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zombiezami's review
5.0
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia and Sexual content
Moderate: Ableism, Transphobia, Rape, Gaslighting, Sexism, Racism, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Forced institutionalization, Bullying, and Chronic illness
Minor: Dementia, Dysphoria, Cursing, and Infidelity
Forced sterilizationpastelkerstin's review
5.0
This book fills a previous gap of non-fiction about asexuality that goes beyond mere Asexuality 101 (definition of asexuality, busting of common misconceptions) but that is still accessible to a broader audience. It has deservedly become the go-to rec for people looking for non-fiction books about asexuality.
In terms of non-fiction about asexuality, I've previously read Ace and Proud: An Asexual Anthology, which is mostly made up of ace people talking about their personal experiences, and it's fine for what it is, but as an anthology, it doesn't have an overarching structure. And then there was also Sex or Ice cream?: Secrets of an Asexual; Asexuality in a Sexed Up WorldβA Thought-Provoking and Comically Quirky Memoir, a memoir I strongly disliked for several reasons (see my review of it for details). Another non-fiction book about asexuality that I have started to read (and intend on finishing) is the more academic Asexual Erotics: Intimate Readings of Compulsory Sexuality. But ACE is different from all of those books and if you are a) not ace but want to learn more about asexuality and how it relates to other topics, b) questioning whether you are ace, or c) are ace and are tired of Asexuality 101 explanations, I'd say read ACE. It's a good introduction to asexuality if you need that but it also has so much more in store. I've known I'm asexual for over eight years. I'm not interested in basic definitions anymore. I'm interested in intersectionality and politics and the complexity of human relationships. I'm interested in analyses of how being a-spec in a world where you are assumed to be attracted to people romantically and sexually shapes your life. And ACE delivers just that.
Chen manages to cover quite a lot of ground in the pages of this books, talking about toxic masculinity, feminism, race, disability, compulsory sexuality, the pathologization of low/no sexual attraction, hermeneutical injustice, relationships, marriage law, consent and more, and how those topics relate to asexual people but also to many non-aces. A lot of the things ace activists fight for are things that would also benefit other people, who do not identify as a-spec, because ace activism often gets to the core of societal problems. I believe you will get something out of this book even if you're not ace for that reason as well.
Also, it should be noted that despite the title, the author also talks about aromanticism. She interviewed not only aroace but also aromantic allosexual people. Most of the book is more concerned with asexuality, so the branding makes sense, but there is a-spec content beyond and seperate from asexuality in here, which I think is great because aromanticism is often overlooked.
I really enjoyed my time with this book and I hope that we'll see even more good non-fiction about a-spec themes in the future. A lot of the topics that Chen mentions are so big and interesting that they could probably fill a whole book on their own. I think the topic of how asexuality intersects with gender roles and gender identity would be a great book, for example. Books like Chen's make me optimistic about the future of a-spec activism and literature!
Moderate: Ableism, Acephobia/Arophobia, Medical trauma, Racism, Sexism, Sexual content, and Misogyny
Minor: Bullying, Dysphoria, Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, Pregnancy, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Murder, Death, and Death of parent
hayleyvem's review against another edition
3.5
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia and Sexual content
Moderate: Ableism, Bullying, Misogyny, Rape, Racism, Sexual assault, and Transphobia
Minor: Alcohol and Gaslighting
alsoapples's review
4.0
Moderate: Acephobia/Arophobia
Minor: Bullying, Chronic illness, Sexual content, and Transphobia
lovely_lisa's review
5.0
Graphic: Ableism, Acephobia/Arophobia, Bullying, Misogyny, Transphobia, Toxic relationship, and Sexism
Minor: Rape
caseythereader's review against another edition
5.0
π I came to the realization last year that I am on the asexuality spectrum, and several passages in this book had me in tears because it was describing things I had felt or thought but had never seen anyone else express. This book is all the words I didn't have.
π Even if you are not asexual or aromantic, please read this book, for two reasons. One, to gain greater understanding of those who are. And two, because this book pulls apart each strand of what makes up our identities - attraction, drive, romance, etc. - and helps the reader understand how these factors are at play (or not) in their own lives, and how assuming everyone is straight/cisgender/allosexual/etc. while placing behavioral expectations on those identities hurts everyone and holds so many people back from knowing their full selves.
Graphic: Ableism, Acephobia/Arophobia, Bullying, Homophobia, Racism, Rape, Religious bigotry, Sexism, Sexual content, and Transphobia