Scan barcode
c_lde's review against another edition
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism
Moderate: Sexual harassment and Mental illness
Minor: Alcohol and Bullying
ninahuynh's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
The twist at the end bringing us back to the first chapter. As a woman, the intense misogyny Kim Jiyoung faces is all too familiar- and angering. Cho Nam-Joo really did well in placing the reader in Kim's shoes without a even using the first-person. A must read!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Pregnancy, and Bullying
alba_marie's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
“I suffered deathly pain to have our child. My routine, my dreams, my entire life, my self, I gave it all up to raise our child, and I’ve become vermin.”
How can a 3.5 hour long audiobook be so terrifying? No vampires or ghosts, not even an apocalypse in sight (the one thing that usually scares me silly). Nope, this is a novella that packs gut punch after gut punch, the story of a South Korean women - in fact, the story of all South Korean women, wrapped up in one. It is a story that reveals in dry, wrenching detail about how girls and women - even before they are born - are made to feel less than men, less worthy, less smart, less human.
Kim Jiyoung (I'm told Jiyoung was the most popular baby name in 1982 there) is a sort of "every woman" who has had a nervous breakdown of sorts after giving birth. Instead of immediately answering the question of why, we head back in time, even before she was born when her mother was trying to conceive her (well - not her, trying to conceive a boy). We hear about how she always had to share treats with her sister when her brother got his own, that she had to share a room with her sis and gran (brother got his own!), how the dad and brother never did housework.
We hear about school and how she is bullied, how the boys get to eat first, how the girls get in trouble for reported a pervert flasher but the flasher doesn't, how the girls are punished for boys bad behaviour. Girls school uniforms are treated differently than boys. Girls are scolded for exciting the boys. When boys torment the girls, they are told "oh it just that he likes you!"
In the work environment, it's worse. Women are looked down upon, looked over for promotions. The jobs they get are shittier and they are expected to do the office house work too - but not the men of course. Men can treat women like sexual objects or slaves or vermin, but of course, the women can't speak up. A few do, but not enough and those who do, suffer. Men share women's images on porn sites without their knowledge and get confused why they should get in trouble.
Korea has terrible childcare systems it seems - women are almost forced to stop working when they have a kid. And not having a kid turns you into pariah. Men don't do their share - they just "help out" from time to time and pat themselves on the back. The above quote was Jiyoung, who says it after overhearing men call her "vermin" or mother roach" because she dared drink a coffee in the park when her child was in daycare- she's jus leeching off her husband's pay.
Plus, putting your kid in daycare apparently makes you a bad mum - well, I guess I'll be one then! Gladly, do your worst, world. I have my boxing gloves at the ready.
This is all horrible and disgusting. While better here in Europe than in Korea, I see elements of all of this, and have experienced some of it myself. I think the most significant hurdle we in Ireland/Europe need to solve is friggin' paid daycare! FFS why can the gov't fork out crap tons of money for all sorts of extraneous projects but won't impose affordable daycare? Won't offer maternity leave ate a LIVING WAGE? Won't give a equivalent amount of paternity leave? Won't impose businesses to help out with costs? And then they wonder why the population is decreasing, and they start freaking out about social security. Want us to have kids? Feckin make it affordable, hello!
The one thing that bugged me from Jiyoung and the other women though is that it is a two way street. I make sure I call out sexism when I see it. I may give someone I don't know the benefit of the doubt briefly, but I will still call it out. It drives me crazy when people don’t SAY what they mean. Jiyoung repeatedly thinks of things she wants to say but doesn't say it.
Mostly she holds back because of the overt sexist and misogynist environment, because of negative bad reactions and consequences, and because of the way she was poorly raised. But I want to shake her and all the women like her and just be like SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. How can you expect men to change their shitty misogynist ways if you won't point it out and make them think about their words and actions and thoughts? The blame is disproportionately theirs of course. But not entirely - if you don’t stand up for yourself, if you don’t explain why something is wrong to others, they will keep doing it. It’s hard, I know. Easier said than done. And sounds like they system in Korea is very corrupt. But change won’t happen if no one demands it, if no one forces bad, wrong idiots to change.
Anyway, READ THIS. Men and women! It's short, there's an audiobook, it's readily available - so there are no excuses. This novella distills the sexism that still pervades every part of a woman's life in the modern world and even if it makes you want to punch a wall or forgo men totally or move to a desolate island with a mountain of books and not a dude in sight, Kim Jiyoung will make you reconsider how both men and women continue to contribute to sexism in women's lives from conception to death. And maybe, just maybe, it will incite you to adjust the way you think, act, and move forward to a better world.
A few quotes I wrote down (in the last hour of the audiobook as I was doing garden work for most of it):
The therapist: “Looking at the memories she shared, I realise I may have misdiagnosed her. I’m not saying I was wrong; only that I’ve come to realise that there is an entire world that I wasn’t aware of. If I were an average male in hiss 40s, I would have gone through life without this awareness."
"The planning team was hand picked by the head of the company. The section managers were chosen because the planning team needed a strong foundation and the men were picked because it was a long term project. The head of the company knew that the nature and the intensity of the marketing agency job made it difficult to maintain a decent work/life balance, especially if childcare came into play. Therefore he di not think of female employees as long term colleagues. He had no intention of giving employees better hours and better benefits. he found it more cost efficient to invest employees who would last in this environment than to make the environment more accommodating.”
"Revenue drives a businessman and you can’t blame someone for wanting maximise output with minimum input - but is it right to maximise short term efficiencies and balance sheets?"
"-I'll help out with everything when the baby comes.
- Why do you keep saying 'help out' as if you're volunteering? Don't you live here too? What are you sacrificing to have a child?"
How can a 3.5 hour long audiobook be so terrifying? No vampires or ghosts, not even an apocalypse in sight (the one thing that usually scares me silly). Nope, this is a novella that packs gut punch after gut punch, the story of a South Korean women - in fact, the story of all South Korean women, wrapped up in one. It is a story that reveals in dry, wrenching detail about how girls and women - even before they are born - are made to feel less than men, less worthy, less smart, less human.
Kim Jiyoung (I'm told Jiyoung was the most popular baby name in 1982 there) is a sort of "every woman" who has had a nervous breakdown of sorts after giving birth. Instead of immediately answering the question of why, we head back in time, even before she was born when her mother was trying to conceive her (well - not her, trying to conceive a boy). We hear about how she always had to share treats with her sister when her brother got his own, that she had to share a room with her sis and gran (brother got his own!), how the dad and brother never did housework.
We hear about school and how she is bullied, how the boys get to eat first, how the girls get in trouble for reported a pervert flasher but the flasher doesn't, how the girls are punished for boys bad behaviour. Girls school uniforms are treated differently than boys. Girls are scolded for exciting the boys. When boys torment the girls, they are told "oh it just that he likes you!"
In the work environment, it's worse. Women are looked down upon, looked over for promotions. The jobs they get are shittier and they are expected to do the office house work too - but not the men of course. Men can treat women like sexual objects or slaves or vermin, but of course, the women can't speak up. A few do, but not enough and those who do, suffer. Men share women's images on porn sites without their knowledge and get confused why they should get in trouble.
Korea has terrible childcare systems it seems - women are almost forced to stop working when they have a kid. And not having a kid turns you into pariah. Men don't do their share - they just "help out" from time to time and pat themselves on the back. The above quote was Jiyoung, who says it after overhearing men call her "vermin" or mother roach" because she dared drink a coffee in the park when her child was in daycare- she's jus leeching off her husband's pay.
Plus, putting your kid in daycare apparently makes you a bad mum - well, I guess I'll be one then! Gladly, do your worst, world. I have my boxing gloves at the ready.
This is all horrible and disgusting. While better here in Europe than in Korea, I see elements of all of this, and have experienced some of it myself. I think the most significant hurdle we in Ireland/Europe need to solve is friggin' paid daycare! FFS why can the gov't fork out crap tons of money for all sorts of extraneous projects but won't impose affordable daycare? Won't offer maternity leave ate a LIVING WAGE? Won't give a equivalent amount of paternity leave? Won't impose businesses to help out with costs? And then they wonder why the population is decreasing, and they start freaking out about social security. Want us to have kids? Feckin make it affordable, hello!
The one thing that bugged me from Jiyoung and the other women though is that it is a two way street. I make sure I call out sexism when I see it. I may give someone I don't know the benefit of the doubt briefly, but I will still call it out. It drives me crazy when people don’t SAY what they mean. Jiyoung repeatedly thinks of things she wants to say but doesn't say it.
Mostly she holds back because of the overt sexist and misogynist environment, because of negative bad reactions and consequences, and because of the way she was poorly raised. But I want to shake her and all the women like her and just be like SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. How can you expect men to change their shitty misogynist ways if you won't point it out and make them think about their words and actions and thoughts? The blame is disproportionately theirs of course. But not entirely - if you don’t stand up for yourself, if you don’t explain why something is wrong to others, they will keep doing it. It’s hard, I know. Easier said than done. And sounds like they system in Korea is very corrupt. But change won’t happen if no one demands it, if no one forces bad, wrong idiots to change.
Anyway, READ THIS. Men and women! It's short, there's an audiobook, it's readily available - so there are no excuses. This novella distills the sexism that still pervades every part of a woman's life in the modern world and even if it makes you want to punch a wall or forgo men totally or move to a desolate island with a mountain of books and not a dude in sight, Kim Jiyoung will make you reconsider how both men and women continue to contribute to sexism in women's lives from conception to death. And maybe, just maybe, it will incite you to adjust the way you think, act, and move forward to a better world.
A few quotes I wrote down (in the last hour of the audiobook as I was doing garden work for most of it):
The therapist: “Looking at the memories she shared, I realise I may have misdiagnosed her. I’m not saying I was wrong; only that I’ve come to realise that there is an entire world that I wasn’t aware of. If I were an average male in hiss 40s, I would have gone through life without this awareness."
"The planning team was hand picked by the head of the company. The section managers were chosen because the planning team needed a strong foundation and the men were picked because it was a long term project. The head of the company knew that the nature and the intensity of the marketing agency job made it difficult to maintain a decent work/life balance, especially if childcare came into play. Therefore he di not think of female employees as long term colleagues. He had no intention of giving employees better hours and better benefits. he found it more cost efficient to invest employees who would last in this environment than to make the environment more accommodating.”
"Revenue drives a businessman and you can’t blame someone for wanting maximise output with minimum input - but is it right to maximise short term efficiencies and balance sheets?"
"-I'll help out with everything when the baby comes.
- Why do you keep saying 'help out' as if you're volunteering? Don't you live here too? What are you sacrificing to have a child?"
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism and Bullying
lestatsoul's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism
Moderate: Classism, Emotional abuse, Bullying, Forced institutionalization, Abortion, and Body shaming
claudiamacpherson's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexism and Misogyny
Minor: Vomit, Emotional abuse, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Miscarriage, and Bullying
deem4's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Misogyny, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders, Pregnancy, and Mental illness
Minor: Bullying
thedisabledreader's review
dark
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Pregnancy, Misogyny, Racism, Sexism, Mental illness, and Toxic relationship
ifweweresorrows's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Mental illness, Misogyny, and Sexism
Moderate: Abortion
Minor: Bullying, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment
nabila99's review against another edition
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gaslighting and Misogyny
Moderate: Sexual assault, Classism, Bullying, and Sexual harassment
Minor: Vomit, Abortion, and Mental illness
laurareads87's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 lives up to the author's intentions to write a work that sparks conversation about Korean women's experiences with sexism and misogyny at home, in school, and at work. The book felt simultaneously very familiar and very infuriating -- I cannot say that I was surprised by the protagonist's experiences as many of them are not dissimilar to my own, yet finishing it I find myself affected nonetheless. The author captures misogyny in all of its everydayness: its manifestations in relationships between partners, strangers, colleagues, the excuses men make to dismiss its existence, and its reproduction by even those who consider themselves progressive. The incorporation of a few footnoted statistics (about gender and employment, wage gaps, etc. in Korea) is highly effective and, I think, is valuable context, particularly for non-Korean readers.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, Sexism, Sexual violence, and Stalking
Moderate: Medical trauma, Bullying, Body shaming, Mental illness, and Medical content
Minor: Abortion and Miscarriage