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micanl's review
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.5
Faster read than I thought due to my familiarity with psychology.
Enjoyed reading this as a parent of an infant, but a lot of the exercises will be more beneficial when my child is more active with communication and conflict response is more complex.
Enjoyed reading this as a parent of an infant, but a lot of the exercises will be more beneficial when my child is more active with communication and conflict response is more complex.
jwsg's review
2.0
I really enjoyed Siegel's The Whole Brain Child, which he had co-written with Tina Payne Bryson. It was short, pithy and accessibly written and I was looking forward to Parenting from the Inside Out.
The premise of Parenting from the Inside Out is that if you want to be an effective parent, you've got to do the self-work and develop self-awareness of who you are, and how your experiences have shaped you and your responses to situations. If you're not aware of your emotional baggage, your child can experience you as being inconsistent, confusing, distant or even frightening. So we need to reflect on our responses as a parent and why we respond the way we do. And the book has exercises to help you work through this (and extra reading if you're interested in the science grounding each chapter).
That's mainly it. But whereas The Whole Brain Child felt like a quick and speedy read, Parenting from the Inside Out felt plodding and repetitive and maybe about a 100 pages too long. The most useful chapters were probably chapters 3 and 4 on connecting emotionally, which stressed the importance of being attuned to and acknowledging your child's emotions (e.g. instead of screeching at your kid to take the bugs he's brought in out of the kitchen, to acknowledge his excitement over his find then asking him to take them out where they will be happier), being able to reflect and respond to your child's emotions appropriately (instead of denying their emotions e.g you're not hurt, there's no need to cry, or that toy isn't very nice, let's put it down). Chapter 8, on how we can reconnect and repair the attachment with our children after a disconnection or rupture was also a useful reminder.
The premise of Parenting from the Inside Out is that if you want to be an effective parent, you've got to do the self-work and develop self-awareness of who you are, and how your experiences have shaped you and your responses to situations. If you're not aware of your emotional baggage, your child can experience you as being inconsistent, confusing, distant or even frightening. So we need to reflect on our responses as a parent and why we respond the way we do. And the book has exercises to help you work through this (and extra reading if you're interested in the science grounding each chapter).
That's mainly it. But whereas The Whole Brain Child felt like a quick and speedy read, Parenting from the Inside Out felt plodding and repetitive and maybe about a 100 pages too long. The most useful chapters were probably chapters 3 and 4 on connecting emotionally, which stressed the importance of being attuned to and acknowledging your child's emotions (e.g. instead of screeching at your kid to take the bugs he's brought in out of the kitchen, to acknowledge his excitement over his find then asking him to take them out where they will be happier), being able to reflect and respond to your child's emotions appropriately (instead of denying their emotions e.g you're not hurt, there's no need to cry, or that toy isn't very nice, let's put it down). Chapter 8, on how we can reconnect and repair the attachment with our children after a disconnection or rupture was also a useful reminder.
vegspringroll's review
3.0
Good and important content but VERY dry, I didn't find it an engaging read at all. Would definitely recommend their other books The Whole Brain Child and No Drama Discipline over this one.