooked me, Winnie’s relationship with Helen’s (which I believe was described as something that’s not quite best friends but a bond stronger than sisters), and her understanding of chronic pain when it comes to Pearl’s secret -- that she has MS. A couple pages really hit hard.
But like I said above, I usually don’t read books that contain a lot of abuse. I just can’t read it for obvious reasons. But I couldn’t put this down, and … I’m not sure if maybe the abuser here was just … so much like mine and it was like staring into a fire and being unable to stop or if it was just that captivating.
There were, of course, things I didn’t enjoy, mostly the fatphobia present throughout the entire novel, and then especially the intersexism, which seemed to come out of nowhere, interrupt everything, and make me feel absolutely disgusted with who I am. The intersexism (as well as homophobia) is present on just two pages -- that’s it -- but wow, did it make me sick. Winnie’s ex-husband is one of the worst human beings you could imagine -- and a woman she grew up with then says, “My husband was still worse! He was a [-n intersex person].” And at first Winnie doesn’t even believe her. Then she says, “But how could Miao-miao marry you off to such a person?” and proceeds to ask about his sexual organs. Did you see them? How did you know? etc. But the worst is when the woman says she found her husband in bed with another man and says, “The female side of him had enticed a male.”
Just on two pages. There’s absolutely no need to include this in the story. To put this intersex person as being on the same level of nastiness as an abuser, murderer, etc. I don’t care if it’s still in the PoV of the mother, the author decided for some reason to add this in here. Does she think it’s humorous? I don’t know.
But that’s the only reason this is four stars instead of five. I was completely enraptured by this book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse and Rape
Moderate: Fatphobia
Minor: Racism and Homophobia
also: ableist slurs, intersexism, casual cissexismlilcoppertop's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infidelity
Moderate: Rape, Pregnancy, Child abuse, Child death, Sexual violence, and Abandonment
Minor: Homophobia, Suicide, and Suicidal thoughts
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