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danipooo's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
cody_crumley's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
“Who cares what the world sees if you can’t even stand to look at yourself?”
This might be one of the hardest reviews I have had to write for a bookclub book in a while. This book hit me emotionally in a place that I have not visited since my father died.
The way that Etaf Rum’s writing handles the descriptions of mental health and associated themes like micro and macro aggressions that the main character Yara has thrown at her. The way the author describes intergenerational family trauma. A lot of books that try to focus on mental health themes like they miss the finer details or only graze the surface. The fact that Rum is able to paint in the grey area with such delicate touches, like being able to show Yara’s mother as both a terrible victim of mental/physical abuse from her husband but also a perpetrator of mental abuse to Yara as a child.
Yara and Fadi’s marriage has a lot of similarities to my parents marriage. Two people who probably should not have gotten married, rushed into a relationship/marriage because of outside influences and circumstances. Every dialogue conversation between Fadi and Yara, like when Yara asked him to help with cleaning up transported me back to when I was a child and the same conversation would have between them.
The overall depiction of mental health was stellar. The interaction with Yara and the first counselor, which does a wonderful job of portraying the gender dynamics when the therapist is male and the patient is female. The journey Yara goes on through this book to stop blaming herself for what happened during her childhood while actually sitting with her emotions is extremely powerful and should be required reading for anyone that has similar problems.
I also think reading this book right now is more important than ever because what is happening to Palestine via the genocide perpetrated by Israel. This looks into the cultural trauma that a Palestinian-American can go through, not being able to go back to where they are from because of human atrocities delivered by an entire country is sickening.
While I don’t think that everyone who reads this will be impacted like I was, I still would recommend this book to everyone because of the subject matter and it’s current relevance to the current situation in Palestine.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Mental illness, and Gaslighting
dragongirl271's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Moderate: Misogyny, Death of parent, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, and Domestic abuse
Minor: Child abuse, Infidelity, and Racism
lemonadegirl29's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
rehelwig's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
bino00's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.25
viveelan's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
I have mixed feelings about this book. I loved Etaf Rum's first book A Woman isn't Man. I enjoy reading about women from other cultures and the Palestinian people have suffered so much. I enjoyed her stories of her grandmother and the stories about food: her cooking with her mother, with Silas, for her family, Silas and his mother's Southern cooking.
I appreciate* the story about generational trauma. (I think appreciate is the right word here. I don't "like" it. It is what it is. I think it's good that the world in general is becoming aware of it.)
I wish she would have gone into more details about Fadi's lie. It seems like he was cheating on her.
I was disappointed in the way the college handled her altercation. It was her story but it didn't seem to ring true. Racism is a serious offense and should be dealt with, especially on a college campus.
Of course, I loved the role art played in the story and it her life.
Things I didn't like: a lot of the book felt whiny. I have to think of a way to articulate that better (Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt was excellent but 'tis was whiny)
While I think her therapy was integral to the story, and I think she created both therapists with grace and accuracy, I struggle with books that feel like a therapy session. (I hate children's books that "preach" or are therapy sessions.) This didn’t feel like a therapy session but came close. I did like the character of Esther and her whole person therapy, even though she was a minor, underdeveloped character.
I appreciate* the story about generational trauma. (I think appreciate is the right word here. I don't "like" it. It is what it is. I think it's good that the world in general is becoming aware of it.)
I wish she would have gone into more details about Fadi's lie. It seems like he was cheating on her.
I was disappointed in the way the college handled her altercation. It was her story but it didn't seem to ring true. Racism is a serious offense and should be dealt with, especially on a college campus.
Of course, I loved the role art played in the story and it her life.
Things I didn't like: a lot of the book felt whiny. I have to think of a way to articulate that better (Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt was excellent but 'tis was whiny)
While I think her therapy was integral to the story, and I think she created both therapists with grace and accuracy, I struggle with books that feel like a therapy session. (I hate children's books that "preach" or are therapy sessions.) This didn’t feel like a therapy session but came close. I did like the character of Esther and her whole person therapy, even though she was a minor, underdeveloped character.
mitskacir's review against another edition
3.0
Read this for a book club and might update again once we have our discussion.
Pros: I was very absorbed by this book and read it any chance I got. The story was compelling and the tension was very real - I did not have a pleasant experience reading this book (a testament to the author's ability, not in a bad way), which is maybe why I tried reading it so fast; I really wanted Yara to break free and achieve her dreams.
Cons: While the book has a lot of very important things to say about racism, sexism, trauma, displacement, etc. I felt a bit beaten over the head with it. They book said a lot of things I've heard before in a way that wasn't particularly unique or new. I think it said everything very effectively, and like I said the writing really made me feel Yara's emotions alongside her, but there was something that also slightly bored me that I can't quite articulate. Maybe it felt a bit too didactic, as if the author didn't trust the reader to understand it without it being explained explicitly. In this way, it felt more like I was reading a YA novel than adult literary fiction.
Pros: I was very absorbed by this book and read it any chance I got. The story was compelling and the tension was very real - I did not have a pleasant experience reading this book (a testament to the author's ability, not in a bad way), which is maybe why I tried reading it so fast; I really wanted Yara to break free and achieve her dreams.
Cons: While the book has a lot of very important things to say about racism, sexism, trauma, displacement, etc. I felt a bit beaten over the head with it. They book said a lot of things I've heard before in a way that wasn't particularly unique or new. I think it said everything very effectively, and like I said the writing really made me feel Yara's emotions alongside her, but there was something that also slightly bored me that I can't quite articulate. Maybe it felt a bit too didactic, as if the author didn't trust the reader to understand it without it being explained explicitly. In this way, it felt more like I was reading a YA novel than adult literary fiction.