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mfrisk's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I really enjoyed this book as it gave us a glimpse into the experience of the author as an ace person but also many others with a variety of different experiences and perspectives. Though this book was well sourced (and has follow up reads given) it never felt like a textbook but felt more conversational and like the author was taking us on their journey.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia, Rape, Sexual assault, Death of parent, Acephobia/Arophobia, Death, Transphobia, and Sexual harassment
pastelkerstin's review
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
5.0
[For context: I'm asexual and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. This is an ownvoice review.]
This book fills a previous gap of non-fiction about asexuality that goes beyond mere Asexuality 101 (definition of asexuality, busting of common misconceptions) but that is still accessible to a broader audience. It has deservedly become the go-to rec for people looking for non-fiction books about asexuality.
In terms of non-fiction about asexuality, I've previously read Ace and Proud: An Asexual Anthology, which is mostly made up of ace people talking about their personal experiences, and it's fine for what it is, but as an anthology, it doesn't have an overarching structure. And then there was also Sex or Ice cream?: Secrets of an Asexual; Asexuality in a Sexed Up World—A Thought-Provoking and Comically Quirky Memoir, a memoir I strongly disliked for several reasons (see my review of it for details). Another non-fiction book about asexuality that I have started to read (and intend on finishing) is the more academic Asexual Erotics: Intimate Readings of Compulsory Sexuality. But ACE is different from all of those books and if you are a) not ace but want to learn more about asexuality and how it relates to other topics, b) questioning whether you are ace, or c) are ace and are tired of Asexuality 101 explanations, I'd say read ACE. It's a good introduction to asexuality if you need that but it also has so much more in store. I've known I'm asexual for over eight years. I'm not interested in basic definitions anymore. I'm interested in intersectionality and politics and the complexity of human relationships. I'm interested in analyses of how being a-spec in a world where you are assumed to be attracted to people romantically and sexually shapes your life. And ACE delivers just that.
Chen manages to cover quite a lot of ground in the pages of this books, talking about toxic masculinity, feminism, race, disability, compulsory sexuality, the pathologization of low/no sexual attraction, hermeneutical injustice, relationships, marriage law, consent and more, and how those topics relate to asexual people but also to many non-aces. A lot of the things ace activists fight for are things that would also benefit other people, who do not identify as a-spec, because ace activism often gets to the core of societal problems. I believe you will get something out of this book even if you're not ace for that reason as well.
Also, it should be noted that despite the title, the author also talks about aromanticism. She interviewed not only aroace but also aromantic allosexual people. Most of the book is more concerned with asexuality, so the branding makes sense, but there is a-spec content beyond and seperate from asexuality in here, which I think is great because aromanticism is often overlooked.
I really enjoyed my time with this book and I hope that we'll see even more good non-fiction about a-spec themes in the future. A lot of the topics that Chen mentions are so big and interesting that they could probably fill a whole book on their own. I think the topic of how asexuality intersects with gender roles and gender identity would be a great book, for example. Books like Chen's make me optimistic about the future of a-spec activism and literature!
This book fills a previous gap of non-fiction about asexuality that goes beyond mere Asexuality 101 (definition of asexuality, busting of common misconceptions) but that is still accessible to a broader audience. It has deservedly become the go-to rec for people looking for non-fiction books about asexuality.
In terms of non-fiction about asexuality, I've previously read Ace and Proud: An Asexual Anthology, which is mostly made up of ace people talking about their personal experiences, and it's fine for what it is, but as an anthology, it doesn't have an overarching structure. And then there was also Sex or Ice cream?: Secrets of an Asexual; Asexuality in a Sexed Up World—A Thought-Provoking and Comically Quirky Memoir, a memoir I strongly disliked for several reasons (see my review of it for details). Another non-fiction book about asexuality that I have started to read (and intend on finishing) is the more academic Asexual Erotics: Intimate Readings of Compulsory Sexuality. But ACE is different from all of those books and if you are a) not ace but want to learn more about asexuality and how it relates to other topics, b) questioning whether you are ace, or c) are ace and are tired of Asexuality 101 explanations, I'd say read ACE. It's a good introduction to asexuality if you need that but it also has so much more in store. I've known I'm asexual for over eight years. I'm not interested in basic definitions anymore. I'm interested in intersectionality and politics and the complexity of human relationships. I'm interested in analyses of how being a-spec in a world where you are assumed to be attracted to people romantically and sexually shapes your life. And ACE delivers just that.
Chen manages to cover quite a lot of ground in the pages of this books, talking about toxic masculinity, feminism, race, disability, compulsory sexuality, the pathologization of low/no sexual attraction, hermeneutical injustice, relationships, marriage law, consent and more, and how those topics relate to asexual people but also to many non-aces. A lot of the things ace activists fight for are things that would also benefit other people, who do not identify as a-spec, because ace activism often gets to the core of societal problems. I believe you will get something out of this book even if you're not ace for that reason as well.
Also, it should be noted that despite the title, the author also talks about aromanticism. She interviewed not only aroace but also aromantic allosexual people. Most of the book is more concerned with asexuality, so the branding makes sense, but there is a-spec content beyond and seperate from asexuality in here, which I think is great because aromanticism is often overlooked.
I really enjoyed my time with this book and I hope that we'll see even more good non-fiction about a-spec themes in the future. A lot of the topics that Chen mentions are so big and interesting that they could probably fill a whole book on their own. I think the topic of how asexuality intersects with gender roles and gender identity would be a great book, for example. Books like Chen's make me optimistic about the future of a-spec activism and literature!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Acephobia/Arophobia, Medical trauma, Racism, Sexism, Sexual content, and Misogyny
Minor: Bullying, Dysphoria, Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, Pregnancy, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Murder, Death, and Death of parent
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