Take a photo of a barcode or cover
4.4 AVERAGE
4.4 AVERAGE
This book absolutely broke me. Watching the way the relationship developed and how the author gained understanding of her mother while also losing her was extremely emotional. I highly recommend this book for literally anyone, it was gorgeous. I also loved the commentary on the “roles” and expectations of women.
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt
emotional
slow-paced
I really connected with this book as a first-generation immigrant and daughter. The relationships and frustrations voiced by the author felt all too familiar and weirdly enough I found myself pulling little tidbits of brilliance from the book regarding my own relationships and being a brown girl. this book felt validating because others feel how i feel and this is a 40 something author and mother she should have it more figured out but it just reinforces that validation of hey lots of people feel this. and the whole dynamics of brown families and the guilt and responsibility and the mystery surrounding our parents it just felt very real and connected with it.
overall i think i see myself buying/rereading this book for sure
overall i think i see myself buying/rereading this book for sure
There are so many things I want to say about this stunning memoir by Maya Shanbhag Lang that I don't know where to start. This quote from a story the author's mother tells her seems like a good place - "Whatever a woman decides, it's not easy."
"What We Carry" is the story of Lang's relationship with her mother, a brilliant but complicated psychiatrist who emigrated to the U.S. and is eventually diagnosed with dementia. As her mother ages and the disease progresses, the author learns that not everything she believed about her mother and their past is true, forcing her to reexamine her childhood and her mom for what and who they really are, and how that made her who she is today. It also forces her to reassess who she wants to be.
Lang's journey as a woman, as a wife, as a mother and most of all as a daughter, is beautiful, heartbreaking, and revelatory. Her writing is lyrical and honest and although it's not a light read, the book is fast-paced and you won't want to put it down. I find myself looking at my relationship with my mother, and hers with my grandmother who also suffered from dementia, differently after reading "What We Carry," and I've also been reflecting on how I want my own daughters to look at their relationships with me. At one point, Lang writes "Maybe at our most maternal, we aren't mothers at all. We're daughters, reaching back in time for the mothers we wish we'd had and then finding ourselves." That is the gift of this book - helping us reflect on our relationships with the women who made us who we are as we shape the women our daughters will become.
Thank you to NetGalley, Random House and the author for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
"What We Carry" is the story of Lang's relationship with her mother, a brilliant but complicated psychiatrist who emigrated to the U.S. and is eventually diagnosed with dementia. As her mother ages and the disease progresses, the author learns that not everything she believed about her mother and their past is true, forcing her to reexamine her childhood and her mom for what and who they really are, and how that made her who she is today. It also forces her to reassess who she wants to be.
Lang's journey as a woman, as a wife, as a mother and most of all as a daughter, is beautiful, heartbreaking, and revelatory. Her writing is lyrical and honest and although it's not a light read, the book is fast-paced and you won't want to put it down. I find myself looking at my relationship with my mother, and hers with my grandmother who also suffered from dementia, differently after reading "What We Carry," and I've also been reflecting on how I want my own daughters to look at their relationships with me. At one point, Lang writes "Maybe at our most maternal, we aren't mothers at all. We're daughters, reaching back in time for the mothers we wish we'd had and then finding ourselves." That is the gift of this book - helping us reflect on our relationships with the women who made us who we are as we shape the women our daughters will become.
Thank you to NetGalley, Random House and the author for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Absolutely loved this book. I was completely captivated by Maya’s story and her voice, and found myself listening for hours without realizing how much time had passed. This book broke my heart and healed it several times over. It made me call my mom to tearfully tell her how much I love her. I often had to stop the audio soundtrack to rewind and listen to a sentence or paragraph again, but her words were so beautiful and profound. This is truly one of my favorite books of the year so far.
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
My grandma immigrated to the United States in 1951, and I saw pieces of her story within Lang’s. Of course, no two stories are the same, but what really struck me was the fugality and hard work that many immigrants speak about. Throughout Lang’s story, she talked about how her mother spent very little money and that everything she ever did was for her and her brother. Later, some of that sacrifice would come into question, but regardless, this is a theme I’ve heard from so many immigrants.
When Lang is older and has a daughter of her own, her mother’s mental health takes a sharp decline. Eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, this was a part of the story that was hard for me to read. My own grandma has also been lost to us, and it is one of the hardest and saddest things I’ve ever had to witness. I appreicated this part book for helping add understanding to what I see with my grandma, and also for showing me what may still be in our future.
This memoir is about the memories and perceptions we carry and the way they affect families through generations. Maya Lang’s storytelling is layered with themes of motherhood, caregiving, aging, and culture. In achingly beautiful proses she tells of learning to care for aging mother while becoming a mother herself.
What I Loved:
▪️The writing is top notch! Poignant and reflective
▪️Lang’s writing on the immigrant life, and the challenges that arise between different generations
▪️The honesty and vulnerability with which she shares her struggles, failings, and fears through this process
For me the personal connection to this book was strong. Both my great grandmother and grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease, and the affects on my family are deep. For this reason, I’ve strayed from reading these type of memoirs. I don’t know what made this one different, but I found the reading process therapeutic. This reading experience helped me remember my grandmother in her fullest and for that I’m extremely grateful.
What I Loved:
▪️The writing is top notch! Poignant and reflective
▪️Lang’s writing on the immigrant life, and the challenges that arise between different generations
▪️The honesty and vulnerability with which she shares her struggles, failings, and fears through this process
For me the personal connection to this book was strong. Both my great grandmother and grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease, and the affects on my family are deep. For this reason, I’ve strayed from reading these type of memoirs. I don’t know what made this one different, but I found the reading process therapeutic. This reading experience helped me remember my grandmother in her fullest and for that I’m extremely grateful.
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
emotional
reflective
sad
one of the best crafted memoirs I've ever read. a gutting reflection on the relationship between mothers and daughters throughout life.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Forced institutionalization, Dementia, Grief, Suicide attempt