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Lee Kofman's memoir is about her search for freedom and autonomy while being married is a fascinating read. What began as a personal journey of love and marriage became a book whereby Kofman interviews people who have engaged in relationships that don't follow the traditional monogamous model.
I loved this book for many reasons-the honest and heartfelt writing, and the fact that it made me think about relationships and the longevity of marriages. While Kofman's journey ultimately ends with a happy ending, she realises that the marriage she was in did not fulfill her needs and leaves, only to find love and a traditional monogamous marriage, it was the stories of her interview subjects that provided much food for thought.
Kofman undertook a lot of research about polyamorous communities and other non-traditional relationships and I learnt a lot from this book. One of the things I was struck by is the honesty of some of her interview subjects about the tumultuous lives they experience as they engage in different partnership models. How their relationship is constantly changing and evolving, and that there is the acknowledgement of the pain and pleasure that this results in.
Being in a long term relationship, whether it is monogamous or open, there will be pleasure and pain, what I was struck by is that the open relationships might be more honest in expecting this to happen, whereas with monogamy we're sold the model of happily ever after and are then shocked that there is an after that might not be so happy.
This was a beautifully written memoir that transcends the confessional and does what great creative fiction should do, uses the personal in order to tell a universal story and give the reader pleasure, and a moment of reflection on their own lives.
Lee Kofman's memoir is about her search for freedom and autonomy while being married is a fascinating read. What began as a personal journey of love and marriage became a book whereby Kofman interviews people who have engaged in relationships that don't follow the traditional monogamous model.
I loved this book for many reasons-the honest and heartfelt writing, and the fact that it made me think about relationships and the longevity of marriages. While Kofman's journey ultimately ends with a happy ending, she realises that the marriage she was in did not fulfill her needs and leaves, only to find love and a traditional monogamous marriage, it was the stories of her interview subjects that provided much food for thought.
Kofman undertook a lot of research about polyamorous communities and other non-traditional relationships and I learnt a lot from this book. One of the things I was struck by is the honesty of some of her interview subjects about the tumultuous lives they experience as they engage in different partnership models. How their relationship is constantly changing and evolving, and that there is the acknowledgement of the pain and pleasure that this results in.
Being in a long term relationship, whether it is monogamous or open, there will be pleasure and pain, what I was struck by is that the open relationships might be more honest in expecting this to happen, whereas with monogamy we're sold the model of happily ever after and are then shocked that there is an after that might not be so happy.
This was a beautifully written memoir that transcends the confessional and does what great creative fiction should do, uses the personal in order to tell a universal story and give the reader pleasure, and a moment of reflection on their own lives.
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