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kbratten's review against another edition
4.0
It's not that anything in this book is revolutionary, but I'd recommend it to anyone who has gone through a major life transition to understand it, as well as anyone in the middle of a transition to better navigate it, and anyone who hasn't really, to prepare for it. It's not totally a how-to/self-help but is full of useful information and resources.
janthonytucson's review against another edition
5.0
Really inspiring book that gives practical advice and real world examples of how to manage a major life change. Th timing of this book could not be better as we are all living through a collective major life disruption, or lifequake.
I have already implemented several of the strategies outlined in this book in my own life and has allowed me to break through some barriers.
The personal stories are fascinating, and humbling. Well worth the read.
I have already implemented several of the strategies outlined in this book in my own life and has allowed me to break through some barriers.
The personal stories are fascinating, and humbling. Well worth the read.
emilybeingbookish's review against another edition
4.0
I came across this book after hearing an interview with the author on NPR and the book itself did not disappoint! As someone who is currently going through a fairly large life transition, this really resonated with me. I enjoyed the many anecdotes and was a little surprised to learn about the origin of the “mid-life crisis” which Feiler totally debunked. Something that really stood out to me and actually brought me a bit of peace was the emphasis on life being totally nonlinear.
kkuffel's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
inthecommonhours's review against another edition
I’m glad I got this from the library, otherwise I would have read the first two chapters and then have planned to read the rest *someday*—instead, thanks to a deadline, I read it but kept hoping for more takeaways. I liked the personal story of his own father’s struggle and how telling his story was a lifeline. Beyond that the main takeaways from the hundreds of interviews Feller did were: people go through LOTS of transitions and often later in life than they expected. I didn’t see any specific guidelines or conclusions on how to better navigate them. He talks about the three stages: the long goodbye, the messy middle and the new beginning. Does that sound obvious to anyone else?
Shauna Niequist recommended this on two different podcasts, which is why I read it. I’m so curious what struck her as novel or helpful. There were, again, 100s of anecdotes from interviews and many were amazing but we learn a bit of their story and then ever hear of them again. I know this is the trend in books about behavioral theory, and Feller credits Solomon’s Far from the Tree, but I’m just not a fan. I much prefer the deeper dive into just a handful of people’s stories, as in Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.
If you read this and get more from it, please comment because I do feel like I am missing something. I feel like everything the book offers can be found in the William James quote that the title references:
“Life is in the transitions. We can’t ignore these central times of life; we can’t wish or will them away. We have to accept them, name them, mark them, share them, and eventually convert them into fuel for remaking our life stories.”
Shauna Niequist recommended this on two different podcasts, which is why I read it. I’m so curious what struck her as novel or helpful. There were, again, 100s of anecdotes from interviews and many were amazing but we learn a bit of their story and then ever hear of them again. I know this is the trend in books about behavioral theory, and Feller credits Solomon’s Far from the Tree, but I’m just not a fan. I much prefer the deeper dive into just a handful of people’s stories, as in Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.
If you read this and get more from it, please comment because I do feel like I am missing something. I feel like everything the book offers can be found in the William James quote that the title references:
“Life is in the transitions. We can’t ignore these central times of life; we can’t wish or will them away. We have to accept them, name them, mark them, share them, and eventually convert them into fuel for remaking our life stories.”
sacrificebyfire's review against another edition
5.0
What feels like approximately 100 years ago, my therapist sent me a link to an article (she’s often sending me links; everyone deserves a person who sends them links). It was written by this guy, and I don’t ultimately remember what it said. What I noticed was the end where it says, “Bruce Feiler is the author of Life is in the Transitions...” And I knew I had to get my hands on that book. I am nothing if not a life of transitions!
Well, it finally came available from the library, and it did not disappoint. Feiler went across the country interviewing people about their major life changes (everything from death of infant child, surviving an IED, substance abuse disorder, pursuing an education, leaving an order, entering an order, leaving Wall Street and Silicone Valley, the loss of a parent, suicide, gender reassignment surgery, it runs the gamut), finding patterns in their coping, their skills, their habits, their self-expression, and their self-perception to come up with lessons for the rest of us on patterns that emerged. I’ll give you a clue: agency, belonging, and cause.
Alternating between these personal narratives and psychological theories, the author is here to proclaim the good news (at least good for the rest of us) that the linear life is dead. Instead, we are now in the midst of a life of disrupters (not all of them bad), on average one every 1-2 years. And for the really bad life quakes, we spend on average five years in transition to our new selves. This book is a guide on how to weather that event, whatever it may be, and come out on the other side thriving.
It was a great book. I found the interviewee stories very compelling and endearing. The schools of thought were well-explained and relevant. The lessons learned were accessible and relatable. In fact, I often felt like Feiler had been peeking in my window and reading my mind for the past couple of years. So even if it had no greater value that this, it comfortingly conveys that the anxious reader is not alone. We are a shared, creative humanity with many struggles and, more importantly, wins to share.
4.5 stars
(Crazy side note: I was on page 10 when I discovered my local friend’s boss was an interview subject for the book when I recognized his very distinctive bio - “a country music songwriter became a Lutheran pastor”)
Well, it finally came available from the library, and it did not disappoint. Feiler went across the country interviewing people about their major life changes (everything from death of infant child, surviving an IED, substance abuse disorder, pursuing an education, leaving an order, entering an order, leaving Wall Street and Silicone Valley, the loss of a parent, suicide, gender reassignment surgery, it runs the gamut), finding patterns in their coping, their skills, their habits, their self-expression, and their self-perception to come up with lessons for the rest of us on patterns that emerged. I’ll give you a clue: agency, belonging, and cause.
Alternating between these personal narratives and psychological theories, the author is here to proclaim the good news (at least good for the rest of us) that the linear life is dead. Instead, we are now in the midst of a life of disrupters (not all of them bad), on average one every 1-2 years. And for the really bad life quakes, we spend on average five years in transition to our new selves. This book is a guide on how to weather that event, whatever it may be, and come out on the other side thriving.
It was a great book. I found the interviewee stories very compelling and endearing. The schools of thought were well-explained and relevant. The lessons learned were accessible and relatable. In fact, I often felt like Feiler had been peeking in my window and reading my mind for the past couple of years. So even if it had no greater value that this, it comfortingly conveys that the anxious reader is not alone. We are a shared, creative humanity with many struggles and, more importantly, wins to share.
4.5 stars
(Crazy side note: I was on page 10 when I discovered my local friend’s boss was an interview subject for the book when I recognized his very distinctive bio - “a country music songwriter became a Lutheran pastor”)