4.34 AVERAGE


Having been a two-time poet laureate of the United States, author Natasha Tretheway, gives her account and experience prior to and after her mother's death.
It starts off with her as a young girl, bi-racial, in the south. desegregation slowly emerging.
I can only imagine being her at that time; trying to learn, being supported by both parents, but one constantly traveling for work. Like Author Tretheway, my grandmother was my foot-hold as well for many years.

After hitting middle school and parents separated/divorced, a new step-father is introduced, along with a step brother. This is a BIG turning point for her, but she persisted and prevailed while dealing with turmoil and threats.
Slowly, her imagination and thoughts come full circle to that fatal day when everything for her changed.

She gives us ALL her emotions, raw, uncut. Dealing with grief, loss, and finding herself. She remained focused and accomplished throughout. Her grandmother right by her side.
Heartfelt and emotional, it may bring you to tears as it did for me.
dark emotional sad fast-paced
challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

This is a powerful and devastating account of domestic abuse, murder and a daughter's accounting and reclaiming of her mother's story. Throughout the first part of the book Trethewey speaks to her young self, retelling the story that has profoundly impacted and informed her life and work as a poet and writer. Her masterful telling is full of the longing and lost promise of the woman she shows as loving, strong and intelligent; so much more than the victim of an obsessive man and the systems of protection that failed her.

From the beginning of this memoir the reader is aware that the author's mother will be killed by her abusive husband when the author is 19 years old. We are then taken on the journey of the author's memories, from a time when she was very young, in Mississippi, living among relatives and with her parents' interracial marriage still intact, to her and her mother setting out for Atlanta and a new life, the two of them bonding as they drive to Atlanta listening to soul music together.
Natasha, the author, is writing the book in her middle years,, finally able to come to terms and revisit the past. She does so with beautifully written prose as well as an open heart. She is willing to share her pain with the reader, but never in a self-indulgent way. She does so as objectively as she can.
The mother, Gwen, is smart, beautiful, caring, and successful. Even so, she falls prey to an abuser, and stays with him for years, which changes everything for Natasha.
This is Gwen's story, as well as Natasha's, and it serves as a reminder that anyone can succumb to abuse, and that we all need to look out for one another.
While hard to read, I was riveted by this deeply moving story and kept rooting for Gwen to escape and have a happy ending.

I picked up this book after listening to an interview with Natasha Trethewey on Fresh Air (in case anyone is interested https://www.npr.org/2020/07/28/896205843/poet-natasha-trethewey) and I read it over a long weekend away at the coast. This was both a compelling read and a very challenging read. Trethewey is a poet, her writing is beautiful, which makes this story that much more heartbreaking.

Trethewey spends a great deal of time bringing to life her early years growing up in the south, the child of a Black woman from Mississippi and white Canadian father, during a time when interracial marriage was far from accepted. Her father, a writer and professor, is absent much of the time and eventually her parents divorce, but he instills a love of learning and language in her. Her grandparent home is a constant in her life and she takes great care in bringing her time there with family to life, so much so we can almost hear the squeaky floorboards of this old house and see the curtains waving in the balmy evening breeze. And her mother, Gwen, is an ever-present force, a woman ahead of her time who values family and home and loves her daughter without question. Trethewey truly brings her mother to life.

Once single, her mother moves to Atlanta, where she earns a master’s degree and enjoys her new life and work in the city. Soon she meets someone, and somewhat surprisingly they marry, even though her family is not fully in support of the marriage. Here is where things take a dark turn.

Later, long after her mother’s murder at the hands of her step-father, Trethewey is in Atlanta and by chance runs into a former law enforcement officer who worked on her mother’s case. He provides Trethewey with case records, from a photo, which dredges up memories, to a chilling transcript of the recording of the conversation between her mother and her step-father in the days before her mother’s murder.

I read this book quickly, it’s a slim book, but there were some passages that I sat with for hours, setting the book down to hold back tears and sit with the weight of the story. It is a beautiful and painful story.
reflective sad fast-paced

4.5 stars. This was incredibly well curated in terms of plot strands. Trethewey is a very gifted writer, especially in her ability to gracefully observe metaphors in every day situations. A lot of this memoir was gutting to read, particularly the transcripts between her mother and the perpetrator. I think it was a really helpful read for shedding light on the complexities of domestic violence.
dark emotional sad medium-paced

Stunning and tragic.