Reviews with content warning for Suicidal thoughts - I'm Afraid of Men

Reviews tagging 'Suicidal thoughts'

I'm Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya

27 reviews

ireadinbed's review against another edition

emotional informative reflective fast-paced

4.75

Great, small book.

I felt really pulled into this memoir and thought the author had some really good philosopical points that made me think as well as great voice.

There were a couple of sections where internal and external dialogue were not formatted distinctly and i had to read those sections so many times to understand what the author was trying to say.

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orchidd's review against another edition

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informative fast-paced

3.0

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ezwolf's review against another edition

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emotional informative reflective fast-paced

5.0

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aileron's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective fast-paced

3.0

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mattiedancer's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

Writing: 5⭐️/5

The writing in this short memoir is controlled and technically sound. And yet, beyond that, Shraya utilizes force and precision in accounting her experiences with tender, sensitive moments of her life. I think it’s hard to discuss our own trauma without leaning either toward self-indulgence or feigned humility, but Shraya’s writing is a testament to how to craft stories with meaning without sounding trite or repetitive or indulgent.

Approach: 5⭐️/5

The book is divided into three sections: the intro, you, and me. The you section is written in second person, forcing the reader into the shoes of her oppressors, her bullies, and even her beloved, leaves a sense of humanity in those stories from all angles, compelling reader to reconcile the pain with the source. Likewise, the switch to me reminds us of the writer, of Shraya, and her own voice in her life. It’s an effective approach to stories that circle around both an internal struggle for self-identity and the external vision that self-expression ultimately communicates. Eventually, I also got the sense of a ‘manifesto’ forming in the background of the memoir, which was subtle and clear.

Content: 5⭐️/5

The sections of her life that are clearly and concisely chosen and communicated to the reader make this not only a short book but ultimately a controlled read. The focus is obvious, evident in every story we read. Again, I find it hard not to over-indulge when sharing life stories, but Shraya remains in control of that throughout.

Who Should Read This Book?

Those looking for a memoir about transitioning and accepting one’s sexual identity
Readers wanting to learn more about Shraya
Readers who want to challenge and grow in their feminism and LGBTQ+ understanding and alliance

Content Warnings?

Misogyny, sexism, racism, transphobia, biphobia, homophobia, bullying

Post-Reading Rating: 5⭐️/5

The ending was quite stunningly written and communicated.

Final Rating: 5⭐️/5

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blackcatkai's review

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challenging informative fast-paced

5.0

CW: sexism, trans/homophobia, racism, bullying, infidelity, suicidal thoughts mentioned, casual ableism, body shaming, sexual assault in the form of nonconsensual touching, mental illness, harassment, mentions of toxic masculinity

a short memoir from Vivek Shraya about her growing up & into herself as a queer transwoman and all the internalized/societal issues shes faced involving men as well as women. she touches on tough topics but there's good things here, too. I love her writing and insights about gender itself as well as gender expression. I would definitely recommend this and will be reading more of her work in the future.

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frantically's review against another edition

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challenging informative inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

4.25

“I have always been disturbed by this transition, by the reality that often the only way to capture someone’s attention and to encourage them to recognize their own internal biases (and to work to alter them) is to confront them with sensational stories of suffering. Why is my humanity only seen or cared about when I share the ways in which I have been victimized and violated?”

This book not only spoke to me (as someone's who's — surprise, surprise — also afraid of men) it taught me so much about the intricate ways a trans-woman's fear of men, fear of masculinity/femininity is different from mine.

What I especially loved being themed is how it is often gay men that make queer spaces unsafe and uncomfortable for female-presenting people. Their gayness does not excuse the casual misogyny they often display.

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svmreads's review against another edition

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reflective medium-paced

4.25

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krystalframe's review against another edition

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3.5

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jenny_librarian's review against another edition

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informative inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

4.75

As expected, most of this book could be summarized by “men are trash”.

But it’s more than that. Because sometimes women are trash too, and cis women and trans men. We can all be trash because the patriarchy and our Westernized strict divisions of genders made us so.

Ultimately, this isn’t just a book to rehash how awful men can be (although it does that quite well). It’s the lived experience of a trans woman and a reflection on what could change if we loosened the rigidity and definition of gender roles.

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