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howdyitshunter's review
4.75
Graphic: Grief, Homophobia, and Racism
badbadwolf's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Homophobia and Terminal illness
Moderate: Suicide attempt, Sexual content, Suicide, Toxic friendship, Drug use, Misogyny, Homophobia, Cursing, Death, Emotional abuse, Medical content, Alcohol, Abandonment, Car accident, Child abuse, Bullying, Grief, Hate crime, Medical trauma, Religious bigotry, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, and Toxic relationship
_alias_ali's review against another edition
3.75
Graphic: Terminal illness, Chronic illness, Medical content, Medical trauma, Pandemic/Epidemic, Death, Grief, Vomit, and Homophobia
Moderate: Pregnancy, Suicide, Lesbophobia, Sexual assault, Religious bigotry, Racism, and Hate crime
Minor: Classism, Alcoholism, Blood, Child abuse, Cancer, Biphobia, Car accident, Body shaming, Bullying, Addiction, and Child death
bumblemee's review against another edition
5.0
This book will stay with me forever, I think. And with it the names and stories of many men it tells you about, as well as Ruth herself.
I don't even know how to find the right words for this book. I'll start by saying that Ruth is a very impressive person. She just keeps going and going and going, she just does not stop, no matter the obstacles she's presented with. She's really good at reading people and finding out how to approach them - no matter if it's someone whose help she needs or people she wants to inform about safer sex practices when she knows they won't to listen if she doesn't do it right. Her resourcefulness had me stunned more than once.
As someone who wasn't alive during the events of this book, it feels like it's very good at transporting the reader to that time period. - I watched an interview with Ruth on YouTube and she said she thinks people are thankful that she's sort of a vessel for the stories of people that would've been forgotton without her. This is very true for me. I am thankful she let Kevin Carr O'Leary into her life/memories and write them down, because this was an important read for me and I think it is for others, too.
There's a lot of pain within these pages, it hurt a lot to read this book. The way Ruth and especially her guys (as she calls them) were treated was brutal. I know this was the reality then and it therefore didn't shock me, but that didn't take away any of the anger and rage it made me feel. Or any of the sadness. This book made me cry within the first 15 pages and a few times after that. - Because of the contens, of course, but also because the words that transported said contents.
The writing style feels just so appropriate, the voice is so clear. It has beautiful words, but it doesn't sugarcoat anything. Sometimes tragic things are delivered within a short sentence, somewhere among all the other sentences, which makes so much sense, because this new tragic thing was normality for Ruth, it happened all of the time. But this kind of writing does not take away any of the impact, instead adding to it in my opinion.
It isn't all sad though. There's also wholesome moments, drag shows and people with a lot of love for one another. Also, Ruth has a lot of wit and her voice can be very entertaining.
I liked how you get to know different individuals better and how all of them were treated with a lot of love. You get to know them trough Ruth's eyes and can tell how special each of them was, which is why I said in the beginning of this review that some of the names will stay with me.
All in all I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn something about these years of the epidemic in the USA and how it impacted the queer community. In my opinion this book is written with a lot of care. I must say though that it isn't an easy read, at least to me it really wasn't. I would recommend to read this when you're in a good headspace.
Oh, one last thing: This book centers on Ruth and her work and while it does deal with political issues, it doesn't go beyond Ruth's life and perspective. So if you want there to be a broader context and reflection on "the bigger picture", this isn't really the book for you as it stays very personal.
Graphic: Religious bigotry, Homophobia, Pandemic/Epidemic, Terminal illness, Death, Emotional abuse, Medical content, and Grief
Moderate: Drug abuse, Hate crime, Misogyny, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Sexual harassment, and Suicide
Minor: Car accident
paniquemecanique's review against another edition
4.0
It was a really good memoir, focused on a very specific period of time, telling stories in a factual way while still being heart wrenching. I guess we could reproach her to write in a way that is not full of emotions, but considering it is her real life and it would be to go through so much pain again, it is understandable. Also the events are so tragic that even without a sappy writing style, you will be completely upset.
I am again putting people on pedestals and won't do it here, but i still felt very very inspired by her dedication and how much of a calling this was for her. My favorite chapter is the number 14, where she describes her first experience at a drag show. You could feel her falling I love without meaning to, and I could feel it from where I was. It was magical and horrendous at the same time to feel so close to the gay community at the time.
So, it is a must read, but always to read with a bit of a step back remembering the perspective of the person and the political aspects. But I would definitely always recommend it to anyone.
Graphic: Terminal illness, Grief, Homophobia, Medical content, Pandemic/Epidemic, Vomit, Body horror, Dementia, Gore, Religious bigotry, and Death
Moderate: Bullying and Adult/minor relationship
stabilesero's review against another edition
3.0
This has potential; if Burks left out the unnecessary snippets of her life (i.e. relationship with Mitch) and the grating repetitive nature of "I'm short of money" to "oh I know a guy, boom, I have $250".
It had me with mixed feelings because I really felt for the young men she cared for and helped, their stories really hit hard how cruel others were and how discriminated against they were. The desperate need for medical help and the appalling treatment they received.
This book also heavily knelt on religion and church which again, I found boring and tiresome as although I appreciate Burks' involvement with religion; it was another part that was unnecessarily dragged out and could have shortened the novel by qt least 100 pages.
I'm sure there are better novels out there about individuals who helped with the movement towards fairer treatment of HIV and AIDS patients and that's not to dismiss Burks' work, that's just to say I'm hoping there's other stories out there with more focus on the work and less on the religious uproar.
Graphic: Death, Grief, Homophobia, Chronic illness, and Hate crime
karac15's review against another edition
4.25
Graphic: Death, Homophobia, Transphobia, Terminal illness, Chronic illness, Grief, and Pandemic/Epidemic
Moderate: Car accident, Hate crime, Medical content, Medical trauma, Misogyny, Sexism, Religious bigotry, Cancer, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , and Suicide attempt
helloits_jen's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Homophobia, Hate crime, Outing, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Injury/Injury detail, Pandemic/Epidemic, Medical trauma, Medical content, Xenophobia, Vomit, Terminal illness, Sexual harassment, Grief, Excrement, Death, Chronic illness, Transphobia, Suicide attempt, and Religious bigotry
lily_west's review
4.0
Graphic: Grief, Misogyny, Religious bigotry, Sexism, Hate crime, Terminal illness, Chronic illness, Dementia, Death, Homophobia, and Medical content
Moderate: Child abuse
Minor: Drug use and Addiction
emilyeehaw's review against another edition
4.25
and beyond all of the material things she was able to provide to the gay community, she really was a strong ally in a DARK time where not enough people were acknowledging the harm that was being done, and if they did acknowledge it, it was in the same breath they were condemning gay men. she offered compassion, love, and most importantly hope when those things seemed hard to come by in hot springs, arkansas for the people fighting AIDS. i liked that as much as this was a book about her, many of the men she helped were spotlighted as well. the book was full of stories of how they helped her and cared for her just as much as she did for them. i loved the inclusion of some pictures from this time during her work (billy <3), it added so much more life to the story and helped me put faces to the names.
the ending seemed a bit rushed to me but i also understand why the story was cut off where it was and how the authors had to wrap things up. overall, a very beautiful memoir about a deeply interesting person !
Graphic: Death, Terminal illness, Homophobia, and Religious bigotry
Moderate: Suicide and Grief