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laurflanagan's review against another edition
The style of an omniscient narrator on the side interspersed throughout wasn't working for me.
delaneydonawho's review against another edition
3.0
I only read this bc Harry Styles mentioned it in an interview once. It was very interesting and offered up some great insight. However, I much prefer sappy cheesy romance to the unfortunate reality of the real stuff lol. But seriously, it was a decent read, and I truly enjoyed it.
salamanda's review against another edition
emotional
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Stop trying to justify cheating. it's gross.
coronaurora's review against another edition
2.0
I am afraid de Botton has jumped the shark with this one for me. I say this as a self-professed de Botton completist who has more or less enjoyed all his philosophical outpourings in writing and on his Youtube channel and have almost always nodded away with his analytical wisdom, besides revelling in his ability to bring in philosophers and thinkers of yore to provide credence.
He has played this card before: insert sage little philosophical musings about relationships in a novel-like format, and has almost pulled it off in the lighter and wispier Essays on Love which I had read just a few months back. The Course of Love, which aptly could be titled The Course on Love absolutely fails as a novel as de Botton tries to shoehorn novel-length character lives into commentaries on life/love stages.
There is tons of wisdom here, tons of wonderful analytical psychology distilled from philosophy, historical biography, literary tomes and personal experience (although now that De Botton's brand has grown and grown, he is welcome to wax eloquent like Sage Sartre himself), but boxed within every few passages of the story, the italicised wisdom intrudes like a boarding school headmistress flinging open the door every few minutes to lecture a kid who's enjoying his movie secretly on his laptop. I felt like that kid. Every time I tried to lose myself in the story crafted for me with visible detail, I was increasingly slapped back to attention to hear a well-meaning but terribly patronising commentary that felt like those English lessons where a movie is paused for a "Let's all have a think about what we feel about this". It completely killed the mood and I lost all patience to follow the lead couple as they are made to bungee-jump from one life phase to another.
So the Course of Love absolutely failed for me as a novel. I like to soak in the chaos of characters' worlds with suggested-but-just-out-of-sight Truths and Epiphanies which, if the book finds me in the right "space", become manifest through their words, actions, the author's rhythm in the language and the story he or she has laid out for me.
To pair it with a self-help manual reduces the art of the novel, and I was left somewhat offended by de Botton's experiment. Maybe if he had used some irony or humour for his dead serious assertions about matters of love (like he managed in Essays of Love and contemporary novelists like Mohsin Hamid and Tash Aw have done in Five Star Billionaire/Get Rich in Asia), I wouldn't have taken this much umbrage. But here he has ambitiously gone for a life-spanning lesson on love and probably bitten off more than he can chew.
Kundera, Okri and Kureishi have pulled off this mean feat of interweaving philosophical musings within the Novel, and even these masters, when they have gone too far, have resulted in books for me that I just couldn't recollect a few weeks after turning the last page. I have therefore become very wary of novels that use their characters explicitly to be mouthpieces or sock-puppets for their author's philosophical musings. De Botton can both muse and tell a story well, but I'd like it if he doesn't try to do both at the same time.
However, all my misgivings about The Course of Love posturing as a novel aside, this book does have merit when seen as a collection of musings flanked on all sides by an illustrative story. De Botton does crisp little vignettes well, he summarises like he's been doing this since he was born, and is able to give one nifty commentaries in soothing and effortless prose on anything, so for him to employ his skills to the contradictions and anxieties that plague committed relationships, it leads to some home truths and straight-talking that one can't help but nod away to. One just has to detach completely from following the novel's characters' (Kirsten and Rabih I think they are called) ultimate fate and just float along with a vague idea of them. Despite covering a lot of old ground about the farce of adopting roles in society (Yes I am a subscriber to his School of Life), he lets his lead couple do something adventurous like cheat on each other (but you are not completely taken in by the conceit because you are aware that De Botton the lecturer is just itching to preach on the topic). Sorry Alain, but this is how it comes across and this is why I don't advise reading this book cover to cover.
In all, I finished this book with mixed feelings. Usually I am quite open minded about books and novels pushing boundaries but I am not sure if I am convinced about having life and philosophy lessons first reduced to bumper-sticker cliches and then married to a novelistic narrative in such a slim volume makes for an adult read. Proust this ain't.
He has played this card before: insert sage little philosophical musings about relationships in a novel-like format, and has almost pulled it off in the lighter and wispier Essays on Love which I had read just a few months back. The Course of Love, which aptly could be titled The Course on Love absolutely fails as a novel as de Botton tries to shoehorn novel-length character lives into commentaries on life/love stages.
There is tons of wisdom here, tons of wonderful analytical psychology distilled from philosophy, historical biography, literary tomes and personal experience (although now that De Botton's brand has grown and grown, he is welcome to wax eloquent like Sage Sartre himself), but boxed within every few passages of the story, the italicised wisdom intrudes like a boarding school headmistress flinging open the door every few minutes to lecture a kid who's enjoying his movie secretly on his laptop. I felt like that kid. Every time I tried to lose myself in the story crafted for me with visible detail, I was increasingly slapped back to attention to hear a well-meaning but terribly patronising commentary that felt like those English lessons where a movie is paused for a "Let's all have a think about what we feel about this". It completely killed the mood and I lost all patience to follow the lead couple as they are made to bungee-jump from one life phase to another.
So the Course of Love absolutely failed for me as a novel. I like to soak in the chaos of characters' worlds with suggested-but-just-out-of-sight Truths and Epiphanies which, if the book finds me in the right "space", become manifest through their words, actions, the author's rhythm in the language and the story he or she has laid out for me.
To pair it with a self-help manual reduces the art of the novel, and I was left somewhat offended by de Botton's experiment. Maybe if he had used some irony or humour for his dead serious assertions about matters of love (like he managed in Essays of Love and contemporary novelists like Mohsin Hamid and Tash Aw have done in Five Star Billionaire/Get Rich in Asia), I wouldn't have taken this much umbrage. But here he has ambitiously gone for a life-spanning lesson on love and probably bitten off more than he can chew.
Kundera, Okri and Kureishi have pulled off this mean feat of interweaving philosophical musings within the Novel, and even these masters, when they have gone too far, have resulted in books for me that I just couldn't recollect a few weeks after turning the last page. I have therefore become very wary of novels that use their characters explicitly to be mouthpieces or sock-puppets for their author's philosophical musings. De Botton can both muse and tell a story well, but I'd like it if he doesn't try to do both at the same time.
However, all my misgivings about The Course of Love posturing as a novel aside, this book does have merit when seen as a collection of musings flanked on all sides by an illustrative story. De Botton does crisp little vignettes well, he summarises like he's been doing this since he was born, and is able to give one nifty commentaries in soothing and effortless prose on anything, so for him to employ his skills to the contradictions and anxieties that plague committed relationships, it leads to some home truths and straight-talking that one can't help but nod away to. One just has to detach completely from following the novel's characters' (Kirsten and Rabih I think they are called) ultimate fate and just float along with a vague idea of them. Despite covering a lot of old ground about the farce of adopting roles in society (Yes I am a subscriber to his School of Life), he lets his lead couple do something adventurous like cheat on each other (but you are not completely taken in by the conceit because you are aware that De Botton the lecturer is just itching to preach on the topic). Sorry Alain, but this is how it comes across and this is why I don't advise reading this book cover to cover.
In all, I finished this book with mixed feelings. Usually I am quite open minded about books and novels pushing boundaries but I am not sure if I am convinced about having life and philosophy lessons first reduced to bumper-sticker cliches and then married to a novelistic narrative in such a slim volume makes for an adult read. Proust this ain't.
satashan's review against another edition
2.0
Interesting, but I find School of Life/Alain de Botton so frustrating. The ideas about how everything comes from our childhood, and the pretty sickening section about cheating and the "institution of marriage" really bugged me. I hope I never have such a pessimistic and crappy view of relationships. But it was also nice to hear about some things that we don't think are normal in our relationships, like huge arguments over stupid little things or shutting down even though you know it won't help the situation. So overall, very mixed feelings on this one.
cmallerywriter's review against another edition
5.0
This book should be required reading at some point in your adult life. The story of Rabih maturing into his relationships and his life may help others reach that maturity sooner. We are all going to make mistakes in love and life, but that should not prevent us from going forward and living our lives. We just need to live them understanding our weaknesses.
Rabih and Kirsten are relatable characters and the introspective style of writing shows great insight into human nature. While no experience is the same ever, we all have more in common than we think.
Rabih and Kirsten are relatable characters and the introspective style of writing shows great insight into human nature. While no experience is the same ever, we all have more in common than we think.
bookreader_20's review against another edition
3.0
Loved it and hated it. In the middle I did wanted to drop it, but then thought better of it and continued (a good decision btw).
soapie33's review against another edition
informative
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
An exploration into love and relationships following the meeting, relationship and marriage of two people. Probing into the heart of modern marriage. While I found the informative, essay-like sections interesting I didn’t really care for the characters and their story particularly.
teacarstensen's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
bluebonnetreads's review against another edition
5.0
Everyone should read this. It cuts to the reality of marriage in a beautiful, hopeful way, and pulls no punches.