Reviews with content warning for Medical trauma - Gender Queer: een memoir

Reviews tagging 'Medical trauma'

Gender Queer: een memoir by Maia Kobabe

244 reviews

lycangrrl's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful informative inspiring fast-paced

4.5

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steveatwaywords's review against another edition

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challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

4.75

This book has already received noteworthy and deserved acclaim, not simply because it is a genuine and honest account of personal questions around sexual and gender identity for young people (and older, as well) but because it walks vulnerably but bravely into territories of personhood that few books like it do: a focus on the body challenges created by the traditions of binary identities, from the social to retail to health care.

It's fascinating that Kobabe, having been raised in a fortunately fairly open-minded family, nevertheless struggles with questions e can't easily articulate with anyone. One can imagine how difficult this is, therefore, for most; more, ironically and tragically, this book in particular has endured numerous challenges to inclusion in schools and libraries for a fairly limited number of explicit panels when it is this very story of dialogue and inclusion which is the subject of the work.

Perhaps some wish it banned because the topic is unsettling, uncomfortable. It absolutely is, especially for readers who find themselves too easily identified in its pages (myself at times included). It is common, then, that we might say that "this book is not for everyone;" I reply in this rare instance, however, precisely that this book is and must be for everyone. As painfully educational as it might be for some, this temporary discomfort is a point of growth. Equally, however, it is a space of affirmation for anyone (not merely the queer) who has hard questions about what is normal, what is healthy, what is shared, and who they are.

While Kobabe's chosen pronouns, for instance, are less known to me (e, em, eir>- as suggested by Michael Spivak), the simple and temporary struggle I have with them is substantially minute in contrast to the recognition and comfort (re: respect) of the one I am addressing. And so it goes with the constantly evolving linguistic landscape as we attempt, fit and refit, discard and revise the various names and labels of all peoples. Gender Queer obviously doesn't make people gay: it addresses so many of our unspoken assumptions and recognizes their legitimacy.

The reading is quick and basic in its assumptions of what previous knowledge a reader brings to it. Its topics are often explicit and real--periods, sexual experimentation, graphic conversations, love--and it does not end absolutely in a cynical or optimistic space. There is yet work to be done for all of us. And Kobabe's specific gender identity, troublesome for all to pin down, is mostly due to the failures of arbitrary language and our limited framings of identity. But along the way Kobabe offers enough other thinkers and writers on the subject for readers to dig further.

For young readers with questions, this is an excellent book. For the rest of us, I wonder what an unwillingness to spend a couple of hours asking vital questions along with Maia Kobabe is really about.

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rowynoconnor's review against another edition

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adventurous informative reflective fast-paced

5.0

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overlap's review against another edition

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emotional informative fast-paced

2.5

I really wanted more from this book. Like other readers, I felt like it didn’t have a strong conclusion, and that it didn’t really extend the author’s experience beyond emself into a broader understanding of queerness and transness.
I also agree with other reviews saying that the inclusion of Tumblr culture weakens the book. Besides the short cultural relevancy of such things, I do not really need to know about the fact that you shipped two brothers with each other in a TV show, or that you wrote 1D fanfiction in college. Both of those inclusions left a bad taste in my mouth, especially the part where e “researched” for fanfiction by finding someone to make out with on a dating app. You can disagree with that, and maybe I just don’t know enough about dating life, but making out with someone as “research” felt odd to me. Do I think a memoir needs to portray the author in the best light? No! I think there’s merit to being real. But I do think when those inclusions are not super…necessary? Then it does muddle the message a bit. Additionally, the constant Harry Potter references felt odd especially considering (gestures vaguely).
I think it’s hard to draw the line between truthful memoir and a book that helps others discover themselves and see themselves. Personally, I think some clearer reflection or a stronger message or thesis would have helped this book a lot, other than just “this is me.” For example, with eir aunt’s concerns about transness and misogyny—why Not break those down for the reader??
I really wanted to like this memoir, but it felt not quite finished or concluded enough for my tastes. I enjoyed the art style and the real depiction of the author’s experience, but there were just too many missteps to overlook, and it feels very stuck in a certain time period.

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