Reviews with content warning for Physical abuse - In the Dream House

a mournful, gutting, soaring reprise of abuse in a lesbian relationship. as a lesbian, neoteric and unwilted, this is the most important book i have read in some time. i am forever grateful to machado for offering me insight into something i’m sure i would never be able to understand unless i lived through the experience, “you can be hurt by people who look just like you. not only can it happen, it probably will, because the world is full of hurt people who hurt people. even if the dominant culture considers you an anomaly, that doesn’t mean you can’t be common, common as fucking dirt,” (232). her prose is warm and every metaphor, reference, and motif is expertly tied to her point. what a beautiful thing; “book” feels like an underscore. this is advice and vulnerability. i will treasure my copy.

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salemander's review

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5.0

one of the most beautiful written and formatted books i’ve ever read. the looming sense of dread throughout as she falls deeper into abuse was heartbreaking, yet she fills the narrative with reminders that she will be free and it will not last forever. a gorgeous memoir.

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_jmstone_'s review

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challenging dark emotional informative reflective fast-paced

4.75

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cindyjoy's review

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dark emotional informative reflective sad tense slow-paced

5.0

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yourbookishbff's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

5.0

In the Dream House felt so reminiscent to me of Children of the Land, in that both memoirs are non-linear and episodic, weaving truth abstractly to allow for a retelling of significant trauma. The use of horror devices - and the eery symbolism of the dream house - underscore the constant suspense and fear Machado experienced within an abusive relationship with her female partner. Her narrative creates new space for accounting trauma within queer relationships, and she incorporates historical discussions of intimate partner abuse in queer relationships and research into its prevalence.

This narrative structure also helps the reader understand the slow boil of abuse and sheds light on the ways people wield power within relationships. It is a heart wrenching examination of the isolation, emotional manipulation, bullying and gaslighting of emotional abuse in particular. I also really appreciated the reflections on language and pop culture (the origin story of the term gaslighting was new to me and fascinating).

This is a horrifying and beautifully written memoir that will resonate with those who appreciate nonlinear reflections. I particularly loved the use of second person to address her younger self, and the simultaneous distance and intimacy this created for her as she examines this part of her life.

I would also note that the audiobook is narrated by Machado and I highly recommend this format.

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